DH Shaved his head

[PennyHoffsteader]

I hate it. He used a beard trimmer to shave it all off. I can't even look at him. He had such beautiful hair, and now it's gone. I know it's his hair and it's up to him, but AIBU to be so annoyed and upset?

This is me. It's got a couple of weeks' growth on though

And I agree, a shaved head on a man often gives the impression of thug

Says who? Are we saying that it's OK to make assumptions and judge people on how they look now are we? .

My DP probably looks to a lot of people like a stereotypical 'thug' being well built and shaven headed - due to male pattern baldness, it really is the haircut that suits him best. I much prefer a very short/shaven look rather than the 'Prince William' style or heaven forbid, a combover.

But you don't have to spend much time with him to know that he's anything but a thug, racist, Brexit voter, football fan or any of the other stereotypical assumptions that people make due to his appearance.

My exH shaved his head twice, both times in a fit of depression. He looked stupid because it didnt suit him. It also made me angry because frankly he looked thuggish and he was trying to get contracting jobs in the City - the "look" didnt help.

However, my current DP has a shaved head and a beard, and i love his fuzzy tennis-ball head. Go figure.

Nice legs , you have lovely small features so can absolutely pull off a shaved head..
Think it really suits you.

I liked the shaved head look really but do agree on certain men can look thuggish so I get why you are upset .

Personally I fecking love a shaved head.... I think it sexy but then I quite like that skinhead look (not as in NF misapproriation of skinhead culture). My DH is thinning and I cant wait until he shaves it off. I love how it feels and looks... but anyway personal preference itsnt really the issues...

Fact is if OP cut her hair drastically and DP came on here to say she was angry with her, couldnt even look at her, didnt fancy her and was so upset there would be fucking outrage! I get really really sick of the double standards on this place.

its his hair - presumably you love him for reasons other than this? I fancy DH pants off but there wouldnt be much he could do to stop me fancying him... Personally I think you are being hysterical, cruel and faintly ridiculous - sorry OP

@Crazycrazylady

Thank you SO much. What an absolutely lovely thing to say. My family hate it (but have finally given up telling me so) and I get precious few positive comments. I love it though, so ..... it's staying

@PennyHoffsteader Of course YANBU to be a bit pissed off. I never get this attitude from some, that he can do what he wants, it's his hair, it's his body, it's his life etc etc etc.... Same is said when a woman wants to cut her hair short, shave her bush, or have a tattoo; people flock on here to say 'your body, your rules, la la la...'

When you're in a couple, a partnership, a MARRIAGE, I fail to understand why people think it's OK for one of the couple to do what the hell they like, without consulting, or mentioning it to their partner. If I was to think about having a tattoo and having my hair cut to a 'number 3' all over, you bet I would run it by my DH, to see what he thinks. Just as he would with me, if he were thinking of doing anything similar.

It's not a case of having to get permission from your partner/spouse; it's just common decency to mention it FFS. DH married me with no tattoos, long hair, and slim. If I put 8 stone on, and had my hair cut short, and had a neck tattoo, he would not be happy with how I looked, as that's not what he married, and what he was attracted to.

Same if HE got neck tattoos, shaved his head, got facial piercings, and gained 8 stone. I would not be attracted to him then, as that's not what I married.

As I said, I don't understand this mentality that it's OK to do whatever the fuck you want to yourself, without mentioning it to your LIFE PARTNER, and father/mother of your children. It's bizarre, and suggests that you don't value their opinion or input, and quite honestly, it suggests you have very little respect for them, as you don't give a shit about their views and opinions.

Also, a 'shaved head' is not 'sexy,' (IMO,) and very few people can pull it off. IMO, it's mostly physically attractive people (with a normal BMI,) who can pull it off. (And of course it's OK to shave it if you are going bald, as it looks better than a comb-over...)

Oh, and I don't think anyone looks like a 'thug' when they have a shaved head, nor do I think they look like a 'racist,' (PMSL to the poster who said THAT!) But I DO think it looks shit on most people.

Have to agree with some of the others. Its his hair and his choice.Those all saying they would be upset, would be singing from a different tune if the genders were switched.. He would be called controlling and manipulative.
Whether you like it or not , you should still be supportive. I would suggest you say your prefer his hair long but that he still looks great if you must.

As a man with a shaved head I'm now wondering if perhaps people perceive me to be a thug? I thought this kind of attitude died out in the last century but seemingly not?

I'd love to have the guts to shave my head.

@thisneverendingsummer

Well said

As a man with a shaved head I'm now wondering if perhaps people perceive me to be a thug?

I, for one, definitely do not

mine completely shaves his head (balding), you would be amazed how many people assume he is racist because of how it looks - some of the comments racist people have said to him as they wrongly assume he is the same is awful

This is so bizarre. It must be something to do with the area you live in? My DH shaves his hair to a number 2 (due to receding hairline) and has a beard and is covered in tattoos. Nobody has ever suggested to him that he is racist!

I preferred him with longer hair, but when it started receding and thinning on top he preferred to shave it and I accept that. I'm always moaning about having to wash and care for my curly hair and he always tells me to shave it off! Thinks I'd look good with a shaved head!

Personally I can't imagine not finding someone I'm in love with attractive just because of something cosmetic like a different haircut.

Love the people saying use sex as leverage

Fucking hell

Hahah I get privately upset when my hubby shaves his beard, he can see it on my face and my overly high pitched "it looks fine babe" so he doesnt shave it anymore! Don't need to worry about head shaving as he is already a sexy bald beast.

It’s only hair, it will grow back pretty quickly.

My boyfriend went on holiday over the summer and shaved his head for a job, he went from having nice wavy blond hair to a completely shaved head. It didn’t suit him at all, but it grew back and it’s almost back at it’s original length.

As much as I dislike it shaved it’s his hair and he can do whatever he likes with it.

I’m sporting a huge moustache at the moment for my halloween outfit, he absolutely hates it, but again, my face, my choice.

It'll grow back in a few weeks. Tell him you prefer him with hair, I'm sure he'd say the same if you shaved yours.

Is a naturally bald man unsexy and thuggish looking?

Yanbu. Myself and my partner always confirm hairstyles with each other before going for it.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace you look AMAZING!

It's really not on that you are this upset over it.

It's his hair.

I would be livid if I did something to MY body and DH said I looked like a thug or he had gone off me.

**SellmeyourMLMcrap

As a man with a shaved head I'm now wondering if perhaps people perceive me to be a thug? I thought this kind of attitude died out in the last century but seemingly not?**

I agree with you Smell. Shocked at the attitudes here. My husband is bald and he is sexy as hell and certainly not thuggish looking.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace
You're gorgeous! You really can pull that off. I'm so jealous!! I have a fat round face so would look like a squashed tennis ball !

Must confess, first time I saw my DH, he'd a shaven head and I was scared of him! He did look a bit thuggish. Heck, he looked a LOT thuggish (he has a particular bearing about him too). I was willing him with all my might not to sit next to me in the bar, but he did.....now here we are 14 yrs later with a DD, two ddogs and a lovely home and life. How wrong I was about him that first time. Taught me a lesson.
He no longer has a shaven head, but I don't care what he looks like. I love him to bits whatever.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace absolutely love your hair! My eldest went through a stage of having her hair like yours and she looked stunning 😁

Keep considering it for myself as I always used to have very short hair but then I suddenly went curly so it would have to be clippered off to avoid looking like I have a dodgy perm!

Hmmm... need to have another think as you have inspired me!