AIBU to ask your worst MIL stories

[Betty1119]

My MIL is truly something else!
She really is an evil piece of work and I have no contact with her now and yet she still manages to cause problems!
Please cheer me up with your worst MIL tales because I've seriously lost the restraint not to drop a house on the wicked witch!

These sort of threads are excusable when an OP has a specific issue and is asking for advice.
General bashing threads like this are not pleasant.

Mere I don't know why your so bothered.

There are of course awful dils out there.
And as for mothers of sons, there are plenty who have excellent relationships with their sons and their gc and wives.
They will be the ones who don't go crazy when their son meets someone, they treat their sons like adults, they don't feel they own thier time, they won't be traipse over boundaries or do many of the awful things or say the horrific things mentioned on this thread.

It's not hard to be kind, supportive and nice.

@sunnyupLands thank you - it's nice not to know that I'm the only one going through this.
And I'm so sorry to those of you with such horrendous stories - it helps to know I'm doing the right thing now by cutting her out entirely. Nobody has the right to make you unhappy, family or not! You wouldn't allow a stranger, work colleague to treat you like that so why is a MIL any different. It's her loss, she hasn't met her one GC and the older one doesn't even recognise her now

This isn't near enough the worst thing she's ever done. But posting about that would make it to outing as it was in the papers. Whole In-laws family was sat around a table.
MIL
Me
DH
DS (infant)
BIL & His wife
Her 2 children
And their shared child

Me and SILs daughter were just sticking our tongues out at each other.
Nothing bad. Just everyone trying to keep the little kids occupied until food arrived.

Mil shouts out (because the bitch doesn't have a level below bellow) to DN 'Some man is going to love that long tongue when you're older' and cackled to herself.
When no one reacted and just carried on their conversations hoping she'd get the ducking hint she said it again.

I just looked at her and said stop.
DN must've been around 5ish.

That doesn't even come into the top 5 of her worst transgressions. But I've never forgotten it.

Mine is generally lovely, but her worst was grumbling to DH that I was disturbing her rest and recovery from flu by inconsiderately coughing under her bedroom window. She was staying at our house at the time. She gave everyone her flu. I got it last. I was under her window because that's where the clothesline was. I was hanging out her washing.

She was occupying the babies' room. They were sleeping in with us in cribs and waking in the night again. She stayed holed up in bed till nearly noon the rest of her stay while I was crying with sheer exhaustion "to give you the house to yourself."

When she left I found her stash of discarded sweetie wrappers under the bed along with the abandoned Christmas presents we'd given her. 🙄

And as a mother of boys it's really depressing.

why?

There are threads on here because people need to vent.

All the idiots laughing about "precious" new mothers who want a few days of privacy will end up being in the MIL from hell group.. normal human beings show a bit of respect and that makes a huge difference.

All the idiots laughing about "chocolate is not heroin" when someone is trying to give a healthy diet to their babies.

I mean, respect other people's choices and needs, be supportive and you will be absolutely fine. You can tell from so many threads WHO are the MIL from hell on here (or will or would be), even if they claim they are "positively adored" by their DIL. Yeah, right

MIL told me that I was a bad parent for allowing my DS to have a go at activities that he would fail at because I was deliberately setting him up to fail. I disagreed and she reduced me to tears. Then told me I was a silly little girl (48 at the time). I no longer engage with her when she “starts”.
She is a classic narcissist and it has helped my DH tremendously having therapy after realising this. He is one of 4 sons but is the scapegoat so has always had a poor relationship with her, she would single him out by making sure everyone could see how displeased she was with him. Christmas was always awful, she would make a massive deal about the presents she gave to each son making sure we all knew how much they had cost then give DH a cheap sweatshirt from , she would spend far more money on my gift than her own sons.
We are pretty much NC which has saved our own relationship. DS gets on with his GM but does complain that she is always comparing his slightly younger cousin to him. DS is very able academically but also very sporty. GM can’t understand how a child who can’t draw trees can be classified as gifted, of course cousin is an expert tree artist 🤣

My MIL said 'oh dear' when we told her I was pregnant. She also claims I don't welcome her (which meant that I stopped making any effort as I used to make quite a lot). She loves to play the victim. Not just with me but also with her other DIL.

I am LC. DH takes care of his side of the family and I take care of mine.

I wish I had a normal decent mil, I get quite teary actually wishing ours had been nice, so my mil raped her sons as children . My dp told me mil was to have no contact with any of our children but didn't tell me why he just said as social services had been involved because of her appalling parenting that they would be straight over to check on us. Dp told mil before I gave birth to dd1 that she wouldn't be having contact with the children which she strangely seemed to accept very calm which I now understand, when I was 5 month through my pregnancy with dd2 we got a solicitor letter demanding acsess to the children so I carefully talked through with my dp why he didn't want mil any where near our babys, he was so brave telling me everything, I wanted to kill her, I wanted to hold and protect my dp from her and the thought of a child rapist being anywhere near our children made me I'll so my dp along with his step brother reported mil crimes to the police, it took 3 years from start to finish but in the end she was not allowed near our kids, she admitted most of the charges but got a suspended sentence! Oh and put on the offenders register! Anyway our dd are safe for now. Just appreciate your mil if she is good to you cherish her

"Mine hasnt made any effort to see my children in 2 years......she lives 20 min away."......
Mine did this for 25 years . Trust me if they dont come for 2 years, they are not coming.

Mil’s can’t win, no matter what. I’m not a mil yet, but I look to the heavens and pray my ds doesn’t pick anyone remotely like any of the MIL bashers on this thread. It’s a power struggle as lots of women who dislike their mils are control freaks and really don’t like their DPs to have any relationship with their dms at all. I see it amongst friends all the time. It’s very sad.

