AIBU putting my DD to bed at 6pm

[cavycavy]

My DD is 4, very nearly five. She is a VERY early riser. All her life it has been 5.30/6. But at the moment 4.30am is has become our new normal (and this was before the clocks changed). I think part of the reason is that DH is up at this time during the week and he must be waking her (he is as quiet as he can be). At the weekends when DH wakes up at 7ish DD still wakes up at 5.

As a result I put her to bed at 6. Any later and she gets over tired and really struggles to settle and then still wakes at 4.30 anyway.

Part of me worries she’s only getting 10.5hrs of sleep at night (shouldn’t it still be 12 at this age?) and part of me is just SICK of waking up this early every day. I go to bed at 8 to compensate and feel I have just enough sleep.

So what do I do? Accept this is how it will be for a while and go with the flow? (I like the ‘path of least resistance’ approach to parenting so this is what I’ve done so far). Or should I try and play around with bed time? Or have some kind of gro clock system in place?

My daughter, as it happens, also appears to be going through a massive clingy separation anxiety phase (maybe because she’s just started school - although she really loves it) and I think staying in her room alone for an hour in the morning would be torture for her at the moment.

Or maybe this is normal and children are programmed to wake up at stupid o fucking o clock in the morning?

WWYD?

This is huge m8, I had the worst night last night and am now starting to think my partyhard baby is ready to be weaned just shy of 6months.

Gulped a 200ml bottle at 0330 after shinning one litre in the day. Only then did she manage to fall asleep

That is fantastic well done, you'll both have a better day having had a good night. This is the new normal 😊

Oh sorry to hear that.... I can literally feel your tired frustration. I know it’s a fruitless thing to say (since my DD is nearly 5!!) but it will get better and almost certainly your baby will go through phases of sleeping loads. I can remember a few months when my DD weaned off the boob onto bottles (at 9 months) and she was sleeping for 13 hours a night!!! You MUST cling on to that hope.... It’s the only thing that will get you through the delirium of a sleepless night!! I think I banker enough sleep in those nights to last me up till she starting waking crazy early when she was 3.

Believe it or not, we are trying for another baby. I think this might be a sign I am clinically insane!!!! Lol

@Turtletotem that is what I have decided too! Our new normal!!

I may still soundproof our doors, just because it will take some pressure off DH tiptoeing around at 4.30am everyday!!

I think once you get her used to waking at 6am or later, the 4:30 wake up of your DH won't be a problem. Our DC wake up at around 7:15 but if one of us is up at say 6:30, that will wake them. However, I could drive a lorry filled with gravel into their bedrooms at 2am and they'd sleep straight through it. I think for at least an hour or so before they wake up for the day they are sort of half awake.

My 6 year old goes to bed at 6.30pm in the week days because we are up at 6.45am for school. On friday and saturday nights he stays up til 7.30 or 8 and sleeps in until 8 or 9. You need to be firmer about the early wakings OP. At 4, nearly five, your child should be old enough to understand that 4.30am is still night time. Inform it's still night time, tuck them back in and leave. Set a time you're willing to allow as 'morning' (for me it's 7am on weekends) and don't let your child leave their room until that time. It'll click faster than you'd think :) Get a clock and colour in the 'morning' zone with green pen so your child can see if it's morning or not without waking you. Good luck!

That's great, OP! I remember what a difference it made when our DD2 stopped waking up at 5am. I hadn't realised just how exhausted I was until it stopped happening. It was as though a light had come on!

DD2 did still wake up early sometimes (she's always been prone to spells of disturbed sleep), so don't be downhearted if this happens. But it's not nearly so bad when it isn't all the time. And you'll need to stick to your guns with a later bedtime and telling her that it's still nighttime. She will get there, especially as she'll be tired after being in school full time.

Good news!!
Re white noise, we still use white noise for our 5yo and 2yo purely because it blocks out other noises.

We also still use white noise for our kids (9 and 5). They love it and it has got us through all kinds of noisy situations!!

Today.... 6.30!!!

She was asleep, I think, by 7.45. So loads later than her normal bedtime but we had a lovely relaxed evening together as a family. Definitely the way forward!!

Fantastic you've cracked it 😀

Yay!!

Brilliant! DD easily gets 11.5 hours per night, but talking to other parents in her class, it's clear most of them are in the 10-11 range so sounds like this is your DD's requirement too. Well done on cracking this!

AMAZING

Mine went to bed at 6pm until they were about five then I increased it to 7pm. They’re 6, 8 and 9 now and in bed by 8:30pm. Seems reasonable to me with an early wake up. My eldest has always been an early riser too so I feel your pain.

thats more sleep then my 4 year old DS gets so I wouldn't worry. If she goes to bed at 6pm then why not

I’m SO glad this seems to be working out for you OP. I couldn’t cope with early starts like that. Sometimes later bedtimes don’t translate to later mornings but clearly she’s almost ready to wake when her dad gets up - hopefully she’ll now still be in deep sleep when he’s moving about ah ridiculous o’clock!

Glad to hear your dd is sleeping later now ,must have been terrible .
I’m a pretty strict parent but we’ve always let dd naturally find her own routine and it’s worked out quite well, She never went to bed as early as 6 though !
She’s 8 now and goes to bed at 9pm she gets up fine at 7/7:30 in the week so we’re happy for her to go at this time .
Hope it carries on for you !