DP's strange choice of words

[supersop60]

A small thing, but it irritates me.
DP has an electric car that needs to be down the drive to charge. Last night I was home first, so put my petrol car down there, knowing he only has a short journey today.
This morning he says "Can you try to remember not to put your car down the drive?"
When I objected to the way he said it, he went out in a huff.
He also says things like "Did you manage to get some milk?"
Oh no, DP, I couldn't quite manage it, and I'll TRY to remember about the car but I might not
Is it me? or does this sound ok to you?

Sounds like he was pissed off and sarcastic. Bit of an overreaction imo maybe he'd had a rubbish day. Clearly he thought your little lady brain couldn't manage to remember where to park so it was perfectly reasonable to wonder if you had managed the very complicated bread purchase.

Could he manage not to sound like a prat OP?

I don’t see the issue I find myself using “Did you manage...?” When asking if people got chance to do something all the time. No dig or rudeness intended. YABU and oversensitive.

I would laugh! But only you know how it was meant!

I also think you are being over sensitive and your dh didn't mean any dig at you.

Don’t see a problem. Sounds like he gave you the benefit of having forgotten not that you knew but couldn’t be bothered.

DustyMaiden I don't forget that he needs to charge his car. He doesn't need to do it all the time. Sometimes it's nice for me not to have to walk 100 yards with my work bags, because the on-street parking is at a premium.
It was only me that saw the expression on his face.

I really don't see the problem here. Are you always this sensitive?

"did you manage to get some milk" is just a standard conversational phrase here. Sometimes I forget, sometimes dh does.

End of the week op.

Gets abit like that in my house sometimes.

In the grand scheme of things I'd say let it go

It depends really. If he sees it as your job to make sure that there is always milk in the fridge, rather than realising that you both consume milk and it's his responsibility as well, then he's a knob. But if the division of labour is currently 'established' that one of your tasks is to get milk, then, maybe it was an ok comment. But it does sound a bit reprimanding.

Not sure abou tthe car thing.......... How long is your drive!

Sounds as though you both irritate the hell out of each other. Reminds me very much of me and my now ex husband. It just gets worse.

The particular incidents aside though OP, if his habitual manner of talking to you is like you're his incompetent employee, then that is not OK!

The drive could take 3 cars, except that it's on a steep slope and there is a drop on either side. There is a flat bit next to the house.

Sounds OK to me but it clearly doesn't to you

If you were pissed off at the time op, why didn't you just say 'I didn't think you'd need to charge it today and I had a load of heavy shopping'? If your partner annoys you, stand up for yourself at the time, don't stew over it and vent on mn later!

I kind of get where you're coming from... I don't tend to do the washing up at home, and when I do DH says 'well done' and it's so patronising, it does wind me up. But I know he doesn't mean it to be so I just give him a sarcastic response back and move on.

"Did you manage" is less confrontational than "why didn't you get any". It sounds as if he was expecting a negative response but didn't want to appear too accusatory.

I don't see the problem with that phrase if I'm honest. I would probably get irritated by having to walk further each day but he has a good reason to use the drive though.

I would have said, "did you remember to get some milk?" but I can't see a problem with what he said. All a bit of a storm in a teacup really.

RedSheep73 at the time I said "Just ask me not to park there later" and he replied "I thought I was being nice"

Yes, I think adding the 'manage' mitigates the demand. 'Did you get some milk' sounds quite confrontational, but 'did you manage to get some milk' admits that you might have hit some snag - been too busy, got distracted, shop sold out of milk...

He was a bit brusque about the car, but maybe he genuinely thought you'd forgotten, unless you'd preempted by saying that you parked there as you didn't think he'd need to charge for today.

I think he was trying to be nice.

The ‘manage to get some milk’ thing suggests he knows you may have been too busy.

And I'd prefer "Did you get milk?"
I never think of myself as being sensitive - I always consider myself pretty resilient.
perhaps it's just DP

It sounds like he allow himself to be impatient/sarcastic with you as you're his partner. I've had to tell my DP to go out of his way (and I've told myself this too) to be nice to me when something isn't exactly how he/ or I would like it. I also had to tell him about the expressions on his face :) ..I said if he'd made faces like that when i first met him, I'd have walked away . . :) A bit of laying down some rules re how we speak to each other works sometimes - good luck OP!