AIBU to ask your worst MIL stories

[Betty1119]

My MIL is truly something else!
She really is an evil piece of work and I have no contact with her now and yet she still manages to cause problems!
Please cheer me up with your worst MIL tales because I've seriously lost the restraint not to drop a house on the wicked witch!

My MiL tried to get overly involved in the birth of the first dc.
Sorry if you’re eating breakfast! I had a heavy show with what I thought was more blood than blood streaked, so Dh and I went to the maternity unit for a check. Mil then phoned the hospital several times asking for updates, which they didn’t give, even though she phoned dh and he told her we were just on the monitor then coming home.

We were told to go home, and just wait for things to start. MiL decided she didn’t want to wait, so the next day phoned the labour ward and told them that my waters had broken but I didn’t want to go in. So they phoned me and asked me to come along as soon as. I went in thinking it was a follow on check or something. It was a complete waste of everyone’s time. I got home then mil told me off for ruining her plan. She thought they would just induce me.

My MIL is a lovely, gentle women who despite a lifetime of immense suffering has always been supportive and never judgemental - never a cross word between us in over 20 yrs. And now she’s dying and has very little time left.

I'm sorry to hear that Toorahtoorahaye, I hope her passing is peaceful and that you find comfort in happy memories of her.

I find it interesting that these abusive MIL’s always seem to have such perfect DIL’s who do no wrong.

MIL, to me while I was pregnant with DC2: "You're evil and you need to watch your back!"

Screamed at me outside my house all because DB had taken DC1 out for an hour or so to let me throw up in peace (morning sickness). It wasn't planned he just offered so I accepted but she thought it was unfair and that I should have asked her to take DC1 so came to my house specifically to shout at me about it.

I lost the baby the following week, second trimester mmc, and a week after that was a family party. When we got there she had told everyone what had happened, she had also told them that I was in denial about it, that I wouldn't face up to my grief, and that I needed help so for the entire party I had various people trying to help me "open up" including one of MILs friends who followed me around and would talk about nothing but miscarriages and pregnancy loss.

I don't claim to be perfect but I have not done anything deserving of the level of hatred shown towards me by MIL. That's just one incident, I have literally hundreds more including a cheery Christmas one where she told me she was so glad SIL was pregnant so that she could FINALLY be a grandmother and wouldn't my baby have been due around now...? Yup. Totes brought it on myself.

I know I'm lucky with my MIL (&FIL). They have treated me like a daughter for the last 20+ years but then I have always included them and actually do more for them then any of their 3 sons or other DILs but that's my choice.
They have 2 other DILs hwo are very different but they treat them with respect as their sons choose partners but I know one dil in particular has really hurt their feelings over the years but they would never say anything.

I can't really believe people are on here moaning about this thread when most of the stories are horrific and if it was another family member I'm sure those same posters defending mils would say police or leave.

Also you don't have to be perfect to complain about abuse and why would anyone want to give an abusive person access to their children? Even if it's supervised do you think they couldn't so any damage? I'd absolutely go NC and that would mean my kids as well. It's a parents job to protect their kids not worry about the GP's feelings, that should have been something they thought about first!

My MIL took great pleasure in telling me that my engagement ring originally belonged to her grandmother who had died in childbirth. When I was 7 months pregnant and suffering from pregnancy anxiety.

One of countless little digs with just enough plausible deniability, she makes digs every time we see her. It's depressing and exhausting.

Mine physically attacked me when I was 7 months pregnant. Just one incident out of loads. I could write a book

It’s hard with my MIL - she’s completely in denial about her behaviour and is constantly excused by the extended family “oh, you know what she’s like”. I’m not at all popular as I call her out on her bullshit all the time, she’s nothing like my own mum in terms of character and it’s a real shock to realise that my DW had such an awful childhood.

DW has many, many good reasons to hate her mother and as her wife I will back her 100%

It usually (bar MH issues) takes two to tango.

What happened to bertrandrussel?

@Bearfrills I am just open mouthed at how badly your MIL treated you. How awful, I'm so sorry.

Where was your DH when she was saying these things?

The worst post I saw from a group of DILs on here, was a discussion about gas lighting a poster's MIL to make her think she had dementia.
Yes, I reported it and forwarded it to the Alzheimer's Society.
The pps who contribute to these hate fest threads are probably not very nice people themselves.

