Can I ask my bf for a loan?

[Mysteriocheerios]

I wrote on another thread about my various financial problems, so I won't repeat but I'm skint and have no money (none not even on the credit card!) till Thursday when dp gets paid. It's my DS' birthday party tomorrow and I have nothing in. Not even eggs to make a cake.
My bestie lives locally and we have been friends since primary school. She's probably the only person apart from my Dm who I can be completely myself around. She's pretty sure that she has autism as well as social anxiety and things have been pretty hard for her. She lives with her parents and hasn't had a LTR. She's had the opportunity but I think she's worried about feeling trapped.

Sometimes I think it's ironic how we probably crave a bit of one the other one has. She's nearly always alone, when I would love some time to myself. I'm always skint whilst she gets her whole paycheck to spend on clothes, holidays and concert tickets. I never have any time whilst she says she's often bored and wants someone to go out with (probs not two kids though!)
She comes over every Friday night and we eat (I cook) and have a laugh till 2am (dp usually has to come down and tell us to make less noise as he has work the next day ) Then I drive her home. Not virtue signalling but I pay for everything food, beers, chocolate, meals out on her bday, cinema tickets if it's a film I want to see. I never ask for anything because she's my friend and also it makes things awkward. His many threads are there about friends and money?
Now I'm in complete dire straights, could I ask her for £50? I've never asked for any money before (she's never either.) My worst fear is that it would makes things hella awkward and ruin this lovely relationship.

If she is such a close friend then I dont see why not. If a good friend asked me, i would be more than happy to help if i could. Dò you know if she could afford it? You do so much for her, so if she is as good a friend then you can expect her to help you out. And you are paying it back so it shouldn't be a big deal.

Sainsburys do fab tray bakes for not much they could be cut up into squares for the little ones...bet she would gladly call in for you....you could say can we sort it out later what I owe you and if it were me I would say dont be daft it was only xxxquid it will be my contribution to the party!add candles and your sorted! Jam sandwhiches for the kids and you have cracked it!

You've got 15 kids coming for a party. If you get 2 loaves, a pack of ham, a tub of cheese spread, a cucumber cut in half and 2 of the 8 pack multipack skips/quavers with a big pack of Bourbon biscuits you have got party food.

That's £6.00 in Aldi.

You can go this evening and get a reduced cake from any supermarket or they all have tray bake type things for £4.00

Basically you can hold this party for £10 including cake so that's all you need. No need to ask for or spend £50 in your situation.

Sell something on fbook marketplace. A couple of games and books, dvds or use up any points on nectar card/Tesco clubcard and empty out penny jars

Could you instead ask if she could possibly get you cake ingredients and some bags of crisps / squash? Surely that would be under £20 worth?

I would ask her I think. I had to ask my friend for a loan to pay my mortgage one month when I first started my business and cash flow wasn’t quite right. She was absolutely fine about it and I paid it straight back so all good.

Did you go trick or treating last night because we have a mountain of sweets. Pour them into a bowl!

You could do hotdogs. For 16 hotdogs it will cost you £2.00 and take the ketchup from home

Cancel the party today and just say your ds is under the weather. If you have a £1, you can pop to the local supermarket and buy a cheap cake. As a fun activity you could decorate the cake, make some nice bunting and get the kids to do it.
Also not sure whereabout you are but lots of places a free fireworks display, over the weekend-so maybe if your near one that could be a birthday treat.
Your 'friend' never buying a round or paying for themselves is not on-maybe next time just say 'shall we split it?' Don't pay for again and see how your friendship evolves.
Good luck with everything

Don't borrow money from a friend. Friend once asked me for a very large sum (I would have had to mortgage my home), I refused and it soured the relationship. Like others have said, ask her for her help instead - very different feeling to it.

@AndysFavouriteToy I was supposed to be paid £1,500 today but I haven't been thanks to a fuck up with HMRC. I couldn't have planned for this even if I tried. I usually have an emergency fund but after having £500 less per month since August.

