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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ds’s friend stayed for sleepover and no ones come to collect him

384 replies

YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 13:16

Ds’s friend (both 10) stayed for a sleepover last night after they went trick or treating together. They’ve been friends since nursery so we know him very well and know the parents fairly well. We don’t socialise with them but the boys often have sleepovers at each other’s house. Sometimes we will do the school run for each other. We always chat in the playground.

Friends df works night shifts so we agreed to have him stay as his dm is away with work. He said he will be back to pick him up today between 10.30/11 as he needs to drop him off at his grandparents before lunch.

It’s after 1pm now and he’s not here. It’s very unlike him. They’ve never been this late before. If ever they were running late they’d always call and let us know.

I’ve tried the df’s mobile several times and left a message. I’ve also tried the dm but hers is just going to vml. I don’t what else to do, if anything.

Obviously, I’ve given the boys lunch and they’re very happy playing video games. Should I be doing something else?

OP posts:
YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 16:32

The best bubble waffles I find are from Creams cafe. Our plan is to jump on a train to Ealing Broadway after the show, go to German Donner and then get to Creams before they close at midnight! We’re really making the most of our night! We’re only about 15mins by train from Ealing so we should be home by 12.30. Parents are staying over.

I know you can drink a little while breastfeeding, I’m just watching my calories and would choose a bubble waffle over a glass of wine any day!!!

OP posts:
milveycrohn · 01/11/2019 16:38

My mobile is set permamently at night to 'do not disturb', rather than silent. The phone is actually in 'ring' mode, but notifications, etc are turned off. The first call is silent. Family who are urgently trying to contact you have to ring twice, and then the phone rings.
This works for us, and my son has called us, while the 'do not disturb' was on, so I know it works.

YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 16:42

hit Post too soon

When the df came, he did seem genuinely mortified and very apologetic. He said it had never happened before and he genuinely thought his db would pick up his ds, as he has done many times before, so was comfortable switching his phone on silent. He explained he was absolutely exhausted with working night shifts all week and struggling to sleep during the day with ds at home. He says he just crashed out and was ‘dead to the world’.

Dh thinks he’s genuine as he was completely startled when he woke up him up and looked very confused. He has called his dw to let her know everythings ok, as well as his parents.

He didn’t really go into it much about his db, apart from saying it’s out of character for him. I think it was just a huge mistake on all sides. The job he does is very seasonal so he’s been doing overtime during the Halloween period. I think he was just exhausted and not thinking clearly.

Anyway, my parents will be here very soon and I am going to do the kids dinner and start getting ready.

Thanks again to everyone who gave me advice.

Also, you all need to try a bubble waffle. I can’t even explain how delicious they are!

OP posts:
diddl · 01/11/2019 17:10

"German" doners are a thing in UK?

iklboo · 01/11/2019 17:16

They are @diddl Smile

Redglitter · 01/11/2019 17:19

I think he is lying. How would his brother know where you live

Are you serious??

Ehm boys father knows OPs address as it's where his son is.

Asks his brother to pick son up therefore - and here's the mind blowingly amazing bit - gives his brother the OPs address

🙄

fedup21 · 01/11/2019 17:24

Glad it's all resolved!

Someone should have told you the brother was collecting though-I would have hated that and probably wouldn’t have let him go with someone I wasn’t expecting which would have been stressful all round!

Span1elsRock · 01/11/2019 17:25

Poor guy must feel really embarassed.

Hope you have a great night OP.

RedskyToNight · 01/11/2019 17:26

probably wouldn’t have let him go with someone I wasn’t expecting

That makes sense for a 3 year old but not for a 10 year old. presumably the boy would have confirmed that the "strange man" was indeed his uncle and often picked him up from places. Not really an issue.

burnoutbabe · 01/11/2019 17:48

Yes boy would know his uncle but he may not know that he is allowed to go with him or not, there may be many reasons why he wasn't allowed to.
I wouldn't have believed him about the brother, it's just an excuse to blame someone else.

Staffy1 · 01/11/2019 17:55

Surprised the grandparents had not been round to his house before you.

runawaywithusthissummer · 01/11/2019 18:00

I think he is lying. How would his brother know where you live

My god some people are hard of thinking Hmm

RedskyToNight · 01/11/2019 18:06

Yes boy would know his uncle but he may not know that he is allowed to go with him or not,

he would know if he was regularly picked up by the uncle (as seems to be the case). he would also know (unlike others on this thread Grin ) that uncle was unlikely to randomnly turn up at the house of an unknown friend where he happened to be having a sleepover, unless his parents had told him he was there ...

A 10 year old is not a baby. If there is someone that "can't" pick them up for some reason, I'd expect them to be aware.

cherrytreesa · 01/11/2019 18:12

Yes boy would know his uncle but he may not know that he is allowed to go with him or not, there may be many reasons why he wasn't allowed to.
I wouldn't have believed him about the brother, it's just an excuse to blame someone else

Now that is really clutching at straws

iklboo · 01/11/2019 18:12

Cancel the brother.

SoupDragon · 01/11/2019 18:13

Glad it all turned out ok!

I can't believe a couple of posters are now accusing the father of lying 😂

Bluerussian · 01/11/2019 18:15

Excellent outcome. What a relief!

GPatz · 01/11/2019 18:44

You do you Redsky and I'll do me.

CallMeRachel · 01/11/2019 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IAmPrettyWisdomous · 01/11/2019 19:14

@CallMeRachel Good job you don't have to believe it. My goodness, some of you are ridiculous with your comments. OP has repeatedly said the family are not CF and help them just as much. There was a misunderstanding evidently, he explained and that is that. Nothing to get worked up over and start making comments like "does he even have a brother" FFS. Hmm

IAmPrettyWisdomous · 01/11/2019 19:18

See posters like @CallMeRachel at a certain point become embarrassing looking for drama and making such horrendous accusations over nothing.

Either been in bed all day with someone he shouldn't be

Seriously, do you not think before you make comments? This was just so uncalled for.

Veterinari · 01/11/2019 19:34

@CallMeRachel

Yes much more likely he’s having an affair rather than utterly exhausted after a week of combined nights and single-parenting. After all what kind of person ‘oversleeps’ in those conditions. Especially with his history of totally reliable parenting and never being a CF - much more likely that’s all a smokescreen.

You’d be a great Red Queen
Hmm

TitianaTitsling · 01/11/2019 19:39

Does he even have a brother? Oh bloody behave please!!

TanselleTooTall · 01/11/2019 19:42

German Doner is delicious. We have one in the town next to us. The bread is a thin, chewy waffle, slightly crispy on the outside. That's the best way to explain it.
It comes in a right angled cardboard box!

SoupDragon · 01/11/2019 20:02

I don't believe that at all. He sounds like a cf, a chancer. Either been in bed all day with someone he shouldn't be or just felt like a long lie.

Does he even have a brother?

Was it you he was in bed with? Because that's the only rational reason someone would think that based on the posts by the OP on this thread.

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