AIBU to ask your worst MIL stories

[Betty1119]

My MIL is truly something else!
She really is an evil piece of work and I have no contact with her now and yet she still manages to cause problems!
Please cheer me up with your worst MIL tales because I've seriously lost the restraint not to drop a house on the wicked witch!

@Blippolbblopp

My ex MIL told her abusive son to leave me on my own for a few weeks with the babies so i begged him for his help ( newborn and 2.6 year old ) I had prenatal depression and a traumatic birth. He wasnt there for birth of our youngest either.

( we had seperate houses because he couldnt keep his hands to himself and i didnt want my babies seeing it. It just took me a long time to find the strength to properly leave him )

I have a court order in place after he was found guilty of assaulting me and he isnt allowed to contact me or the children.

Ex MIL got in touch with me about 8 months ago to see the children ( had no contact for 2 years ) and im not going to lie i took great pleasure in telling her i hadnt forgotten what she said to exP and i hadnt begged for her help yet

The whole experience has made me very wary of getting to know now DP's family

The nerve of this woman to even think of asking to see the kids!! Seriously!

in my extended family the mother of a distant relative was incensed that he had left his first wife (who she would gossip with regularly and who had a very inappropriate relationship with her husband). When he went on to meet the woman he went on to marry, she took it on herself to call that womans employer and everyone else in that business in the area to tell them the woman was a home wrecking slut and should never been given the time of day. And then was surprised when her son and his wife did not want to have a close relationship with her.

In hospital with newborn baby, husband home with toddler. Husband tells his parents new baby's name. Toddler is named after grandparent on his side, baby named after grandparent on mine. In both cases it is the middle names that are family names. MIL evidently doesn't like name. Starts texting me asking what are back up names for baby. Texting my mum all sorts of vitriol about name. Calling my husband wanting to "discuss name". Absolutely off her rocker. When told by my husband she was out of order blocked us all and told us she was unhappy with the relationship with us. All because of a name that meant (means) so much to me. All smoothed over (brushed under carpet) now but I'll never forget it and I'll never see her the same way.

Op I've written About my in laws many a time in here asking for help and mostly I got it.
I don't know how I would have survived them without mn because when it started, I really did take it personally. I didn't realise nearly every single thing she said it did has literally been said and done by a billion mils of her "type".

[quote Daddystilllost]@Blippolbblopp Regardless of what she said, you cannot deprive your kids of a grandmother just because she said something nasty about you! You have no right.
My Mum did & said some abhorrent things to me but she is my daughter's only grandparent and is a very bloody good one! She's a far better grandmother than she was a Mother. It's called learning from your mistakes.
This is not about you. There is no harm in allowing Supervised contact for a while to test the waters and see how she is with them. There are many ways of enabling contact and allowing them to have a great relationship whilst still protecting them from their abusive father. [/quote]
You have every right to decide who has a relationship with your children.

@Pantsinthewash

Unpleasant zombie thread

Which you’re merrily perpetuate? 🤣

She said I was the fattest and ugliest gf my DH had ever had. 😬

My MIL spent the weekend of my baby's funeral (after a stillbirth) complaining about how we wouldn't let her stay in the living room of our one bedroom apartment (I didn't want any visitors staying with us) so she'd had to pay for an Airbnb. I don't think I can ever forget or forgive her for it.

ZOMBIE (Hallowe'en thread)

MIL waltzing around her house literally in her knickers one time when I went round to visit 😳 Coming to visit us and drinking a whole bottle of Baileys, half a bottle of Malibu and half a bottle of wine in one night and then complained we wouldn’t leave our daughter with her for the weekend. Discussing how amazing her sex life was with her new boyfriend, who happened to be her 26 year old nephew 🤮

@Betty1119

Wow, these are so upsetting. What the hell is wrong with some MILs? Love the saying emotional vampire! Mine is always the victim - she causes a complete shitstorm and then says she won't get involved and then blames everyone else and now blames the menopause and her 'depression' for her outbursts.