I don't know why I treat her so differently to anyone else. I think it's because I don't have siblings and she's the closest thing I have to a sister.
My life is hard and I'm always rushing around, trying to do a million things and failing at most of them. But I am always acknowledged on my birthday. For some strange reason I have a lot of friends and people who care about me. I don't feel that things are the same for my friend. If I didn't offer to do anything I doubt anyone would take her out for a birthday meal or a trip to the cinema. Being in your thirties is difficult, everyone is settling down, it can be lonely.

How did this happen? Did you get an unexpected expense suddenly?

What do you have in cupboard / freezer? Cheap iceland or reduced short dated pizzas. Crisps. Make a cake? Who is coming, any family who could bring a plate of sarnies or cake? When is child benefit paid in?

Sounds like you have a good relationship with your mother.
As it’s a birthday and people are already invited, I would ask your mum for the money - but not £50. People have described how £10 will cover it.

Hope your tax credits come through soon.

Added complication that half the kids coming are vegan

Slightly missing the point but why are YOU always paying for meals, beers, cinema tickets etc? It sounds like you're working on a budget but your friend isn't a priority here, your family is.

Honestly, it sounds like she takes the piss. Does she work? How and why do you pay for everything like an extra child? What a weird dynamic between friends.

Where is your son's father?

HALF the kids are vegan? Jam sarnies will be fine. Surely you won't need eggs for a cake then...

7 of them?!
Well look on the bright side, you don’t need to worry about having eggs in then

Are they not all 3 year olds then?

@BarrenFieldofFucks he's had the mortgage and council tax to pay this week, plus half the preschool bill. He said to cancel.
Mum has lent my £400 last month for my childminder so I didn't have to quit my job. I've exhausted a lot of options.

I'm thinking homemade pizza (have lots of flour and tinned tomato's) ask the vegans to bring their own cheese, go to the shops at 7pm for the yellow stickers, make vegan cake with coconut oil and aqua faba.

Bristol problems. Most kids party's are vegan or veggie affairs these days (at least in the east )

I see no issue in asking a friend who you have known since childhood if you could borrow some money and will pay back next week. Perhaps ask if you could borrow a bit of money to cover the cost of a cake and some food items for the party and see how much she is willing to loan. Even £30 would help. Good luck!

I would not ask your friend for £50 but I would start sharing costs when you go out or have her round. Half each for takeaway. Each provide something to drink. Each buy own ticket for cinema ext. When you are struggling a bit financially it is totally unrealistic to fund other people's social lives. If you stop doing that in future it will help at that really tight end of the month. Could you borrow £10 for a cake from your dm or as a last resort maybe ask your friend if you can borrow £10. If you do ...don't bake the cake op unless you are amazing at baking. You can get some great cakes at supermarkets and its always just when you can't afford to replace the ingredients that you have a major disaster in the kitchen. That's my experience anyway.

My husband lent £300 to his mate at the beginning of September, we got the promises that it would be paid back in a week or so, but DEFINITELY by the end of September.

It's now 1st November and have we seen a penny of it? Have we fuck. He's even been out for a drink with my husband and absolutely no reference made to the money. His wife is a "consultant" for one of the MLM companies and is buying all her stock, but we've not had the money back. I am cross with my husband for also not referencing it, as I'm convinced we'all not get it back.

So. No please don't ask - not for a party

I was going to guess Brighton, but yeah - Bristol would do it 🤣

Pizza is a good plan as you have the ingredients already, but coconut oil and aqua faba are not going to be yellow sticker items.
I’d ditch the cake plan.

I would have no qualms in asking a good friend for a £50 loan. I presume you will be paying it back as soon as you have it. On the other hand she does sound like a bit of a CF to be honest. Either that or she has no concept of money.

I will just say though, if I was your mum, I’d be devastated you hadn’t felt able to ask me.