Wanting to time-limit visits from family?

[Cloudyyy]

Context: family live 2 hour drive away and for many reasons, prefer to visit us. They don’t appreciate our young children in their home and don’t like cooking for us. When we do visit then, we usually stay in hotels nearby and “pop” in. When they causing us, they insist on staying at ours because they can’t find anything suitable for them (they have a very long list of requirements) and moan about absolutely everywhere they’ve ever stayed. It’s stressful having them here because their lifestyle is so at odds with ours. For example, they get up late and stay up eating big dinners into the night. We hate this and are early morning people - as are the kids. They comment on everything in a negative way and I find it thoroughly exhausting having them here. They expect lavish meals throughout the day, sit indoors for hours on end and cannot sense when they’ve overstayed their welcome and it’s time to go.

Dilemma: We’re having a family celebration on a Saturday in November and they want to stay at our place. I’ve told them that they’re welcome to stay Friday/ Saturday but we’re in work Monday morning so they’ll have to go Sunday morning. They want to travel him on the Monday because it’ll be “too exhausting” going the Sunday so they’re now expecting a big roast on the Sunday too. I have explained we’re in work but apparently that doesn’t matter because it’s family so time with them IS relaxing 😬.

Would I be unreasonable to insist on a hotel Sunday night for them?? Is that rude? Or are they rude expecting to stay on a work and school night?

Brilliant. Team Siblings wins again.

Excellent two-pronged attack by you and your brother. THat should sirt the buggers out!

YAY:o you've got them under control now and you can have lots more fun winding them up if you fancy it :o

Great! And in future practice saying no

How lovely to have one of these threads end quickly and happily. Well done OP and DB of OP 😊

Out manoeuvred - well done! Now you can enjoy the weekend.

Brilliant brother! 😁

For only two hours away, they don't need to stay anyway - my parents lived two and a half hours away (if the hill passes were clear) and would come down for the day, leaving early evening.

Delighted for you, OP! I hope this is the start to your 'doormat no more' way of life!

Can’t wait for the update from I the play centre

Sounds like it will be a good weekend now!

If they stay in a hotel for this trip it will be so much easier to get them to stay in one again.

I suggest you keep a ready-prepared list of why they can't use your spare room for any future trips they make to you - friends will be using it, dcs are having sleepovers and extra bed(s) will be needed, it will be undergoing redecoration (which subsequently doesn't happen due to last minute change of plans) etc etc.

You do know that if you'd allowed them to stay with you on Saturday night there's no way you would have got them to leave on Sunday morning?

They would have stuck it out until late afternoon at which time it would have been too dark to drive, or one of them felt unwell, and you would have been lucky to have got rid of them on Monday morning.