The thread asks for the 'worst MIL stories' not sure how that makes us not very nice people? We have shared stories and some are horrendous, no different to people putting comments up about abusive relationships or anything else.

They are an excuse for a hate fest, directed at older women. It would be the same if a poster asked for stories about step mothers or step children.It cannot be healthy to indulge in such hate provoking threads.

Mumsnet is a support group for... Mums.

Over a decade ago, the biggest threat to my life, my mental health, my children's health, emotionally and physically was my Mil.

She put me at risk, by dint by babies at risk.
She nearly broke up my family. I didn't have mumsnet back then I had to deal with these alone, thinking it was all personal to me and I couldn't understand what I had done.

I included her after I found out I was pregnant, I tried to include her in the build up and excitement and non of the responses I received ever made sense to me.

Now, thanks to mumsnet I see it was simply well trodden path of very problem Mil whose bitter and jealous.

There are many wondeful mils out there. We do get threads... My wondeful Mil... We also learn what a good Mil is... Not hard really...

If I had mumsnet when I was literally under mils direct attack it would have saved me much anguish, heart ache etc

Where was your DH when she was saying these things?

He was telling her to stop it and sticking up for me but she took this as evidence of him being under my control. That's not her son talking, that's the Puppet Master

He cut contact with her a whole two years before I did. I persisted because I thought she could change and after briefly going NC for six months I even gave her a second chance and resumed contact to try give her the opportunity to have a relationship with the DC. She did not change and she treated the DC exactly how she treated DH and I. Ironically I have never said she couldn't see them. I ended up telling her straight that it was make or break time, I wasn't going to let her behave that way with the children and she needed to decide what sort of presence she wanted in their lives. She obviously chose no presence because she hasn't seen them since then, no attempt to make contact, and hasn't even met DC3 or DC4.

I know im not perfect, but i always tried to treat exMIL with respect, and welcomed her into our home, even when things were difficult between us.

Mrs muddles, so gransnet is excuse to attack dils is it??. There are plenty of estranged gp over there...

Bear frills.

You can't win can you. That's what we had too, the puppet master... He's not speaking for himself

@SunnyupLands, I never mentioned Gransnet. I am not a member.
I don't like hate fests directed at any group, whether that be MILs, DIls, Stepmums, Stepchildren etc
In my opinion, it is never healthy to spread hate and vitriol

Just put it this way. If I had met my MIL before I fell in love with my dh , I would not have married him. He deliberately kept me away from her because he was worried that I would leave him if I met her before we got serious
She was truly a vile person and I eventually went NC and she wasn’t allowed to see my dc.
I will just give two examples of what she did.
She rang up my workplace and spoke to my boss to complain about me.
She stole my diary and rang up my friends and relatives to complain about me.
The list is endless. I still don’t know what I am supposed to have done to warrant such treatment After seven years of this I cut her off

She was so vile, that her own children were relieved when she passed away
All those who complain about MIIL threads should thank their lucky stars that they didn’t have my MIL in their lives

Mumsnet is a support group for... Mums. Mothers of sons are also Mums. And threads like this are anything but supportive if you know you are a future MIL. Yes, there are awful MILs. (There are awful DMs and DILs too). But there are also MILs who are trying to be supportive and interested and are instead branded as "interfering" and "controlling", and MILs who are trying hard not to be interfering and controlling who are claimed to "have no interest in their grandchildren" with people suggesting that DIL and her family should have nothing to do with them and that they should get their "just desserts" by being abandoned should they become old and frail.

I really can’t understand why people at trying to police MIL threads.
The OP asked for the worst MIL stories and posters responded It is disingenuous to suggest that this is some sort of campaign against mother in laws.
As others have said when posters have written about abusive partners and parents, you rarely get other posters suggesting that they are at fault too. However, in MIL threads the DIL must be doing something wrong to warrant such behaviour.

The key to any relationship is to adopt "don't be a dick" as your mantra and "if something is bothering you, talk about it (but don't be a dick over it)" as your back-up. Both of these solve most problems before they even start.

However there really are people in this world who will be foul no matter how you treat them in return and it is not wrong to protect yourself and your children by withdrawing from those people.

The OP asked for the worst MIL stories and posters responded It is disingenuous to suggest that this is some sort of campaign against mother in laws. At the moment there are 3 other critical of MIL threads in the first page of AIBU. Not sure why the OP needs another thread to tell her she is not alone in having MIL problems.