To tell others when my husband upsets me?

[Blondieblond]

So my husband had family members flying in and wanted to impress them.

He asked me to reserve a table at a fancy restaurant. We're broke but i say YES.

He went out all day to take them to touristy places and asked me and the baby to meet him at the fancy restaurant. Half way accross london, teething screaming baby, public transport, rush hour - but i say YES.

Get there hes not there. He asks me to come out - freezing cold - and find him and family as they are lost. Already had sat down, settled baby but i say YES.

Found them, in the restaurant now. His family starts ordering the most expensive things of the menu. He then whispers to me that i need to transfer him money. AM LITERALLY IN OVERDRAFT - BUT I SAY YES.

Baby falls asleep. Hes finished eating. I havent eaten at all. Ask him to hold baby and he says NO.

Ask him to excuse himself for a quick chat he says NO. Hes busy impressing family. So i get up. With baby and leave using the. money i was going to transfer on a uber instead, all the way home. Still in overdraft lol.

Was i unreasonable!

Leave him ffs

You wernt being unreasonable, if i was brave enough id of done the same ( but realistically id of sat there and silently fumed )

Whats he said? Has he text or rang you?

He normally holds the baby all the time, changes nappies and everything. I think its more so i asked. Apparently i commanded him and that was unacceptable.

One of the family members asked me what was wrong before i left. And i said HE upset me and pointed. So i probably made it worse 🙃

I think you started saying no far too late then said you'd send him money and went home. You're both unreasonable really.

He’s going to be livid with you......but I don’t blame you.

Why do you keep saying yes to this tit of a man?

He sounds like a despotic and unreasonable wanker. YANBU.

He's going to be very angry when he comes back. Will you be safe at home?

I agree with this.

OP, will there be others there when he gets back home? If not, and you don't know if you'll be safe, have you somewhere else to go or can you have a friend with you?

I would reconsider your marriage. What an arse.

Hope he had to ask his family members for money, frankly. Maybe he'll learn something.

If he's normally a nice bloke and a good dad/partner but reverts to being a woman-hating prick when his woman-hating family are around, it might be worth thinking of him as someone who comes from an abusive background and is struggling to escape it. People with bullying, unreasonable parents may well struggle to stand up to relatives who expect misogyny, obedience, racism etc and regard a partner from a different culture as a weird alien to be either condescended to or 'tamed'.

How often do you have to put up with his sexist, bullying family, OP?

Are people assuming because he’s from a particular culture he’s going to be physically abusive

Wtf

Some cultures are more misogynistic and more violent towards females yes

Yes i know his culture but i just done subscribe to it. I have visited his country several times. Spent time with his immediate family. They are not flashy at all. They dont even have constant electricity or running water!

Do they believe you are well off?

*don't subscribe to it.

So my parents were also invited to the meal. But they only arrived after i left. Just spoken to them and they said they paid for it all!

Your parents are very lovely. I hope your DH is both embarrassed and grateful and has offered to pay them back?

Is it possible to say where he's from and or what culture this is?

OK if not OP..

He has never been violent towards me.

At home he is not the best, but does take things on (reluctantly). I would say he definitely reverts Deanimated. Have never thought about that before..

Why are you with him?

my face,

LTB seriously OP

He's a pedigree c*nt.

sounds like poor behaviour & communication all round. everything [e.g. if one of you were expected to pay for a large group] should have been agreed on long before you got to the restaurant.

Presumably this was in the past, even if only yesterday, so why the present tense?

You are made to have said, "Yes", to everything and he was unreasonable to expect you to venture out far with a young baby, never mind the money issue.

Tackle the old man firmly and then work out what you want from your relationship.

It happened today this evening.