To spend babies first Christmas " just us"

[bubs80]

Sorry another Christmas one ...

Baby will be 10 months old I want to spend the day with baby and my partner.

Partners mum ,my mom and my sibling were initially coming and cooking which was nice. Then partners mum asked if she could bring along her sibling and wife. We feel this is too many adults and we barely know the sibling and wife so don't want to spend Christmas Day with them. ( for context we have only seen them once this year when I was pregnant )

Now partners mum suggests the three of them eating at her house and then they come and visit . I feel she has missed the point entirely of us saying we want a quiet Christmas as them visiting eating or not is still them visiting ..

What do I do ? Just say no we are having Christmas on our own ? Cancel my own mum too to save awkwardness.

It's up to you, but it seems a shame not to have your baby's grandmas with the baby when they want to be there. This sibling and partner is your partner's aunt/uncle so it's not really a stranger.

Sorry it's his great auntie and uncle , yes I see what you mean just that we live miles away so would be first time meeting them for baby I think Boxing Day maybe more appropriate

Also doesn't seem she wants to be there as said she will have lunch with them instead ..

In a nutshell, Just Say No,OP.
Might you be happy if they came Boxing Day or another day in Christmas week? Have a think and suggest another day that'll suit you?

@OwlinaTree sorry yes it's partners aunt uncle just not much contact at all.

How will your baby know the difference between Xmas Day and Boxing Day?

@Katinski yes I think that's a better idea I just worry that I will get backlash for having my own mum there ... but I know my mum won't bring additional guests

I’ve only ever had Christmas just with my DC and DH, I’d never have it any other way. Fuck family .

@BeaBravo true think it's just more for us , I partner possibly has to work other Christmas with his job

I'd just go with it tbh,I wouldn't want to upset my mum or dhs mum if it was just relatives I don't know that well rather than actively dislike.

@Whattodoabout yes I just need to stop being people pleaser

@OwlinaTree I just don't want to find the day stressful

We love Xmas on our own! We see one side Xmas Eve or before the other side Boxing day or 27th. Xmas Eve night and Xmas day is just the 3 of us and we have a great day. No pressure from anyone, totally relaxed and happy.

Also it might be that dps mum feels guilted into inviting this sibling for Xmas and is trying to make it work for everyone.

@Paythosebitchesnomind269 sounds nice !

I think if you accept presents from GP, you really need to see them. You seem to treat baby like a possession. Will you be doing this every year? My DSis does. It’s all about her and never about our DM. It all feels very selfish to me. Far away from the Christmas story and visitors to the stable!

I think you have to cancel both sides or none tbh. I totally get where you're coming from so maybe one side Christmas Eve and the other on Boxing Day

I can’t imagine Christmas with just immediate family! We have huge parties and always have done so I’d feel completely weird being just being 2/3 people.

Saying that it’s up to you. But I do think Christmas should be spent surrounded with people who love you and your baby.

Don't see a big deal of them visiting after they have eaten. Considering your own mum will be at your home already. Sounds very selfish in my opinion. His mum wants to see her grandchild. 2 more adults (not eating) doesn't sound like a massive drama to me

@BubblesBuddy no my partner will most likely be working other Christmas days. No don't treat like a possession just think the Christmas Day will be stressful

Have you considered being upfront and simply telling her you don't really want to spend Christmas with the aunt and uncle?

Give her the option, come but don't bring them, or don't come - but obviously put to them in a much nicer way! Maybe explain its your first Christmas as a family and you want it to be comfortable and casual, and you don't think you can really do that when entertaining "strangers".

Yanbu, I know the feeling as I hate spending Xmas with anyone other than my kids.

I think yabu unfortunately. You don't get to control things to that degree. Open your heart & home and roll with it. Let the grandma /great uncle etc see the baby after they've had dinner- or why not pop tp see them with baby?
Or if you want xmas dinner cooked for you, you may have to accept the extra people gracefully.

It won't be a lovely relaxing day anyway, you will have been up all night with a teething 10m old - things never go as planned. Let it all go.

You'll probably enjoy some visitors in the evening. Christmas day can be long.
It is your choice.
Keep in mind you'll set the standard for the DC to only have immediate family at Christmas.
Once he has a wife and DC it'll be you off the list. 🎅

I do have anxiety so I would be on edge if People come who I don't know well especially as my first one as a mum feel they be judging me ( my issues I know) but this is why I don't think I'd enjoy babies first Christmas if they came. Thank you for all helpful comments !