These MILs are also mothers, you do realise that.

Them
Being MILs doesn't suddenly make them awful, just as getting married doesn't instantly make you a nasty DIL.

This is a horrible thread.

It's like becoming a MILis some sort of chants of life that alters a persons personality.

Remember, you may be a MIL one day, will that change you?

Mine came to visit when we returned from our honeymoon. With all her things in bags. Stayed with us for over a year, sporadic rent and bills, implying that I was filthy to all and sundry, despite me finding tea and coffee cups in her room with floating islands of mould, and returning from a work trip to a smell of death to discover she’d left a pan she’d cooked porkchops in in the oven - for two weeks - in the summer time! 🤮🤮🤮 Then began the pattern of moving in with dodgy blokes and phoning for midnight rescues. (Financial and physical.) My DH fell for it every time. I lost my shit about that when I was pregnant and said it wasn’t happening any more. She moved many hours away, closer to BIL (who is far less gullible) and promptly remarried. She has almost entirely changed her history to suit the narrative of her new family. She is now outspokenly right wing, racist and homophobic. (Everything I don’t want near my kids!) She came to visit about six years ago, after we’d been living overseas for nine years (so she had barely even met the two youngest kids). She called my eldest DD (then almost 13) a slut, because she had spent her pocket money on an eyeshadow palette and was playing with it. She then sent my B/G twins 11th birthday presents. DS received a ziplock bag full of dirty, secondhand fake Lego and $5.00 in a card that said “Stop being nasty to your sister. You need to learn not to be so naughty.” (For reference, he’s the most chilled of the lot, and a really amenable kid. He’s really close to his sister, so he was stunned and hurt when he read that.) DD2 received a big box full of makeup (how ironic) and jewellery tat and $50.00 and a very flowery card commenting about how she would always be her favourite because she was sweet (like her) and she looked (like her), etc. (DD2 burst into tears and immediately offered to split the money.) Also, both of my daughters look like me, not monster in law. All three kids are now late teens and they loathe her. Her latest is to tell DH that she has been leaving me messages and texting me for years, but I never return them. I have told him that A) I’m going to jam his rose-coloured glasses down his neck if he keeps believing this shit from her, and B) Surely it’s in his best interests if I don’t talk to her anyway - it might be about time I share my feelings about grandmothers that play favourites and call their grandkids names like “slut.” (Can even pull out some really personal home truths she has shared about herself if necessary.)

Mine (now thankfully), ex MiL had many "moments", but there are 2 that I will never forgive her for.

1. after 3 LTM's and a stillborn (all boys), I gave birth to a healthy DD, MiL's first words...." oh, another granddaughter, shame because I've got 3 already and I really wanted a grandson", and 2)....she served an eviction notice (me and ExH lived in, and paid rent on, one of the properties she owned), 3 days after I found out he was having an affair because "well they will need somewhere to live and you and GD will be able to get a council house somewhere else". I had 6 weeks to sort stuff out. The fact that me and her own GD could be homeless worried her not a jot.

@HereToRant start a new thread, maybe in relationships.

This is lighthearted - it doesn't worry me at all, but here is mine.

A few years ago MIL and FIL came for a few days over Xmas. They were meant to come on 23 Dec but she's often late and changes plans and ended up turning up on Xmas Day in time for dinner. Obviously I'd got special things in for them leading up to Xmas and the DCs were a bit disappointed (3 days of "when will nan be here?").

We sat down to Xmas dinner which I'd done from scratch and really pushed the boat out for and she said "OH! Didn't [DH name] tell you?" I said "Tell me what?" and she said "That's I'm strict vegetarian now I can't eat the meat or Yorkshires or the roast potatoes". I asked her when she became vegetarian as I had no idea and she replied breezily "On 22nd December" like I was supposed to have somehow known. DH had no idea, she hadn't mentioned it.

DH told her to either eat her dinner or fix herself something in the kitchen. It was a horrible atmosphere.. as she huffily got something else in the kitchen complaining I'd left "meat bits everywhere" (not quite true, but obviously there was meat/gravy etc in the kitchen).

