Can I ask my bf for a loan?

[Mysteriocheerios]

I wrote on another thread about my various financial problems, so I won't repeat but I'm skint and have no money (none not even on the credit card!) till Thursday when dp gets paid. It's my DS' birthday party tomorrow and I have nothing in. Not even eggs to make a cake.
My bestie lives locally and we have been friends since primary school. She's probably the only person apart from my Dm who I can be completely myself around. She's pretty sure that she has autism as well as social anxiety and things have been pretty hard for her. She lives with her parents and hasn't had a LTR. She's had the opportunity but I think she's worried about feeling trapped.

Sometimes I think it's ironic how we probably crave a bit of one the other one has. She's nearly always alone, when I would love some time to myself. I'm always skint whilst she gets her whole paycheck to spend on clothes, holidays and concert tickets. I never have any time whilst she says she's often bored and wants someone to go out with (probs not two kids though!)
She comes over every Friday night and we eat (I cook) and have a laugh till 2am (dp usually has to come down and tell us to make less noise as he has work the next day ) Then I drive her home. Not virtue signalling but I pay for everything food, beers, chocolate, meals out on her bday, cinema tickets if it's a film I want to see. I never ask for anything because she's my friend and also it makes things awkward. His many threads are there about friends and money?
Now I'm in complete dire straights, could I ask her for £50? I've never asked for any money before (she's never either.) My worst fear is that it would makes things hella awkward and ruin this lovely relationship.

@DtPeabodysLoosePants no that's why I'm not earning very much!
In the long run I'm hoping to do more nights and weekends but at the moment I'm stuck doing earlys which everyone wants but obviously don't have the incentives.
Everyone on my ward wants Sunday's!

@Singlenotsingle tell me about it? I love it when people say 'why aren't you using your degree?' as if you went through all these great, well paying jobs on Indeed and chose to work in a shop.

I may have missed something but can't your Dp help you? You mentioned him earlier and that he's working so if he's your partner surely he'd help you if he can. Is he your DC's dad?

@Mysteriocheerios thanks

@Singlenotsingle, I know, but I wonder sometimes why people go through all the stress of getting a degree (and the cost) and then go and do a job that they dont need a qualification for?

She comes over every Friday night and we eat (I cook) and have a laugh till 2am (dp usually has to come down and tell us to make less noise as he has work the next day grin) Then I drive her home. Not virtue signalling but I pay for everything food, beers, chocolate, meals out on her bday, cinema tickets if it's a film I want to see. I never ask for anything

She isn’t your friend-I have no idea why you would pay for everything for her every week and every time you go out?

7 vegan three year olds-wow! That’s unusual. I’d just do jam sandwiches.

@PrincessRaven because we have no option. There really are very few degree related jobs if you have a humanities or an arts degree. Apart from teaching, which I've tried but I'm not very good at. No one has found my English literature degree to be of merit so far. In fact I work with two RMN's who are ex secondary school English teachers. It's a pretty soul destroying job it seems and with my dp out the house from 7-7 it wouldn't work for us without my children being in childcare a lot more (which I wouldn't object to but I don't think it would necessarily make us better off.)

Hello everyone,

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

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Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon. In the meantime, you might find some useful information on our guide for dealing with financial difficulty

Ahh op you can substitute eggs with flavoured sparkling water. My vegan friend makes a peach cake with sugar, oil, flour and peach sparkling water. It's nice and only 20 odd p.

@Fizzypoo thanks for the tip! Never thought of that but I can see how it would work.

Typical MN btw; you can moan about being poor if you're earning 30k part time and everyone is sympathetic but if you're really struggling and want to vent then everyone reports you for being a scamming scrounger. Way to be supportive, ladies.

Just cancel the party. You would have known before now that you didn’t have anything for it.

The party is the least of your worries given you have children to support.

Well no but if you piss your money up the wall buying beer and trips to the cinema instead of saving for your child’s birthday, then people lose sympathy.

God people can be arseholes. If I was your best friend I'd be pretty gutted you didn't ask me, especially when I take as much as she seems to from you.

Does she work?

I only ever did parties for mine when we were feeling flush and when they were at school. A party for 15 when you are skint is not something to sign yourself up to-especially when you know half are vegan! My kids would have been happy with a trip to the woods and a balloon at 3!

I would cancel and prioritise carefully in future.

You seem to have missed my question about your DP-can he not help you out?

£50 isn't much. You could maybe have budgeted better if you've had the money to buy drink n stuff- you'llve had a lot of time to plan this.

Maybe others are right and it is better to ask her to help you buy stuff.

But I've lent friends loads more than that before when they were behind with their mortgage and unemployed, and I'm not even earning.

You should've sorted this out one way or the other before this, not waited till the night before or something.

But yes, ask her to save your bacon one way or another. Best wishes xx

I'd expect most office jobs to be impressed by a good degree btw, depending how you did, though you sound like you probably did ok. (It needs to be a 1st or 2:1 ideally.) In fact they maybe expect a degree now. It would certainly give you an edge on those who don't have one when applying for office roles etc- obviously depending on whether there were candidates with loads more experience than you or something.

@DtPeabodysLoosePants sorry I lost your question amongst all the other bollocks. DP might be able to help but he's paid the mortgage and council tax and half the preschool bill this month. He's also a bit annoyed as I spent £50 on a slow cooker and some Mexican ingredients for my ward as we were having a pop up cafe to raise money for a treadmill and I haven't got the money off my ward manager yet as she's off sick. That was our emergency fund for DS's party.

@Interestedwoman thank you, I have an upper 2:1 but from a crap uni. I have never found its given me an edge above any other candidate. My boss worked in pubs from 18-30 and still managed to be a band 5 by 35. I just found office jobs a bit tedious as I'm very ideas driven and problem solving, I can't sit still and I want to be out in the world. Maybe that's why I'm skint.

@BarrenFieldofFucks yes she earns more than me.

You must be averaging £30 or so every Friday by buying everything for your friend, and you knew your son had a birthday coming up. You then spent you last £50 for a work thing? I would be angry with you too.

You only had an emergency fund to use for your child's birthday? But used that for an event at work? Your priorities are unbelievable. I hope your ds has a lovely birthday and that you use this as impetus to get your finances sorted so that your priorities are covered rather than treating your friend and funding events at work.

Jesus wept. You used the emergency fun to buy things for work. Your priorities are messed up

But I was supposed to get the money back this week. The event wouldn't have happened otherwise.
My DS has a really nice life and he will have fun tomorrow even if we end up telling everyone to bring their own picnic. Yes it's a bit stressful for me but I feel my priorities are correct. I prioritise those who have less.

No OP. You prioritise your home ansbyoie family. Then you five whatever you can to those who have less.

What you don't do it arrange a party for your son and then turn around the day before and go "oops, I spent all the money so we won't be feeding them and no cake".

If you live paycheck to paycheck then I'd understand you waiting to get paid today before you had the money, but you don't live like that. You have disposable money each month which you piss away on beer and chocolate for your friend. You should have organised the party food by budgeting your money. And no one relies on HMRC doing anything on time when it's absolutely needed for something.

Your friend doesn't have less though, by your own admission. She earns more than you and lives at home. Wtf are you subbing her?