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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask your worst MIL stories

154 replies

Betty1119 · 01/11/2019 22:09

My MIL is truly something else!
She really is an evil piece of work and I have no contact with her now and yet she still manages to cause problems!
Please cheer me up with your worst MIL tales because I've seriously lost the restraint not to drop a house on the wicked witch!

OP posts:
ssd · 01/11/2019 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ssd · 01/11/2019 22:20

Sorry. That was rude. But I'm just sick of seeing MIL s being bashed on here all the time.

Stonerosie67 · 01/11/2019 22:21

Well said ssd

Howlovely · 01/11/2019 22:22

@ssd - should you provide a list of things you don't mind people having issues with and complaining about on an anonymous internet forum?

Norfolkenchancemate · 01/11/2019 22:22

@ssd have mine for a few months you'll be bashing her with a stick

Original poster
Betty1119 · 01/11/2019 22:24

Assuming you have a nice normal one? My MIL said she will be glad when I'm dead because then my DC (including a newborn) will have a chance with a nice mummy (her)

OP posts:
Norfolkenchancemate · 01/11/2019 22:27

Mine bought us a holiday she knew we couldn't go on, term time, for Christmas three years running, and when we obvs said we couldn't go she gave it to my BIL no hesitation and no replacement gift, so for three years on the bounce BIL and SIL and their kids have had whatever they've asked for for Christmas from her, plus the holiday, we've never asked for nor been asked about, that was our Christmas present. Then the one year I say oh we'll go for the Friday to Monday and come home for school, she told me we couldn't do that. So she buys a gift she knows we won't use, forbids us to semi use it, and then gifts it to my BIL. I've told my husband if she does the same this year I'm going to give it to my parents and she can get to fuck.

Bearfrills · 01/11/2019 22:35

You see lots of "MIL bashing" threads on MM because it's a self-respecting sample. The majority of people have nice, normal relationships with their in-laws and therefore have no need to post on MN to seek advice, vent, or share stories whereas people with awful in-laws are far more likely to post about them - awful in-law threads then seem very common.

FWIW my own MIL is so awful that DH cut off contact with her before I did because I wanted to give her a chance and wanted her to have a relationship with the DC, he won't even refer to her as his mother and calls her "that woman". I could share stories but I'd be here all night and I try not to dwell on the many shitty things she's done over the years.

Bearfrills · 01/11/2019 22:36

MN and self-selecting

Alwaysoverthinkingit34 · 01/11/2019 22:38

Mine is an emotional vampire. Draining to be in the same room with her. Will tell you stories about people you don’t know “so and so’s sons friends girlfriend grand father died today, I’m so upset, we should go to funeral”. She doesn’t even know the people but will take any negative thing someone else is going through to make it about her.

Threatened to commit suicide whilst in a bad financial place and we helped her out to the tune of £12000 but she insists it was only £3000 and refuses to pay us back. Total write off. Totally manipulated me. Brought drama into my life that I’ve only ever seen on soap operas and made my life stressful the last 4 years. Low contact now even though she lives next door ! (She kept moving closer and closer to us! So we are now selling and buying a new house a few towns over lol) my dp also thinks she’s crazy.

aweedropofsancerre · 01/11/2019 22:39

My MIL recently told my 15yr old and 12 yr old that she was disappointed in them because they didn’t get up at 7am to wave there father off , she told them he could die in surgery and there life will never be the same as they will have no money....

Blippolbblopp · 01/11/2019 22:42

My ex MIL told her abusive son to leave me on my own for a few weeks with the babies so i begged him for his help ( newborn and 2.6 year old ) I had prenatal depression and a traumatic birth. He wasnt there for birth of our youngest either.

( we had seperate houses because he couldnt keep his hands to himself and i didnt want my babies seeing it. It just took me a long time to find the strength to properly leave him )

I have a court order in place after he was found guilty of assaulting me and he isnt allowed to contact me or the children.

Ex MIL got in touch with me about 8 months ago to see the children ( had no contact for 2 years ) and im not going to lie i took great pleasure in telling her i hadnt forgotten what she said to exP and i hadnt begged for her help yet

The whole experience has made me very wary of getting to know now DP's family

AlmostAlwyn · 01/11/2019 22:43

@Bearfrills my husband no longer has contact with his dad and usually calls him (if he has to refer to him) as his "former father", and occasionally as his "late father" Grin

slipperywhensparticus · 01/11/2019 22:44

Mine nearly landed her first ever grandson in hospital and tried giving a milk intolerant child chocolate constantly reheated the food in the microwave because of "germs" and burnt my sons mouth because of it (I was not there his dad was...supervising)

Quite frankly she is batshit crazy but the kids love her she still sees them but the eldest supervises the youngest food as youngest has special needs and wouldn't recognize volcanic hot food

She also has OCD I have sympathy but when she burnt my child because of her germ phobic ways I got nasty and told her she could either not cook hot food for them get medication and help or not see them so grandad took over the cooking I freely admit I was wrong for how i said it but she BURNT MY CHILD Blush

Original poster
Betty1119 · 01/11/2019 22:48

Wow, these are so upsetting. What the hell is wrong with some MILs?
Love the saying emotional vampire!
Mine is always the victim - she causes a complete shitstorm and then says she won't get involved and then blames everyone else and now blames the menopause and her 'depression' for her outbursts.

