Dh wants to buy a holiday home. AIBU to think it's an awful idea?

[flametrees]

Dh wants to buy a holiday home in a location we visit every year. At least once with kids and once alone.
We also visit other places though.
I cannot see any advantages to owning a holiday home there. Property is expensive for what you get.
We will have maintenance costs. The worry that it will be broken into when we are not there etc
Plus I think he will never want to visit anywhere else if he buys a holiday home there. While I enjoy the location it isn't somewhere I want to limit my entire future holidays to.

AIBU to think buying a holiday home is a really bad idea?

Yanbu. I had property in another country. What a nightmare. From rental agents to tenants and maintenance issues. And it's not worth it to just have it as a holiday home without earning income, so with comes a whole lot of issues mentioned above.

I agree it’s a bad idea for all sorts of reasons. We bought a static caravan in an area we loved but got bored after a couple of years of just going there for holidays, so that’s a valid reason not to.

Also, there’s are the social aspects. If the area is one where a lot of smaller properties are bought by affluent outsiders as holiday homes, it means locals struggle to buy affordable homes to live in full time.

Not worth it for two visits a year. You need to be going lots of weekends and a big part of the summer hols to make it worth it surely?

In my opinion, unless a holiday home is close enough for you to pop for regular weekends (so say within 2-3 hours drive from your house), or you have a job like teachers so you can go for 9+ weeks a year (even if you have to take paperwork with you to do) - then you'd be better renting for the 2-3 weeks a year you can go.

2nd homes are worth it, holiday homes for people who only go away for a couple of weeks a year are a waste of money.

It's a good idea if it's an investment and you plan to get some rental income from it. Provided the value then goes up, it could work well for you

But if you just plan to leave it empty apart from when you visit, then I think there's not a lot of advantage to it.

Currently sitting on the patio of my holiday house . 6 visits this year. Beautiful place with lots to do. We let family and friends use it to make enough money to cover running costs). 100% the right decision for us. I love how easy it is to go away without ever having to pack as your things are already in the wardrobe / cupboards. I take your point about always coming to the same place however the familiarity and ease is so nice when you have children . Our boys feel totally at home here.

How much does it cost you to stay there once or twice a year and how much would your mortgage cost you every year. I presume the mortgage works out a lot more than a couple of holidays staying wherever you want and not being tied to one place. There is no guarantee that this would pay off in the long run.

My brother invested in a holiday home over 10 years ago as both a holiday home and an investment and just sold it for a major loss early this year. In the end he was just relieved to wash his hands of it. Unless you have the money to lost I would be very wary tbh.

YANBU

You would need to be going a lot for than twice a year to justify it IMHO

I can see the attraction of owning a holiday home but the cons often outweigh the pros when you explore the idea in more detail

YANBU

I live in an area full of holiday homes. It means not only that locals are priced out, as above (not your fault I get that) but that houses are left empty for most of the year, they get neglected, overgrown, allow areas to be vandalised (no witnesses around to deter anti social behaviour) and they do leave holes in a community. My road has more holiday homes than lived in homes. Those hh owners do not really contribute to our area although they brag about how they come so often they are almost a local. Anyway I didn't think I'd ever be one of those locals who rolled their eyes at holiday home owners but I have.

If I bought a holiday home it would be to live full time in it eventually.

I'm with Ladybirdman same happens around us. Big holiday area, lots of tourists most of the year. Sadly everyone is complaining, they register these second homes as a business and don't pay council tax and pay a business rate, but even though they are supposed to rent it out for a minimum number of days they don't, they use it themselves and let family use them too. and manage to get away with it.
My son and his partner can't afford to buy in our area. they'd probably get onto the ladder with shared ownership. But want a little two bed terrace that needs a refub, now out of reach for them.

The holiday home would be in Spain.
I know we would never go anywhere else other than there then. As it is Dh would go way more often if he could.
He also thinks I would spend the summer there with the kids and he would come for 2-3 long weekends.
He can afford to buy it.
If I'm honest I don't even really like the area that much. Kids love it as we go every year.
Dh could easily work from there. And I think he sees us retiring there.

I've said no. I want to visit other places in the future. I don't want to spend the summer with the kids alone over there.

Yet he still persists. Keeps sending me links to homes to look at.

Ah. That's more complicated. Sounds like you need to have a serious discussion about how you both see the future. He has a vision and is trying to create it. The vision isn't yours. This is a problem.

What about a small apartment he could go to solo? That's more secure than a house too.

I think it is more hassle than it is worth abroad. You've got to deal with a legal system you know nothing about. If you are going twice a year it will probably take you 50 years to make your money back.

Although I do like the idea of not travelling with suitcases and having all my summer clothes there already

If he's that insistent and can afford it, let him buy it. You don't have to go to it, and you certainly don't have to be packed off to it for the entire summer with the kids (why does he want you all out of the way for 6 weeks at a stretch?).

Surely he realises frequent travel to an EU destination might not be so simple after Brexit?

Give him a year or two and he'll realise his mistake then sell it when it's hardly been used. He might even make a small profit in that time.

When it comes down to it he will buy it if he decides to and then I will be nagged incessantly to go.
I'm trying to come up with good reasons why it's a bad idea.

Two of his group of work friends have holiday homes and their families are there every holiday. Every break from school is spent there. He thinks that's a great idea.