I wish I had a better relationship with mine. I just can't, though.

I do feel bad that I push her away, but she's really hard work and difficult.

I'd love a MIL that I could meet for coffee or go shopping with.

I hope I'm not an awful DIL. I don't stop her seeing my son or anything. She's here all the bloody time. I just don't really involve her in my life or talk to her on a personal level. It's more pleasantries.

My mil was (at one point in time) a nightmare. She has just divorced fil (for good reason) was stressed out to hell, was emotionally all over DH and I was in a bad place work wise (stressed out to hell). Funnily enough we butted heads.

Now though things are calmer. She’s in a good place. As am I. She’s supportive of me and DH and the dc. She is a wonderfully generous nanny to the dc (even though she lives in nz and us in the Uk).

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I can see now that the stresses for both of us were there. At the time I hated her.

A ZOMBIE thread of women bashing other women. What's not to love?

Happy Halloween everyone!

[quote Daddystilllost]@Blippolbblopp Regardless of what she said, you cannot deprive your kids of a grandmother just because she said something nasty about you! You have no right.
My Mum did & said some abhorrent things to me but she is my daughter's only grandparent and is a very bloody good one! She's a far better grandmother than she was a Mother. It's called learning from your mistakes.
This is not about you. There is no harm in allowing Supervised contact for a while to test the waters and see how she is with them. There are many ways of enabling contact and allowing them to have a great relationship whilst still protecting them from their abusive father. [/quote]
Lol, why?

Why exactly would I take chances with nasty people? Why do I owe them a relationship with my kids? Why would I risk sending my kids to people who proved themselves several times?

@Toorahtoorahaye

My MIL is a lovely, gentle women who despite a lifetime of immense suffering has always been supportive and never judgemental - never a cross word between us in over 20 yrs. And now she’s dying and has very little time left.

What a lovely post! Love to your MIL. And deep respect too.

Why are people so upset about this thread? Some people do genuinely have vile, unpleasant people as their Mother in Law, it's quite common. All the posters saying "There's two sides to every story" yes, but not sure how much someone's behaviour contributes to being physically attacked or verbally threatened, as some of the posters here have been.

Your husband should step in - well, my sly old MIL is very good at covering her tracks and wouldn't dream of showing her colours in front of him.

As for the "You will have DILs one day so watch out" nonsense - yes, hopefully I will have DILs. But I have learned from the Master exactly how not to behave as a MIL so I think I'll be ok.

If this thread is upsetting you, just move on.

do you wish she was? i certainly would if i were you, avoid her at all costs!!! my mil also told me to go to hell but if i brought that up she would deny it and say what are you talking about no i never, honestly i hate mine with endless reasons and evidence

@TillyTopper a similar situation but happens all the bloody time and now i basically starve myself just to avoid her cooking when i’m over at hers. why should i if she doesn’t want to eat mine. not to brag but my cooking is certainly better than hers she just never gives it a chance which is her loss. only my sil tries it when i bring some over, obviously mil has to interrogate her with questions asking her “is it nice” in her own mother tongue language (which i dont speak but still understand) while i’m right there. honestly she has her doubts about me and hates everything that associates with me except my 2 children of course which she slyly always tries to take away from me or make them go against me by making them choose between her or me. like who does that. i bloody hate her i never wish bad on anyone else but her. sorry not sorry for this rant

The morning of my wedding I overheard her telling my DH that he didn't have to marry me as I wasn't pregnant and that she'd quite happily tell me it was off

Whispered to the Health Visitor that I had PND and really couldn't cope after the birth of my 2nd child, HV replied that I was perfectly fine

On several occasions had made remarks about my DD's weight/bust/bottom (DD doesn't bother seeing her now)

Asked my DS if he was 'queer' when he said he didn't have a GF at the time

After Grenfell told me 'well at least there's less of them in the country now'

She is truly vile, and I can't fucking stand the old mingebag