DH Shaved his head

[PennyHoffsteader]

I hate it. He used a beard trimmer to shave it all off. I can't even look at him. He had such beautiful hair, and now it's gone. I know it's his hair and it's up to him, but AIBU to be so annoyed and upset?

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace stuff the naysayers. It suits you.

Anyway, gives the excuse to mention Skin from Skunk Anansie.

If eggshell blonde suits you, male or female, all to the good.

I'd be worried about my DH looking like a Neonazi tbh.

I don't think he'd look like a Nazi (not even when bald) but Idk.

Young to middle aged men with a genuinely clean shaven head often look like that to me.

Obviously still depends on their overall appearance and demeanor and I'm probably being judgemental but... It's just so neo Nazi ish to me.

I'd try to be supportive (his head, his choice) but I wouldn't like it either tbh. But I suspect I'd get over having those connotations after getting used to his lack of hair.

Obviously still depends on their overall appearance and demeanor and I'm probably being judgemental but... It's just so neo Nazi ish to me.

OMG I cannot believe the shit being spouted on this thread. You are being judgmental not probably you ARE.

@TequilaPilates Nope. He wouldn't.

My DH is bald due to male pattern baldness. I didn't realise I was supposed to be devastated

No one said that YOU need to be devastated.

My husband knows how much I don't like shaved heads on men, so if he went out and did it I would wonder why. I care about my husband's opinion about how I look and vice versa (within reason).

@GPatz

I'm getting pretty bored of everyone reversing everything, especially when it's not a like for like scenario.

Yeah that pisses me off too. Like someone saying (earlier in the thread,) 'would you leave your partner if their body/looks changed through having an illness, or they lost their hair through ill health?

What a stupid question. Of course I wouldn't! MOST people wouldn't.

There's a world of difference between someone choosing to hack their hair off, (and skin it,) and have tattoos, and overeat excessively and lead a sedentary existence so they gain a lot of weight..... and someone being ill/getting cancer/having to have surgery, and THAT changing their appearance. It really fucks me off when people come out with that ridiculous comparison, because as you say, it's a completely different scenario.

It's like if my husband lost his job because his workplace closed down, or he became ill and had to go on the sick indefinitely, I would support him all the way. But if he came home and said he had walked out of his job because he's pissed off and bored with it, (and he had no other job to go to,) I would go bloody mad.

TBH, I would lose all respect for him for willingly throwing us into financial strife, and it would put our marriage in jeopardy. I could not support a decision like jacking your job in coz you're sick of it, when you have responsibilities/a family/bills to pay. That would be something that would probably be a deal-breaker for me.

Shaved heads feel lovely. So tactile, like velvet.

I think it looks fine too. I quite like seeing the shape of someone's skull and all its weird lumps and bumps but maybe that's me.

If I was pretty enough to pull it off I so would.
Those of you who have posted your pics on here look great.

Of course it's his decision, but there's nothing wrong with having an opinion and a reaction to his choice, and if he knows how you feel and didn't have a "good" reason for doing it, it would be nice if he'd take your preferences into consideration. There's a very big difference between someone shaving their hair because they're balding or going through chemo and someone just deciding to shave on a whim even though he knows you find him much more attractive with hair.

Couples generally want to please one another (within reason). If my husband preferred me with a certain length of hair, I'd probably try to accommodate him, as long as it wasn't too much trouble. I'd expect that he'd do the same for me.

Ultimately, it's his choice, but similarly, he can't expect you to go to any special effort for him, if he can't be bothered to cater to your likes and dislikes.

Depends on the man. My ex turned up once, having shaved his head - I hated it, he looked like an egg with a face. My DH, however, really suits it (good thing, really, as he's getting significantly thin on top, & has bitten the bullet & gone with a buzzcut - he's not quite ready to stick with the shaved look yet).

However I also sport a buzzcut these days. We bought an electric trimmer & cut each other's hair every few weeks. It's a bit of a change from my former style - extremely long!

YANBU to not like it, we all have looks we like or dont

Its when you start demanding that he grow it back and never shave it agin there an issue as, His hair, his choice

I didnt even ask DP when i dyed my hair purple, didnt even cross my mind too
Like he has a beard, didnt need to ask permission to keep it. He has a shaved head now but when we met he had long hair (which i LOVED), when he went to cut it he did ask my opinion. My answer was that my opinion is irrelevant, its his hair and id love him either way

@swampytiggaa

Perhaps in the summer when it's warmer and when your friend's daughter is feeling much better? Sending love to her

CornishCreation The connotation to racisim goes back to the late 70's / early 80's. The skinhead movement, was about dance hall music (so essentially musci that had a black origin - ie Windrush etc) being make more mainstream by Scar. The 2"look" that was associated with that was rolled up jeans, braces, lace up boots and shaved heads. At the time it was a very collaborative music enjoyed by black and white people and many of the bands that played that music were made up of black and white musicians.

In the 80's some of the bands got a bit more punk and got taken over by National front. They adopted the original "skinhead"look as their own and started pairing it with Swastikas and a lot of the doctrine then became anti black, anti muslim, anti anything except white nationalists.

Therefore some people who have lived in certain areas of the country (more industrial parts / major cities / up North) have a connection between National Front , pro Nazi behaviour and the skinhead look.

Personally I love the skinhead look - from its original connotations.
even more for skinhead girls - it looks ace. But because of the way this movement has been misappopriatesd, thats why people still sometimes think shaved head = thug / racisit / bully / violence.

Yabu

It will grow back. Buy him a. Nice woolly hat. Or place a sheep 🐑 in his head baaaaa!

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace that’s what I’m thinking 🙂 in the meantime I’m going to get the straggly bits chopped off this week

@DelphicOracle

I grew up in central Europe. We even used to call Neo Nazis 'Glatze'. (=means bald/bald head in German)

I should probably work on my prejudices but I'd be lying if I said that bald heads below a certain age didn't have that connotation to me...
Even thought they do seem to be less of thing amongst racists nowadays.
The genuinely racist (and violent and sexist) rant I had the misfortune of encountering semi recently came from a non bald man. He did however prominently wear a pretty large Thor's hammer.(