To tell others when my husband upsets me?

[Blondieblond]

So my husband had family members flying in and wanted to impress them.

He asked me to reserve a table at a fancy restaurant. We're broke but i say YES.

He went out all day to take them to touristy places and asked me and the baby to meet him at the fancy restaurant. Half way accross london, teething screaming baby, public transport, rush hour - but i say YES.

Get there hes not there. He asks me to come out - freezing cold - and find him and family as they are lost. Already had sat down, settled baby but i say YES.

Found them, in the restaurant now. His family starts ordering the most expensive things of the menu. He then whispers to me that i need to transfer him money. AM LITERALLY IN OVERDRAFT - BUT I SAY YES.

Baby falls asleep. Hes finished eating. I havent eaten at all. Ask him to hold baby and he says NO.

Ask him to excuse himself for a quick chat he says NO. Hes busy impressing family. So i get up. With baby and leave using the. money i was going to transfer on a uber instead, all the way home. Still in overdraft lol.

Was i unreasonable!

why are you

(a) with him
(b) never say no you are asking too much
(c) the one who transfers money

Put your baby first he clearly isnt

YANBU sounds very selfish to me Op. I hope you and baba are okay x

You are unreasonable for staying married to him.

You say yes far too often . Learn to say no .

Did he want you to transfer money because he wanted to look like king dick and wouldn't be able to bear people thinking his wife had to pick up the bill?

No. Is he not British? I'm asking that because the whole "impressing family" thing seems cultural. His wanky behaviour needs sorting out.

LTB really

He is not british! And apparently, i cant talk to him when he is with family that is massove disrespect

Omg he needs to be let go.

Good for you for leaving.

Learning that I say yes wayyyy to much!

What culture confines a wife not being able to speak to her husband in front of them?!

I think this is a cultural thing and thats your issue

Condones *

@munzero I can think of a few but dont want to be accused of being racist

I literally think hes making that up and hiding behind culture and it really pissed me off!

Well done you!

The impressing family thing at all costs is a big thing in a lot of cultures. My ex was from one of those cultures and it can be a lot of pressure.

No way does it excuse his behaviour though. Planning a whole day for the benefit of showing off to visiting family without any concern for you or the baby is inexcusable. You need to have words about that. Do it out of earshot of the family if you need to but do it.

So did he pay for the meal? Or was his card declined?

Fuck him.

He's going to be very angry when he comes back. Will you be safe at home?

Stop saying yes all the time.

Pathetic man.

YANBU he needs to understand your culture, one where women say no.
It's ridiculous when these cultural things only go one way.

Did he not want to hold the baby specifically in front of his family but he does when he's alone with you, or is this normal behaviour ?

The impressing family thing at all costs is a big thing in a lot of cultures.

And from the rudeness of them ordering the most expensive things of the menu it sounds like they are from one of these cultures. It seems inexplicable to me - I would order one of the cheapest things if someone else was paying, I would feel rude ordering expensively.

Op did you know about his culture before you had a baby? Just trying to understand if all this is a total surprise as I’m wondering how you had a baby with someone whose culture you knew nothing about. Or is it that his family are just really rude and he can’t stand up to them so is hiding behind some made up ‘cultural’ issue?