To tell others when my husband upsets me?

[Blondieblond]

So my husband had family members flying in and wanted to impress them.

He asked me to reserve a table at a fancy restaurant. We're broke but i say YES.

He went out all day to take them to touristy places and asked me and the baby to meet him at the fancy restaurant. Half way accross london, teething screaming baby, public transport, rush hour - but i say YES.

Get there hes not there. He asks me to come out - freezing cold - and find him and family as they are lost. Already had sat down, settled baby but i say YES.

Found them, in the restaurant now. His family starts ordering the most expensive things of the menu. He then whispers to me that i need to transfer him money. AM LITERALLY IN OVERDRAFT - BUT I SAY YES.

Baby falls asleep. Hes finished eating. I havent eaten at all. Ask him to hold baby and he says NO.

Ask him to excuse himself for a quick chat he says NO. Hes busy impressing family. So i get up. With baby and leave using the. money i was going to transfer on a uber instead, all the way home. Still in overdraft lol.

Was i unreasonable!

He has apologised without an ounce of understanding about what he did wrong, what he did to hurt you.

It's a worthless apology.

Ultimately, the apology of someone who can't or won't understand what they did wrong leaves you wondering if you even speak the same language.

It's a form of gaslighting and it has worked - you are doubting your anger and the validity of your feelings:
Sometimes i just need to calm down and not let it get to me.

Otherwise he just brushes my upset under the carpet. Refuses to talk even in private and continues with the we're fine - the perfect family routine.

This can't go on.

You are experiencing an emotionally abusive relationship.

What a catch... I wonder what "cultural" background he's from.

What a catch... I wonder what "cultural" background he's from

Well the OP has been asked but dosent seem that willing to answer. Course thats up to her but she's if unwilling could say so on the forum?.

Math thats what his cousin said. Not what i feel. My feelings are very valid.

I dont really feel comfortable outing his culture but i think you can guess!

I think he is choosing to blame his culture fo behaviour that he knows you don’t believe is acceptable and he has chosen to reject as a condition you both agreed upon to be in a relationship with you and a father of your child.

His behaviour with the choice of restaurant neither of you could afford and at the place was complete and utter wankery. I bet he didn’t admit any of this to his family.