Livelovebehappy why don’t your read the thread before suggesting the everyone on here is a MIl basher. As a mother to three boys and having had a difficult MIL myself I am relieved to recognise that i Am not an arsehole, I don’t rely on my sons to support me ⌨️, I am not envious or angry when they move out and have relationships and I have got on with all my eldests girlfriends. I can’t imagine for a minute that I would tell my GC there father could die in surgery and tell them I am disappointed in them for not getting up early and waving him off at the door, I don’t think For a minute that I would be fighting to get in to see my GC when there born as I have no doubt my DIL would want to see her own mum first, I won’t be giving stupid out dated advice and trying to get my DIl to give up breastfeeding so I can snatch her DC over night... I could go on and on. I just want my boys to be happy and I will follow there lead

aweedropof ????did I say everyone is a MIL basher on this thread? Nope, just re-read and I didn’t. I said there were mil bashers on the thread but obviously not all posters. And good for you - perfect MIL material. The examples you suggest in your thread are of course MILs from hell, and no one is stupid enough to say for one minute that the behaviour you describe is normal, but I suggest you follow your own advice and read some of the MIL threads doing the rounds on mumsnet, and a lot of issues aren’t worth giving headspace to.

I find the level of upset about posters sharing their awful stories about the dreadful MILs intriguing. They are (presumably) not talking about you or your MIL so why are some of you so offended by them? Some women are awful and some are wonderful and some of both of those types of women happen to be MILs.
Most of the stories shared here are clearly not just control freak DILs, jealous of their husband's relationship with perfectly normal, level-headed mothers. The threats of 'I hope you have sons and become a MIL one day' are baffling. Surely just becoming a MIL does not in itself turn one into a spiteful, wicked, child abusing, attention seeking narcissist like some of them described on here? The advice given by a PP was excellent - just don't be a dick. MIL, DIL, whatever, just don't be a dick.
There are so many threads describing awful husband behaviour on here but you don't seem to be excusing that and accusing MN of being anti-husband and that it is their fault for being a difficult wife and 'I hope you're a wife one day' comments. That's right, because that would be victim-blaming.

My late mil was a lovely woman, sadly she died a few months before my wedding 5 years ago, so was never officially my mil, fil has since married another woman (smil), who is not so nice.

When late mil died she left her 50% share of the house she shared with fil (mortgage free) to dh & sil, so a 25% share each, a couple of months before fil married smil, she had managed to convince him that should he die first it wasn't right that he would only be leaving her half a house, so she suggested she sell her house and buy dh & sil out, they agreed then she said that she couldn't sell just yet because the cat that she had pre moving in with fil still lived in the house and it would upset the cat too much to move

So she said that dh & sil should sign over their portion of the house now & she will sell the house and give them the money when the cat dies! (cat is 4 at this point) dh & sil refused, so fil cut them out his life

@Zoflorabore I win that contest, I was bought a piece of gammon by my father, for Christmas, I'm allergic to pork. Yay.

When DH told his mum what we called our baby she rang up and said she doesn’t like the name and we should call the baby something else

When I said when LO’s due date was when I was pregnant she said all the worst people she knows and hates were born on that date

FWIW I got in brilliantly with my ex’s MIL so I know not all MIL are the same. Current MIL is just downright rude and that’s not just me, friends have been shocked at the things she has said to me. None of her kids will spend Christmas with her as they all dislike her so we always get lumbered with her

When my son was born 4 years ago, my MIL walked onto the ward less than 24 hours after he came out of specialist care and pronounced he had one eye bigger than the other

When she took off with my baby against my wishes then lied about it and managed to convince my husband she was the victim.

Livelovebehappy So it’s okay to kidnap someone else’s baby and lie about it then play the victim? Am I guilty of trying to create a power struggle with my MIL because I didn’t just let her get away with it? And getting upset about that makes me a MIL basher, does it?

For the record, in the beginning I was the one brokering a better relationship between my husband and his mother. I was the one who suggested we move countries to live near her. I was the one who made huge efforts with the woman. And all she did was take the piss. And drove me to get as far away from her as possible. Hard to see what I could have done differently in this scenario.

exactly my situation for the past 4 years and im about to cry a puddle oh god i cannot stand mine 😢😢😢 please can someone help me i feel as if shes caused me to be depressed 😞😞

Unpleasant zombie thread

I loved my first potential mil but didn’t end up marrying her son, the lovely mother of the man I married unfortunately died before we got together and my consequent step mil was a well intentioned but bigoted and self centred woman who now I am an ex dil goes along with my fil and not only has no wish to see me (which is probably understandable) but more sadly won’t see their grandchildren either. So many stories (but quite outing!)

Years ago both early twenties, m in law colluded with son, he used her address for letters from ow. She passed them to him behind my back . We had been married two years and she had known me since I was 15, we had never had a cross word.She tried to say she had done nothing wrong. Swift divorce followed. Nearly 40 years ago and she ,is long dead , but have never forgotten her nastiness. Next M in law lived abroad thanfully

my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me but we could only marry if i moved in to his mothers house, she drank to much and would have been a nightmare...so lucky escape. my first husband had a weird mum, she would not allow him to have keys to the house when he was living there, neither parent came to our wedding, we split up a few years later and he moved to england and never saw them again. my late husband had a wonderful mum, she was not sure about me as i was 18 years younger than him, we got on okay and was always very nice to me, 10 years later she had a stroke and knew she was dying, she asked to see me and held my hand and made me promise to look after him, a few months after her death my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor that they could do nothing about, i was his carer for the next 7 years, i always wondered if she knew there was something wrong, i am a mil and i love my dil to bits, i will never interfere or judge her but she knows i am here if she needs me.