DH Shaved his head

[PennyHoffsteader]

I hate it. He used a beard trimmer to shave it all off. I can't even look at him. He had such beautiful hair, and now it's gone. I know it's his hair and it's up to him, but AIBU to be so annoyed and upset?

I would love to shave my head but Ive never had the courage. Nice legs YOU ROCK!!

My husband has shaved his head for years, when he began to go really thin on top. I loved his hair so was disappointed, but it didn’t make him any less of the man I loved even though his mum said it made him look like shriek!!! Likewise beards. I don’t like them much but he has a facial blemish that he really wants to cover up and who am I to deny him that? After all these years he doesn’t look ‘right’ without one! He was disappointed too, when I got my long hair cut to a pixie. Few marriages have no disappointments in them but he’s still your husband. Check out why he did it though. As others have said, it could be a symptom of depression. Either way, it will grow.

Not really sure how to answer tbh.

If you're determined to judge someone based simply on their looks, their bald head to be specific, then I guess you have to consider whether you would be ok with people judging you based solely on your looks?

How is it related to being racist? Lost here!

I really can't believe this thread. I'm 50 soon. I've already decided, with my hairdresser, that I'm dyeing my hair shocking pink.for the occasion.

Have I discussed it with my husband or even told him that I'm doing it? Nope, because it isn't his hair. If I want the right to do whatever I want with my body then I have to accept that others have the same right.

'Imagine of this was reversed - my wife's cut her hair, and now I can't look at her, I'm so upset and angry'

I'm getting pretty bored of everyone reversing everything, especially when it's not a like for like senario. Would my husband be upset if I cut my hair? Probably if I cut it short. Would he be upset and angry if I shaved it off? Yes.

Would he be upset and angry if I shaved it off? Yes.

Then he'd be wrong.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles. I’m sorry you’re going through that 🌷. I think the difference is, that when you have cancer & lose your hair, it’s not a choice and even if you shave it all off it’s done for a specific reason, whereas when someone goes to get it shaved off just through choice & hasn’t discussed it with their partner it’s showing that they don’t care what their partner thinks and because it hadn’t been discussed its cones as a surprise/shock

Your ‘look’ being changed by illness, accident, childbearing or age is not the same as going out and choosing to alter it without giving a toss what your partner thinks &if it’s something they do/don’t find attractive

Obviously you’re body-your choice’ but it’s also the other persons choice to dislike it and to feel hurt/annoyed that you don’t care about their opinion.

Oh for god's sake

I think the shaved head look is fully mainstream now and no longer has ‘skin head’ connotations.
My rationale for that is that when DD1 started at prep school my DH was the only father with a shaved head, by the time DD2 started, 6 years later, it was commonplace.
Thankfully I love the look, think Vin Diesel or Dwayne Johnson.
On the female front Sinéad O’Connor was the epitome of beauty with a shaved head.

Yanbu to dislike it, ywbu to tell him how to have his hair, I find Mumsnet would have a very different opinion if a man said the same about a woman.
I love a shaved head though, I think they’re sexy!

YANBU and also LTB.

Don't worry, it will grow super quick and he will feel the cold and want a bit of hair. I shaved my hair (back and sides) and am feeling the nip in the air.

Those people who think the op is in the right - where do you draw the line?

So, is it only shaved heads you thinks a spouse has the right to veto? Or is it any radical change in hairstyle? How radical is radical? Why only hairstyles, why not any radical change in appearance at all?

It's the thin end of the wedge. Where do you draw the line?

Thanks for all the replies. Been out with the kids for the day.

I can see that my reaction this morning was a bit over the top, but still, he's mentioned shaving his head in the past and asked my opinion. I love his hair, and have always said i prefer him with hair. So he hasn't shaved it. But today, he just came downstairs, asking me to sort out eh back of his head, and i was in shock. It doesn't suit him.

DH shaves his short, shorter in winter as he has to wear knitted hats under hard hats. I am used to it now.

His DB has just shaved his for some unknown reason and has aged about 40 years and looks like a truly befuddled Grandpa Simpson! As a newly single man that probably wasn't the best move!

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

Ah, thank you. I had the jacket made to measure in Vietnam for a ridiculously bargain price. it came with a pair of vibrant hot pink trousers but I've lost a fair bit of weight since the holiday and so the trousers are too big now I still have them though to keep the suit together. I absolutely love the jacket — not something to look at head on if you've got a migraine though — and I wear it to death.

I've lost a lot of my hair and after a lot of stress about it, completely shaved my head but I had some left in the middle so I have a blue Mohican

So sorry to hear that you've lost some of your hair Despite me choosing to shave mine, I wouldn't like it if it fell out and the choice was taken away. But, the blue Mohican ..... WAAAY cool

It would upset me if DH did it too, because his hair is LOVELY - shiny and thick and just so sexy. But all those saying they'd withold sex etc sound horribly manipulative.

Has he asked you what you think? Because all you can really do is be honest and then get used to it if he doesn't grow it back. He may, though, come to the conclusion that he looks better with hair!

It'll be back in 2 months. Fret not.

@NiceLegsShameAboutThe...

You look ruddy amazing and a lot younger than you say. I’m ages with you and not at all comfy in my twice your size skin and would probably be more along the lines of uncle fester than your delicately edgy bald chick . I’d not rock that look.

But lass, you do. A-ma-zing.

Yy @NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace you really do look great.

@NumbersStation

OMG, thank you; you're gonna set me off again

I definitely think I look 52 but fortunately I'm in really good health so I probably feel a little younger.

Today has really made me happy. So thank you, everyone; I absolutely and totally appreciate the kindness of strangers

You should feel happy @NiceLegsShameAboutThe...

It isn’t merely a kindness. It is what it is.

You’ve got this. You really have. Your face and your smile says you’ve got this thing called life sorted.

Tomorrow you should be able to go out knowing it

I'd be very upset if my dp shaved his head and he knows it. That's becouse he has long curly hair and has not had it cut since he was a teenager. He will not go to the hairdressers for a trim. So yea YANBU you like what you like if you liked his hair the way it was then YANBU. Oh when I say long his hair is half way down his back it's beautiful and curly

Yeah, DP just loves it when randoms assume he's a thug or racist because he's been bald since he was 22. Can't beat losing your very long, metalhead's hair almost overnight, getting booted out of your band just as you've got a record deal in favour of a shit guitarist who had hair, have your now ex wife crying over how awful he looked/how people looked at her funny for being with him and then all those strangers saying how ugly he is for something he can't do diddly squat about.

Grow the fuck up.