Men sat in women's changing rooms

[nycfrog]

AIBU to get annoyed with women who plop their (male) SOs on the stools/seating in changing rooms?

Yesterday I needed the store assistant to help me with the back of a dress - on the way out of the changing rooms I realised my bare back had basically been exposed to a random bloke sat at the entrance. I know the shop assistant probably could have been more discreet but aibu to think they could sit somewhere else?

Not your BARE BACK!?

Well I personally am not bothered about single sex spaces not sure what trauma or whatever led you to be so against them

You can work through your issues with women having privacy and dignity if you really try

Or are you just a bigot?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

I simply copy and pasted what you wrote, and that was that you would never take your husband into a shop where you or other women were getting undressed. I simply pointed out this was bollocks. Which it is and I assume from your new post your dh has indeed been in these shops, if only to walk through, eyes strictly pointed to the ground, to get to the cafe.

They are there for the people that either cannot decide for themselves what suits them, or who dress for their partner’s approval.

That’s not the case.

Then what is?

Gardai

Is it ok for women to call other women pathetic for wanting to go shopping with their partners then? Or insinuating that they don't know their own minds or are too feeble to go shopping on their own? Are those comments ok then in your book?

Or maybe you are a man, putting women against each other? Who knows, it is the internet after all

I've never understood it, personally I'd much rather go shopping by myself

@MadgeMidgerson you don’t need to have had a ‘trauma’ to want a space...why is that being a bigot btw ?

I've never understood it, personally I'd much rather go shopping by myself

And other people have different preferences. Neither is wrong.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I didn’t say that, sorry to spoil your thunder.
I said, as an aside I was ‘irrationally’ irritated by some guys in the lingerie dept.
You are the one who is projecting.
Don’t try and twist my words.

No, I’m talking about the trauma that makes some NOT want a single sex space

or, maybe they are bigoted about women having their boundaries respected

In any case if they aren’t bigots, they will work through it and leave women alone

@Gardai you said that you were exposing more at that time so maybe the curtains wouod come in handy.

There are men on the ward during the day so what difference would it make to have them there in the night to help their wife and newborn? Just because one or two women might not be happy with it, so what?? They have curtains. Every single one of ny frineds said that they were gutted that their partner couldnt stay so i think your view might not be as common as you think.

MadgeMidgerson

But the shop floor isn't a single sex space so you cannot object to men being present there.

And i still done get your woke comment.

What the hell does a middle aged man even need to go into New Look for? Its a shop aimed at teenage girls!

Middle aged men tend to have teen aged daughters.

I'm a grown woman and I shop in New Look. Usually for shoes, but might try clothes on if they take my fancy. If DH is with me, I don't make him wait outside the shop door.

If you really try you can push through and respect women’s boundaries

I appreciate that nothing in your lived experience may have led you to believe that this can or should be done but you can totally do it

@Beaverdam I’m beginning to realise, from mumsnet threads, that it is becoming a more popular idea. I’m menopausal now so I don’t need to worry about that eventuality.

@Gardai ive just read more of your comments. You sound like you dislike men. Its unhealthy. Im not engaging in any further conversation with you sorry.

Not your BARE BACK!?’

What, exactly, are you hoping to achieve with this comment?

MadgeMidgerson

I have no idea what you are saying.

What do you mean? Do you think that men should be banned from entire departments within stores? That men walking through, or shopping in these departments is trampling boundaries?

Feeling is mutual @Beaverdam.

you know, a person could ask themselves, given that the world is determined to make women feel (quite justifiably) unsafe and then jeer at them for this,

Why do we let men feel safe anywhere?

Why not go, en masse, into their fitting rooms, and stare, making it clear that their bodies are being assessed and found wanting?

This is just one example.

Maybe if liberation is impossible for women, equality should come for men. Maybe they should get to feel unsafe, a trespasser in the public sphere, there on sufferance and with infinitely negotiable boundaries

Why not?

Igot you're absolutely determined to make my post what it wasn't. I'm referring to a shop like M&S or John Lewis. If I want to go and look at dresses, my husband - on his own or with the kids - will trundle off to Costa or similar that isn't in the shop at all, it's a separate concession outside the shop.

If he wanted to look at menswear or electronics or something, he would. But, he wouldn't be loitering or sitting directly outside the women's changing room because that is just weird and creepy - and it's a woman's space, not his.

MadgeMidgerson

What are you talking about?

Shops are open to everyone. That's got nothing to do with men in women's changing rooms or vice versa. Both should be single sex spaces.

Shops, however are not. Start a campaign if you want men banned from shops.

But, he wouldn't be loitering or sitting directly outside the women's changing room because that is just weird and creepy - and it's a woman's space, not his.

Well, no it isn't. The shop floor is not a woman's space and you have no control over who is there. You sound quite irrational tbh.

In my Tesco the fitting room is actually situated within the men's clothing area. How does that work in your world?

Either women can't use it because they have to enter the men's space or men can't shop the men's department because they have to walk past the entrance to the fitting room which you've designated a woman's space?

I think you're taking a bit of a leap there hearhooves. Many of women have felt unsafe due to men's behaviour and actions in public spaces, so why oh why should they be allowed into places for vulnerable women and enter places were women were vulnerable.
I think that is the point they are trying to articulate (ignore me if I'm wrong - that's how it read to me!) and as you support single sex spaces I'm sure you can understand that,