Three persons worth of sick leave

[SayWhaaaat]

Name changed!

Ok, I may be unreasonable here, I'm not sure.
I work in a job where attention is important and losing focus can potentially result in multiple fatalities at the very worst case scenario. Most likely occurrence is just a small incident though.

Last night I had the worst night sleep thanks to the kids both waking up at various times, about 3 hours total.

I've had sick days recently because my kids had chicken pox and then again cos they had a vomiting bug.
If you have 3 absences in 3 months at my company then you get a disciplinary.
2 disciplinaries = sacking.

Aibu that I can't take a sick day for myself when I'm exhausted for risk of losing my job as I have to have time off for the sickness of three people!
You'd think employers would take it into account but they're very rigid with their procedures.

(Just want to add that obviously if I felt there was any danger at all when at work then I would stop and go home)

The days you took for the children weren’t sick days though were they, they were dependents leave surely

My days off for my DD have to be taken as annual leave or unpaid days; I’m not allowed to take them as sick days most probably because mine would then look really bad.

Do you expect your employer to enable you to have three times as many sick days as those without children?

That would be expensive for your employer.

The error is having the days you took off for the dc as sick leave. They should have been unpaid dependents leave.

They are unpaid days yes.

They still count as an absence though and is counted against me in the 2/3 absence scheme! ☹️

Im surprised they were put as sick leave under those circumstances. At my work if parents are off for children's illnesses they either take annual leave or in some circumstances get special leave

Would it be better to use annual leave when your kids are sick? You have my sympathy op. It's tricky when you have small kids.

@Geminijes
Not at all, a bit of understanding and leeway for a loyal, hard working and long term employee wouldn't be asking for a lot though.

Annual leave is actually assigned to us, we don't get to chose our holidays! (Unless we swap)

Agree with the label of the time off being the problem- I work in the NHS and am allowed a certain number of paid dependents leave (and then additional at unpaid if needed). You weren't ill on those days so shouldn't be viewed as sick leave, and pretty sure your company can't discriminate against you (ie sack you) for needing dependents leave. Can you explain this to your employer OP?

I've had sick days recently because my kids had chicken pox and then again cos they had a vomiting bug.

how can you have sick days when you are not sick?

Gosh that seems harsh OP (sorry hadn't seen your updates when I wrote my post). I'm guessing you're not in the public sector then? That doesn't seem to me as surely that discriminates against you for having children. Id be inclined to look at whether they can legally sack you for having needed time off to care for dependents. Good luck x

• seem fair

@sunnyblue Yes bad wording on my part. They were unpaid days.
Still count in the company 3 in 3 scheme though.

oh, just read the update. are you in a union? I would have a chat with them. Given that it is in many cases the mum who takes leave when children are ill and that most of lone parents are women, I would think they are on thin ice as this is something that will predominantly affect women of a certain age.

and taking time off for dependents is a statutory right. I don't think how they could discipline you because you exercise this right.

What OP seems to be saying is that she's had two days' absence which are counted towards totals including sick leave which seems unfair.

YABU though OP. All parents have to work and continue to look after DCs when exhausted. Has their dad also taken time off to cover their illness?

I'm in a heavily male dominated job, I don't think it's something they have to deal with often tbh!

It seems a bit wishy washy on the gov website for dependant leave, no set times, just what the employer agrees to etc?

Is that 3 occurrences of absence in 3 months ie a period of 3 days in a row (to e.g. care for poxy child) would count for just 1 absence, or would that count as 3?

If the latter (and even the former really with small kids) then they must either sack a lot of people or only hire people w/o dependents.

Basically if a D&V bug enters your home and you have more than one child you'd be screwed.

That doesn't seem fair or right.

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3235
check the last paragraph

I don’t see that it CAN be used against you though. By law you are entitled to parental leave (which in my staff book is even for days off to spend time with kids or allow for visiting family!?!?)
Do you have a staff handbook or policy handbook? If so, have look in there and see what it says about parental leave. I was under the impression that this can’t be shown as any sort of absence so doesn’t have to be declared to future employers.
It’s down to each company if they pay it though as you aren’t entitled to it being paid.

Do you have a staff handbook or policy handbook? If so, have look in there and see what it says about parental leave.

it's not parental leave but time off for dependents in an emergency. It's a statutory right. It doesn't need to be mentioned in the handbook as it is her right either way...

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

You are legally entitled to emergency leave to arrange care for children. The amount of time isn't set in stone though.
I think YABU to consider a sick day for tiredness though.

Parental leave is not the same as having days off to care for sick children. Parental leave is essentially a sabbatical that is organised and arranged in advance and is unpaid. There is no such thing as ‘parental leave’ and a company has no obligation to allow a parent time off when their children are sick. It’s basically compassionate leave that is at the discretion of the company.