I know I will hate it.

When I was a child my parents had a holiday home abroad. We spent most holidays there (half terms, Easter and Summer, but not always Christmas). We didn't rent it out as an investment and kept it for private use. As a child I loved it. It was very literally my second home, with toys etc there and I made local friends. I never got bored of the location and spoke the language well. As an adult I would instead buy a second home within 2 hours drive from our house so we can have it weekends without having to pay £X00s on flights to get there. I also wouldn't want to be tied to a non-UK country post-Brexit, and the cultural differences/international view of Brits has definitely changed since I've grown up.

I’ve heard that Spain inheritance laws are really tricky and difficult if that makes a difference?? Big burden on your kids or whoever is left behind.

Would you be interested in buying a holiday home in a different area? Or somewhere you like to go?

Or do you just hate the idea fullstop.

It doesn't appeal to me, for a number of reasons. First is that I like to go somewhere different every year. Even if we visit the same general area more than once I like to stay somewhere different. My parents in law have an apartment abroad and whilst it is lovely, we've kind of been there, done that now. They, and their other children and grandchildren go every year and I know it has been commented on that we (well, I) think we are "too good" for it because we only visit occasionally. That isn't the case at all, I just feel that there is a lot of world we still haven't seen. I don't like the pressure there is to go there every year, I like variety.
Secondly, whilst having a second home does have the benefits of home like having a home from home, it also comes with all the downsides of home too - cleaning, maintenance, bills, potential problem neighbours and so on. My ILs are retired so they do go out for quite long stays, but quite a lot of the time is spent just doing what they do at home, only in a warmer place. Unless you pay someone to look after the place and get it ready for arrivals there is often quite a lot to do, especially for whoever is the first visitor of the summer when it's been locked up for months. All the things that are someone else's problem when you rent a holiday home are yours when you are the owner.
My ILs have also had a few issues with the company that is supposed to manage the communal areas in the apartment block which has been difficult. That kind of dispute can be tricky at the best of times but when it is all happening in a different country, with a different language and different legal system it is even worse.
I would be particularly wary of buying property in an EU country at the moment. My ILs experience has shown me that it isn't guaranteed to be straightforward even whilst we are EU citizens and it certainly could get more difficult when we are not. There is so much uncertainty at the moment. Things may turn out to be absolutely fine post Brexit but right now we simply don't know. I probably wouldn't want a second home at all really, but if I was going to get one I would definitely let the dust settle post Brexit before I did.

If you think you will visit frequently and like the area then I would but you say you don't. You will also probably lose money if you can shift it. Only Barcelona city property is like London market. I know two people facing a big loss by selling in Spain. My friend has a place in Marseille and goes every month as do friends and it was very cheap to buy. Another friend has a place in benidorm and goes once a year. Another has a place in Cyprus and goes frequently. Warning.. friend s who bought in Marseille and Cyprus both experienced huge corruption and had to bribe to get deeds etc.

YANBU.

My ILs have a house in Spain. It has been great for us over the years especially when I was a SAHM as it was a way for us to have a holiday. However MIL always says that she has missed out on visiting other places. They are retired now so spend 3 months at a time there but there is always maintenance when they arrive.

My parents have a cottage in Cumbria which my DM regrets. Again there is maintenance and having to keep going to check all is well.

Both have put me off the idea!!

My parents bought a holiday home in their home town. They are now living in it in their retirement. They are both happy there though.

I think your situation is different though.

It's hard work running second homes, especially second homes that are a long distance from the main base. I know - I do it. If you don't want to do it, don't, because the resentment and stress will be awful.

On the other hand, it's not nice or kind to trample on someone's dreams, so I think in your place I'd say to your DH that he can go ahead, but not to expect you to be involved or to go there unless you feel like a visit.

I think you should say to him along the lines of buy it if it will make you happy. To be clear you won’t be spending the entire summer holiday there. That does not appeal to you at all. So if he wants a property sitting empty for 50 plus weeks of the year, that is his choice.

We have had our Devon home for 17 years now and I can honestly say it transformed our lives. With my teaching holidays we visited with the children seven times a year and loved being on the coast.

We play a game on the three hour journey where we imagine where we would be if we were travelling abroad. By the time we hit half way we reckon we would be tired, annoyed and bored and still no where near on the plane. When we arrive we would be drinking cold aeroplane tea and eating plastic snack food.

There are drawbacks as, annually, it costs the equivalent of a fancy fortnight abroad to fix and maintain the place and we do a lot of cleaning and maintenance ourselves. But our daughter loves it and visits often and she was married in the local church there this year.

We were going to help pay the costs by renting it out and it would
command a pretty penny but, in the end, we decided the ultimate luxury was to have it for ourselves as the best thing about having a place is the ability to take off at no notice for a weekend break, if, for example, a heatwave arrives.

We have friends who have places abroad and they are less satisfactory in that holiday resorts elsewhere are dull while the British coast, countryside, towns, cities and villages are stunning and fascinating.
Also, there is no way of avoiding a day’s travel to get to even the nearest place our friends have one visit to their places to our four or five.

We are off to Devon next week to put the heating on its winter setting of an hour a day to avoid freezing pipes. What joy! A holiday in November. Not to mention the cleaning and mending. But those frosty seaside walks will be worth it.