Can I ask my bf for a loan?

[Mysteriocheerios]

I wrote on another thread about my various financial problems, so I won't repeat but I'm skint and have no money (none not even on the credit card!) till Thursday when dp gets paid. It's my DS' birthday party tomorrow and I have nothing in. Not even eggs to make a cake.
My bestie lives locally and we have been friends since primary school. She's probably the only person apart from my Dm who I can be completely myself around. She's pretty sure that she has autism as well as social anxiety and things have been pretty hard for her. She lives with her parents and hasn't had a LTR. She's had the opportunity but I think she's worried about feeling trapped.

Sometimes I think it's ironic how we probably crave a bit of one the other one has. She's nearly always alone, when I would love some time to myself. I'm always skint whilst she gets her whole paycheck to spend on clothes, holidays and concert tickets. I never have any time whilst she says she's often bored and wants someone to go out with (probs not two kids though!)
She comes over every Friday night and we eat (I cook) and have a laugh till 2am (dp usually has to come down and tell us to make less noise as he has work the next day ) Then I drive her home. Not virtue signalling but I pay for everything food, beers, chocolate, meals out on her bday, cinema tickets if it's a film I want to see. I never ask for anything because she's my friend and also it makes things awkward. His many threads are there about friends and money?
Now I'm in complete dire straights, could I ask her for £50? I've never asked for any money before (she's never either.) My worst fear is that it would makes things hella awkward and ruin this lovely relationship.

This is such a bizarre thread. Just because your friend has her financial situation sorted (and you don't) you shouldn't expect her to lend you money.

You knew when your child's birthday was so you should have planned better. If you're due a refund from HMRC, they'd never give you a specific date so you should have had other money sorted.

I suggest you pawn something. How about whatever device you're using to be on here!

@Ellisandra I ask my mum quite a lot though. She's my rock. I think she feels a bit desperate sometimes, as there's no easy solution for being broke. I work on nearly minimum wage but if I get a promotion I lose my tax credits. I don't ask her unless I really have no other solution.

Yes, I think you are doing the right thing by not asking her. I have previous lent money to my BF and I have always got it back (to be honest it wouldn't bother me if I didn't, I only lend money I can afford to loose ) but I do know some people who have lent friends money and end up loosing the friendship.

She's not a bad friend, she probably just doesn't "get it".

If she is a true BF, sit her down and just say " we are going to have to start splitting our night in feasts as I can't afford it all" job done. No awkwardness and you can start getting your finances in order.

I would ask my best friend in a second and she would give it to me and the same the other way round. I wouldn't ask for it back if I could spare it either. I'm lucky to have a completely non competitive and uncomplicated friendship though I guess.

@Butterflyone12e stay on brand

Don't ask her. I would postpone the party. I would though stop funding her lifestyle. If your short of money and she's not how can you pay for her all the time?

Why was the flight cancelled ?
You can claim compensation for that . It is often more than the flight cost . Do you have insurance to claim lost cost of hotel back ?
Have the party another time ...

@Loneranger14 you are an absolute diamond but I honestly couldn't let you do that. I hope you get your money and it's a really generous offer but I have to be a big girl and stand on my own feet here. I've contributed to my own situation in some small way so it's time to face up to the reality. Honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart

@Loneranger14

Don't offer money!!!!

This is the second thread in the last couple of hours about an emergency with no money and a child who needs it. Don't offer money because it's often a scam.

If you have a smart phone- download the Olio app. There may be things on there you can get for free, especially after Halloween

Could I please just say for the record that I am not asking for donations! I just want a place to moan same as every other poster.

I can't believe people are offering money to OP. She has a partner and clearly gadgets to be on the internet with. Start providing for your own family!

You've loads of tinned tomatoes and need to cater vegan?

Right. You need 60p for 2 bags of penne.

Mix with tomatoes and sprinkle some herbs in.

You are saying that you'll go out to get yellow sticker items so how much have you actually got to buy those with?

What do you have in the cupboards and freezer exactly?!

@Butterflyone12e if I sell my phone explain to me how I can pay my childminder, electric bill, gas, look for a better job so I can pull myself up by my bootstraps like you tories want us all to? You can't have it both ways.

Plus if I don't have a phone I won't be able to work. So I'll be even more of a burden on your precious taxes.

I've had to pay £200 for a hotel that I haven't stayed in and she sort of said that was a shame and to message when I'm next free.

1. you had to pay it whether you stayed or not, it didn't cost you more not to stay (probably less)
2. what did you expect her to say?

Anyway, when she comes over say "I'm broke, please could you bring beers and a pud if I do a pizza for main course?".

Re the party - tell them all it's a pizza party and to bring tubs of their favourite toppings, you provide base, ton sauce and normal cheese. Make topping the pizzas part of the party.

Call HMRC to discuss the tax issue so they can put it right for next month.

Would DP not be able to buy some party food and a cake? But yeah, for future reference definitely don't pay for your friend so much if it's not reciprocated. She puts herself first financially by only drinking tap water etc unless someone else funds her nights out so don't feel guilty for doing the same.

@Butterflyone12e

Whilst I'm with you on the "don't offer money" point, your silly little jibes of "sell your phone" just ruins your point. It's a stupid thing to suggest when everything is done online nowadays. A phone is no longer a luxury, it is a necessity. If I sold my phone, I would be in a lot more trouble than just going a few days without money. Also, my phone is 5 years old because I don't give a crap about technology, so if I was desperate and you said "sell your phone" my answer would be "it's worth fuck all".

Butterfly said pawn it not sell it.

@Butterflyone12e I will send you my five year old iphone in exchange for some quorn nuggets and vegan cheese. Also if you throw in a tub of Swedish glacé you can have my fake Uggs and tribal tattoo on my lower back.

Thanks @crustycrab she would get the phone back when she has the money for it.

@Mysteriocheerios As for bringing Tories into that's just hilarious. How about spending less time on MN and more time searching for these jobs etc.

@Butterflyone12e I would but I'd rather sit back and watch my flat screen telly whilst my kids have kebabs for tea again as I don't know how to cook.

Would the bank give you an emergency overdraft? It only needs to be £100 - do NOT use all of it. If you are vegan, then you can sort a vegan cake of sorts... but if not, just get a normal one, and the vegan children will just have to pass.

No probs.

The point is that op needs less than 2 quid and has something that she can pawn to get that amount.

Nobody should be sending her money!