Men sat in women's changing rooms

[nycfrog]

AIBU to get annoyed with women who plop their (male) SOs on the stools/seating in changing rooms?

Yesterday I needed the store assistant to help me with the back of a dress - on the way out of the changing rooms I realised my bare back had basically been exposed to a random bloke sat at the entrance. I know the shop assistant probably could have been more discreet but aibu to think they could sit somewhere else?

OP sadly I think this is another example of people not caring about privacy.

What shop was this please? I have never seen a changing room with seats pointed directly into the area, they are always outside the changing areas.

Our New Look is like this, but also lots of other shops for teens.

so any man who is with his partner while she is buying a bra is a perv now? Really?

I've seen this and think it's pathetic that a woman can't try on clothes without having their partner near to approve or not. If they need this then they should go out of the changing area to display it.

TabbyStar well I would complain to the manager then, if men are sitting staring at teenage girls getting changed.

Yet again it's very little men policing every single space that women and girls occupy, whether physical or e-space like Mumsnet.

...and penis pleasing women who are happy for their peeping tom partners to ogle other women as the price they pay to hang on to him.

No decent bloke would be happy to be in a changing room violating women and girls privacy and he'd tell his DH that too unless he's a dirty pervert. That's it.

I'm not aware of any shops that provide separate changing facilities for physically disabled people.

I do appreciate those shops that still accommodate my complex mental health needs by providing single sex facilities though. It's hard enough using a changing room; if there are men in there (whether expected or unexpected) it's impossible.

Not that we go shopping together. Why would we? I don't need his opinion on my clothes

Neither do I but I do value his opinion. Some of my clothes that have received the most complements from other women were bought by him with no input from me.

Women dragging bored men around ships is so annoying! Please don't do it. Obviously if you need any additional mental or physical support this doesn't apply. Men getting in the way, looking vacant while you buy underwear or like you say plopped down in/next to changing rooms.

I’ve noticed more accessible changing spaces in my local Sainsbury’s - it’s unisex with full length lockable doors and one larger cubicle with handrails and an emergency alarm.

A man having a sit down outside the changing room whilst his parter is in there is "policing" the space? Come off it!

Old article but 5 years ago 1/3rd of department stores had accessible changing rooms.

I hope it’s improved since then!

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/two-thirds-of-shops-lack-basic-measures-to-help-disabled-people-government-backed-audit-finds-9907721.html

My DH always does that, so he can tell me his opinion about clothes that I am trying on. It never occurred to me that other women might feel uncomfortable about that t since all the changing happens inside the cubicle. And in my experience a shop assistant will come in and help out in there.

My Dh would never go into the women's changing room and assumes it's only creeps and controlling men that would. So may places have curtains with the annoying gaps so that is potentially a thrill for the creeps that may be in there. In a similar way to up skirting from what I understand it is getting a glimpse of someone unaware.

It never occurred to me that other women might feel uncomfortable

Ah, sweet summer child.

Ah Honeybee is a prime example of someone who has no clue about the erosion of women's spaces, that and it shows her in a rather selfish light... Why would you not consider others feeling uncomfortable because you need to show your husband? You could just buy the clothes and take them home to show him if his opinion is that valuable?

Women dragging bored men around ships is so annoying! Please don't do it. Obviously if you need any additional mental or physical support this doesn't apply. Men getting in the way, looking vacant while you buy underwear or like you say plopped down in/next to changing rooms.

As long as they aren't in the changing room it's not really any of your business who goes shopping is it? If people want to go shopping with their partners that's up to them. You can't control who goes into a shop.

No one has actually given a proper answer to the question I asked up thread. Maybe it was missed or totally ignored because no one could think of a genuine answer that didn’t translate as ‘we want what we want and we don’t care about other women’s right to dignity and privacy in a space that is intended for FEMALES’. 🤷🏻‍♀️

At the risk of boring posters, I’ll ask again.

Why are so many posters ridiculing the OP for having different boundaries from them? Seriously? Do you think it’s appropriate to tell a female that she has no right to decide where her boundaries lie? Is it only your line that shouldn’t be crossed? Can any of you give me a serious answer, without saying she’s just being precious, silly, etc?

OP I agree for what little my opinion as a woman counts. I was in monsoon the other day, flung open my curtain to ask the assistant to get me another size and there was a man and his teenage son sat on the sofas in the middle literally a metre away from my cubicle.

I am a Muslim woman and I choose to cover, I was in my vest and it was pretty distressing to me, for all those women jeering at someone not wanting their bare back on display.

I’m shocked at how quickly it’s changed from women’s changing rooms to being women only to whoever fancies a sit down cos it’s been a long day shopping

So now that you are aware, Honeybee85, are you going to get your husband to wait outside?

MrGsFancyNewVagina

I don't think men should be in the women's changing rooms. I was slightly confused by ops original description of the chair being in the corridor as to whether it was in or outside the changing room but she's since cleared that up.

So, men inside the changing room - op nbu
Men outside the changing room, nearby, in any of the "female centric" departments, inside the store anywhere or just generally accompanying their partner shopping - people objecting to this are being unreasonable.

MrGs my proper answer is they don't have the critical self-awareness to be able to recognise that they're unconsciously assuming that their own boundaries are a typical example of Reasonable, and they are thus operating on the general principle that where others' differing boundaries conflict with their own the others are Unreasonable.

In short they think they're right and differing opinions are automatically on some level wrong opinions. It's largely unconscious and there's no malice involved.

Human psychology is bloody depressing.

@OSometimesIWonder I know. Sigh. I'm 43 and getting weary. We are in a real trough at the moment with current woke-ness eroding everything we've fought for. Funny how the men aren't giving way.

The best thing about all of this is super arrogant High Street stores REALLY need us right now. As other OP's point out women on here don't just grumble SHOUT very loudly about this. If they won't listen we can live without them Amazon etc are just greatttt!

Perv protection, Disabled access, It's all an opportunity for stores to move in to 21st century..... or don't and go out of business.

How about Boot out the pervy blokes as a slogan?

A few years ago my teenage DD came back out of the New Look changing rooms to find me. They were as others have mentioned, centered around a bench in the middle of the room. A middle aged man was sitting there and my DD was uncomfortable.
I went in with her and asked him why he was in the woman's changing room, it was full of teens behind flimsy curtains. He said his wife needed his opinion on her outfit. I suggested he wait outside and his wife could walk out, he refused but by this time 2 other woman had joined in with me and he eventually left but not before calling me an uptight cunt.