Can I ask my bf for a loan?

[Mysteriocheerios]

I wrote on another thread about my various financial problems, so I won't repeat but I'm skint and have no money (none not even on the credit card!) till Thursday when dp gets paid. It's my DS' birthday party tomorrow and I have nothing in. Not even eggs to make a cake.
My bestie lives locally and we have been friends since primary school. She's probably the only person apart from my Dm who I can be completely myself around. She's pretty sure that she has autism as well as social anxiety and things have been pretty hard for her. She lives with her parents and hasn't had a LTR. She's had the opportunity but I think she's worried about feeling trapped.

Sometimes I think it's ironic how we probably crave a bit of one the other one has. She's nearly always alone, when I would love some time to myself. I'm always skint whilst she gets her whole paycheck to spend on clothes, holidays and concert tickets. I never have any time whilst she says she's often bored and wants someone to go out with (probs not two kids though!)
She comes over every Friday night and we eat (I cook) and have a laugh till 2am (dp usually has to come down and tell us to make less noise as he has work the next day ) Then I drive her home. Not virtue signalling but I pay for everything food, beers, chocolate, meals out on her bday, cinema tickets if it's a film I want to see. I never ask for anything because she's my friend and also it makes things awkward. His many threads are there about friends and money?
Now I'm in complete dire straights, could I ask her for £50? I've never asked for any money before (she's never either.) My worst fear is that it would makes things hella awkward and ruin this lovely relationship.

@funnylittlefloozie I think I've exhausted my options there.
Vegan cake would actually be quite cheap to make at this point. I have a lot of the ingredients.

I would ask my bf in a heartbeat and if she didn’t have the money we would scrape together something from our cupboards.

She's taking the piss butterfly, don't rise to it.

Op, you shouldn't be cancelling now on your ds of 15 3 year olds who think they've got a party tomorrow. Take the yellow sticker money you were going to use and go and get some pasta for tomato pasta and a cucumber 🤷🏽‍♀️

Well this has escalated quickly 🤣
I think Tory is the new favourite MN insult when people’s budgeting is questioned 🤣🤣

@Butterflyone12e you really are an utter snob and I hope one day someone pulls the rug from under your feet and you feel as I do today. For what it's worth I've got a degree, I've worked since I was 15, I'm a care assistant in a mental health unit looking after severely disabled adults, I can cook, I don't have any tattoos and I own my own home. I just want enough to live on and not wake up every day dreading checking my bank balance and maybe that's asking too much but that's my lot in life. Perhaps I am too generous and I've made some bad choices but I can look myself in the mirror and be proud that I would do anything for my friends and family and I give even when I don't really have my children to give.

Why do you pay for everything if you're the one who's skint, and she's got spare cash? No wonder you can't afford a present for the DC. I'd ask her and explain what you need the money for. If she's any sort of a friend, she'll be happy to help.

@Wineislifex yeah you know, budgeting. That's the difference between poverty and wealth.
Can't wait for the election now!

I hope you get something sorted.

You need to stop bankrolling your friend though. Can't believe you treat her to everything and she has more disposable income than you! You need to be firm and clear.

You mentioned autism and this stood out:
When she explained it it was like it genuinely had never occurred to her to offer money. This sounds just like my Dad. As we went through the process of assessment with our son, I realised Dad almost certainly is on the spectrum too. He will take, take, take whatever is on offer. If you ask for a contribution he acts very surprised. The key is to make expectations very clear in advance.

I don't usual offer money as I said I'm only on £190 a month atm till be medical assessment comes back hopefully I've won enough points then my money will go up my partner got diagnosed with lung cancer last Friday so I know how it feels to struggle I only offered to get her a shop because kids having no party on there b'day really tugs at my heart strings but I'll be honest I understand financial crisis have come up you wasn't expecting at the worse possible time but I would of put a couple of quid away every time I got paid even if it's only a fiver just in case things like this happen I wish u all best xx

@Loneranger14 thank you, I offer you and your partner every luck and prayer in the world. Isn't it funny how when we struggle we still give, even if we don't really have it to give. All the very best xx

@Mysteriocheerios yes budgeting, surely your child’s birthday hasn’t come as a surprise to you? I assume maybe it’s the same date each year? So maybe instead of spending cash on your pal each week you could have put that away so your child could have a nice day?

Op, you've posted twice and both times about needing money. Whilst I hope you manage to sort this out, I also hope no-one is sending you money on the back of these two threads. And yes, I know you've said you don't want donations but the tone of your posts doesn't make it sound that way.

Let me reiterate I don't want money, I just want to moan. I have not received any money nor would I accept it. I'm just going through a really tough time. If I was going for the 'poor me' angle would I really be starting fights with tories and admitting I was a home owner in an expensive part of the country?

MT2017 agreed. There are kind, generous people on here probably being taken for complete mugs. Have reported.

Report away I've got nothing to hide. I found a £1 down the side of the sofa, so things are looking up.

I'd tell her you need her help setting up and send her a shopping list to pick up on the way.
You've spent enough on her and it's time for her to return the favour.

In these situations I look at all my reward schemes - I currently have £5 in Tesco clubcard vouchers, so that would be useful. Luckily I also happen to have £23 in Nectar points. I have about £5 in Quidco and I have Swagbucks worth £50 (I have been saving up the latter) which can be converted to Amazon, Paypal, M&S etc.

If you're really skint all the time it's worth signing up to Swagbucks and YouGov and doing a few surveys each evening.

Oh, I also have some rewards in my Coop account, need to check that.

@VanGoghsDog I'm definitely looking into those sort of things, which ones are worth it?
We do all our shopping in Lidl and Aldi so no rewards there but I need to look at getting a Morrison's card for petrol if there is such a thing. Co-op card points are the best in my opinion. You get loads back!

For what it's worth I've got a degree, I've worked since I was 15, I'm a care assistant in a mental health unit looking after severely disabled adults

I'm not asking to be goady, but why are you working as a care assistant when you have a degree? Is this a minimum wage job?

Bristol you say OP, compass point Childrens centre have a community fridge might be worth a punt

Just checked £11.30 in Co-op, I don't go there very often.

Nectar is good as it's at lots of places, including ebay.

I like Swagbucks, it converts to vouchers but I've had no problem converting, last year I saved up for new hair straighteners which were £35. You could sign up today, get your dp to sign up (so you get the referral bonus), join the membership scheme and do a few surveys and get £5 by the end of the day I reckon|.

(this is my referral: www.swagbucks.com/lp-savings-button?cmp=695&cxid=swagbuttonref&rb=39156569&extRefCmp=1&extRb=39156569 )

@PrincessRaven you can earn quite a bit in unsociable hours pay and go up to a band 4/5. I'm hoping to become an activities co-ordinator and then a physical health and well-being involvement coach. It's all in the plan. I enjoy it and I make a difference to someone's life.

Just because someone's got a degree, it doesn't guarantee a well paid job.

Does your childminder do unsociable hours? I'm a nurse and was never able to find anyone to cover childcare on nights or weekends.