To go on holiday and miss uncles funeral?

[sadaboutlife]

My uncle passed away suddenly last week,
He is being cremated next Saturday at 3pm,no wake as my cousin doesn't want one.
I'm due to go on holiday on Friday.
I honestly don't know what to do.
My family are saying that my uncle wouldn't want you to miss out but I'm thinking am I a bad person if I miss it.
I was going to go to the local church the day before and light some candles and write a message to be read out at the service.
My uncle wasn't religious in the slightest and loved having a good party and fun.
Help me out guys ?
What do I do ?

I think that I would go on the holiday. He would hate you to miss it.
You'll feel bad about it, but your idea of paying respects another way is nice.
Or have a special moment while you're away.
Sorry for your loss.

Go on holiday. See it as a way of honouring your fun loving uncle. Do something on his memory when you are away. You can't change the fact that he has died by not going and your family seem happy for you to go.

In that situation, unless someone such as your Mother, needs you for support, you go on holiday.

I'm having to miss funerals because I'm babysitting for people (one being my DD) attending.

A holiday is a good enough reason to not attend.

Go on holiday!

I wouldn’t miss a funeral of an uncle for a holiday but every family is different. Sorry for your loss

Go to the funeral.
I think it will play on your conscience if you miss it.
At the same time, if you do go on holiday, don't sweat it. You are NOT a bad person in the least and everyone sounds very understanding. It's a really tough one.
See if you can try to attend the funeral though first. If it's too complicated to back out of the holiday, then there's your decision made for you.
Condolences.

Go on holiday. You and your family know what your uncle would have wanted you to do, so maybe visit after?

I think you should go on holiday

Go on holiday.

I would definitely go on holiday. The plans you have made to say goodbye in your own way sound lovely. If you've had a good relationship throughout his life the memories won't be wiped out by missing an hour's service when your uncle wasn't even religious.
Sorry for your loss.

I was in the same position a couple of years back despite being very close to the family member and I kept the holiday (it was long haul, special trip). I felt guilty for a while but parents reassured me that the deceased would have hated it if I’d cancelled my plans. And knowing the person well I’d agree. On the day of the funeral I went off for an hour or so on my own and paid my own private respects. I was somewhere really vast and beautiful and I shed a tear, I actually preferred paying my respects privately like that as I am very very uncomfortable with ‘communal grieving’. I have been to funerals since and been grateful I was away for the one in question.

The exception might be if it was a very very small funeral (nothing makes me sadder than hardly anyone at a funeral) and my absence in terms of numbers would really be felt. Or of course, very immediate family.

Enjoy your holiday

You go to a funeral for the living not the dead.

In my family I could not and would not miss this funeral. My parents and other aunts and uncles would need the support.

What would your uncle want you to do....?

Your plans are absolutely fine and not at all disrespectful. I would just ensure I spent some time with my cousin over the coming week in your shoes. Sorry for your loss.

Go to the funeral. Holidays can be rebooked. Funerals can't. I missed my aunts a few years ago as I was on holiday when everything happened and I still dwell on it now.

Sorry for your loss

My uncle was my late mums brother.
I'm not really close to my cousin and he's uncle and cousins from his mums side (he is close too ) will be there.
My dad will be going but my dad is only going out of respect not because they were close etc...
My aunt is in Australia and has told me to go on holiday as well as my dad.
I don't know anyone else going to the funeral which is the reason I'm thinking about going on holiday and remembering him my way.

Go on holiday- honestly if all your family are saying it's fine you should go.

I have lots of aunts and uncles and I don't speak or see any of them so to me an uncle is not a close relative, but I understand to others they can be. But if your family think you should go, you should. A funeral is one day, you can pay your respects another day.

Holiday. If it was my funeral I would want you to go on holiday.

I'd go on the holiday and I wouldn't feel guilty. Send flowers or whatever is appropriate.

My sister was very close to our Nana, she passed away while I was on holiday and the funeral was when my sister was away on holiday. My Nana wouldn’t have wanted her to cancel her holiday and my mum had me and our dad there for support. I would go x

When my father died, a cousin who was fairly close was going on holiday. None of us had any hesitation in telling her she should continue with her holiday and my dad would have been mortified if she'd put it off for his funeral. Everyone who attended fully understood.

Sorry for your loss. If your family aunt and cousin say go on holiday and there will be no hard feelings or awkwardness after then go on holiday x

Go on holiday. You're not going to 'useful' there for anyone if you're not close to them. There's no rule to say you have to go to someone's funeral - even if they're close. Send flowers, light a candle. Go on holiday.

Life is too short. No way would he want you to miss a holiday for a funeral.