Men sat in women's changing rooms

[nycfrog]

AIBU to get annoyed with women who plop their (male) SOs on the stools/seating in changing rooms?

Yesterday I needed the store assistant to help me with the back of a dress - on the way out of the changing rooms I realised my bare back had basically been exposed to a random bloke sat at the entrance. I know the shop assistant probably could have been more discreet but aibu to think they could sit somewhere else?

A lot of people on this thread are illustrating why we have lost so many single sex spaces and why the rest are going or will be gone in years to come.

Because they don't care and because it's not a issue to them then fuck the rest of us. Fuck anyone who is not like them and who does not share their opinion.

When there is a third way that accommodates everyone including men and women who like their privacy but no! lets not go for that because of stupid wimmins feelings and their stupid hysteria.

As many PPs have said, any DECENT man would not do this. A man who does hang about anywhere that is clearly a women's private space is either pervy, thick, clueless, or astonishingly self-absorbed. Those with such partners, get a grip and have some empathy or don't take him in the women's clothing section.

But, he wouldn't be loitering or sitting directly outside the women's changing room because that is just weird and creepy - and it's a woman's space, not his

How is OUTSIDE the changing rooms a women's space?
You can't police who stands outside near changing rooms.
Goes back to my point upthread - how far back is acceptable for men to stay away from the changing rooms area?

Trust me. He does not want to be there either.

Didn't OP say he was inside the women's changing room but at the edge?
My OH would never enter the women's changing rooms at all, if so desperately needed his opinion I'm confident he'd tell me to come out or take pictures.

There are men on the ward during the day so what difference would it make to have them there in the night to help their wife and newborn? Just because one or two women might not be happy with it, so what??

How dense do you have to be to not understand why this would be an issue for many.

You honestly think the right to having hubby there as an extra pair of hands trumps others right to feeling safe? Especially after giving birth when it's not uncommon to be feeling physically and mentally fragile.

Mind. Blown.

Didn't OP say he was inside the women's changing room but at the edge?

Yes, a few posts in - but some posters on here think that men shouldn't be anywhere near the outside of the changing rooms at all as it's weird and loitery and I was just wondering how far you'd take that?!

Those with such partners, get a grip and have some empathy or don't take him in the women's clothing section.

Are you serious? The whole of women's clothing section and not just inside the women's changing room?

I get why you feel that way. I use to totally feel like that.

Then they introduced more changing room areas with cubicles for males and females. I recoiled at the thought. But with the doors rather than curtains I felt much better about it.

Even in all female changing rooms I feel better and more in control if it's a proper door.

I think that affects how I feel more than the sex of the people in there.

@WotchaTalkinBoutWillis outside is fine (assuming they're waiting for their partner/relative or friend) but inside ought to be a woman's space.

They should put seats outside the changing rooms for people who are waiting.

I'm not talking about the women's section, anybody can be there and there's no issue with that. A man can't respectfully be outside the women's changing room and a decent man would understand that and not be there, he has no reason to be there.

Your (general, your) may be perfectly ok but, his presence in a female-specific area (like a changing room) normalises males being there. ALL males. That is very damaging and it's unnecessary.

It ought to be obvious but to some, their wish to have their partner everywhere with them tramples on the rights of women not to have men in women-only areas.

Just because one or two women might not be happy with it, so what??

How many women objecting would be ok, according to you?

so why oh why should they be allowed into places for vulnerable women and enter places were women were vulnerable.

In a shop? So men shouldn't be allowed in a shop in case a vulnerable woman is present?

Just because one or two women might not be happy with it, so what?

Consent isn’t a democratic vote. One no is a veto.

Sorry op as you are a woman you no longer have the right to determine that you want single sex spaces to remain single sex

A very very very small minority of men have made this decisions for you and I and all other women and sadly some women have supported them

Just shows you the balance of power even in a society as progressive as ours is so far from equal

Don’t try on clothes that are too small for you. Problem solved Op

In a shop? So men shouldn't be allowed in a shop in case a vulnerable woman is present?

This, I mean, what?! I swear with comments like "we want to be away from the male gaze" and this Those with such partners, get a grip and have some empathy or don't take him in the women's clothing section
where they're not even allowed in the same section where the women's clothes are some'd be happy with complete segregation away from the menz.
No ta

Not the shop, the changing room. But women are verbally, physically and sexually assaulted in public spaces as it is and as a woman I have felt very unsafe in some public spaces due to some men. It is a problem in public spaces as it is, so they should definitely not be allowed in spaces or places were women are particularly vulnerable.

. A man can't respectfully be outside the women's changing room and a decent man would understand that and not be there, he has no reason to be there.

Your (general, your) may be perfectly ok but, his presence in a female-specific area (like a changing room) normalises males being there. ALL males. That is very damaging and it's unnecessary.

Being outside of the whole changing area and being inside are 2 entirely different things.

Outside is the shop floor. You have no claim to that area. It isn't a woman only space. It's a public space.

Those with such partners, get a grip and have some empathy or don't take him in the women's clothing section.

And this is just batshit. Men aren't allowed in the whole women's clothing section?

Most department stores have main walkways that go through the various departments. So Debenhams have entrance doors on 4 sides and then you walk through the ground floor (women's department) to exit into the main shopping centre. So following the above rule no men are allowed to enter the store from the car park, walk through and exit into the shopping centre? You have lost the plot.

@Honeybee85

My DH always does that, so he can tell me his opinion about clothes that I am trying on. It never occurred to me that other women might feel uncomfortable about that t since all the changing happens inside the cubicle. And in my experience a shop assistant will come in and help out in there

The implications your post was that he dame in the changing area hence my retort. I was going to apologise if I'd misunderstood until you then started waffling on about your husband being a treat for other women, I lost any respect for you at that point. I think you've entirely missed the point...

By women's section I obviously meant any place where said men can see into the changing area. Was that not fairly clear?

Ffs I should proof read before I hit post, I love looking illiterate due to my laziness.

So you don’t mind you and other women going out of the changing room with your bare back to find opinions in full view of the whole shop.

Are people seriously saying men shouldn’t be in the seats just outside women’s changing room either?Most women I know would want their male partners and companions to sit there.

You have more patience than I do, Tilda, it was very clear to me but then I'm on the side of women's space for women as a default.