OP posts:
CoffeeBeansGalore · 01/11/2019 22:56

My MIL was staring at our then 4 month old ds2 & announced "well I don't know who she looks like but it's none of mine"! (Dh is the dad 🙄) My dh was her baby boy & I wasn't good enough for him. I was forever getting snide remarks when he wasn't in the room & eventually I refused to visit.

Nannyamc · 01/11/2019 23:08

OMG...how could anyone treat you like this ....
I had an amazing mil who treated me as her own
My dil know I am always there if they need anything be it childcare practical or financial assistance..life is very short and if you love your gc you must always help out

tillytrotter1 · 01/11/2019 23:10

Sorry. That was rude. But I'm just sick of seeing MIL s being bashed on here all the time.

Maybe there needs to be a DIL-bashing thread! Remember in all these MIL horror stories you're only getting one version, the truth's probably somewhere nearer the middle.

Singlenotsingle · 01/11/2019 23:12

Halo some MILs are lovely Halo

BetLynchWhatCanIGetYouPet · 01/11/2019 23:14

My xmil was a horror, very controlling, manipulative, foolish enough to think I didn't read her like a book but I do think the answer is to become more resilient, dialogue calmly, to just nod and smile and then do exactly what you intended to do anyway. None of which I successfully managed when I was with her son. But hey.

BetLynchWhatCanIGetYouPet · 01/11/2019 23:15

A DIL bashing thread would be interesting!

MereDintofPandiculation · 01/11/2019 23:21

Sorry. That was rude. But I'm just sick of seeing MIL s being bashed on here all the time. Yes, there's enough threads criticising older people in general and MILs in particular without people deliberately starting threads for the purpose.

And as a mother of boys it's really depressing.You get the feeling that whatever you do you are not going to be accepted as part of the extended family. You are an unfortunate appendage of your DS. tolerated only as an unpaid childminder, and even then you have to make sure that your grandchild doesn't do, see or eat anything new and deprive his mother of a "first".

Singlenotsingle · 01/11/2019 23:25

Not all DILs are that precious. I think in general they know that MIL has good intentions and goodwill.

Anonmummyoftwo · 01/11/2019 23:28

Ex mil defended her son when he was off his head on drugs and locked me in the house with my two dc who were one and 5 weeks he attacked me and neighbours had to call the police. Told people i made it all up. Tried to guilt me into taking him back by telling me he was going to kill himself and would be my fault. Even went as far as saying he was missing when he was sat next to her. Before all that she would give him money to buy drugs knowing he stole off me to pay her back. Tried to talk me into giving him sole custody of one of my dc so he could get benefits for being a single parent and tried to justify by saying because i was on benefits if he had one of the dc for himself it would mean more money from benefits, never mind that he wasnt living with me he could get a bloody job and if i did do that i would of lost one of my dc because i was in the middle of secretly moving away from his family and back near mine. That was after he attacked me i threw him out but they lived a few streets up and she would bring him down all the time and sit outside my house in the car. Also when he was out on bail for that attack she helped him break his bail by taking him to my house to sit outside. Shes also rang social services on me god knows how many times and said iv drug problems all because i wouldnt take her abussive son back. He was 25 when i left and a week later started sleeping with a 15 year old girl and his mum thought that was fine. Theres alot more shes did aswell

Greenleafer19 · 01/11/2019 23:30

My mother in law has always been terribly horrible to me (example, she was rude to me once so I was rude back, she then offered DH money to give to me to leave our house which we have a joint mortgage on saying 'we don't like her so get rid'. I always stuck up for myself as she is a complete hypocrite so she was always weary about pickin fights however recently FIL was taken to hospital with suspected stroke, MIL didn't go in ambulance with him because she 'wasn't dressed' and he was in hospital for 4 days (it wasn't a stroke but a minor heart issue) and no one went to see him in hospital apart from my DH. No one told DH when FIL was home from hospital and when he found out, he visited and FIL told him MIL was not speaking to either of them because MIL thinks my DH loves his father more than her because he visited him in hospital. I think that was a turning point for DH. He finally realised how poisonius she was after years of issues! Feel sorry for my FIL!