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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Will A&E call social services??

135 replies

YouDoYou18 · 27/10/2019 15:19

This morning I propped my 4 week old daughter up on some pillows right next to me while I got dressed. She lunged forward a bit and rolled off the bed and knocked her head on the bedside cabinet. I know this is my fault, I should never have propped her up, I’d just given her a bottle and as she has reflux she often vomits a lot so I didn’t want to lay her flat, honestly I never even considered she’d be able to lean forward enough that she’d fall forward at this age.

I’ve brought her to A&E, she seems totally fine but I wanted to be on the safe side as she’s so small, and they’re keeping her in overnight just in case.

They questioned me about how she managed to fall as she’s non mobile and I explained that I’d (stupidly) propped her up with some pillows to avoid her reflux causing her any pain and vomiting and she lunged forward and I just didn’t catch her quickly enough. They’ve said that they’ll have to inform our health visitor and ‘everyone’ to make sure there are no concerns.. are they going to call social services??

Rationally I know social services aren’t anything to be worried about if you have nothing to hide, but I so scared. What if they take her and her sister away? What if they don’t believe it was an accident? I’m sat in the A&E waiting room on the edge of tears absolutely terrified, and I’m too scared to ask anyone.

Please don’t have a go at me for propping her up, I stupidly though I was doing what best for her so she wouldn’t be in pain and it just made everything worse.

OP posts:

Candle1000 · 27/10/2019 15:21

Please don’t worry, even if SS do get involved they will see that this is a one off , they are just looking out for your baby.

iolaus · 27/10/2019 15:22

Any admission to A&E with a child under a certain age gets the health visitor informed - it's standard so don't worry

If there were multiple admissions - or if your story didn't make sense then they may report to social services but I can't see that being the case in this circumstances

AlunWynsKnee · 27/10/2019 15:23

SS are not going to take your children after one common childhood incident that you sought medical attention for. They really won't.

Venger · 27/10/2019 15:24

Unless you've missed out massive chunks of information where you're an A&E regular with frequently injured children then no, social services are not going to take your DC away based on a bumped head. It was an accident. I ended up in A&E with DD1 when she was 2wks old, I laid her on the sofa next to me while I was fastening my shoe lace and her little 1yo cousin decided to shove her off. No harm done but I got such a fright!

It's hospital policy everywhere to let the HV and GP know that you've been to A&E, the most that will probably happen is a phone call from the HV to check everything is okay.

troppibambini · 27/10/2019 15:30

My daughter used to have febrile convulsions and I've probably been through A and E about 20 times.
Every time I would get a call from the hv to see what had happened so if you get a call don't panic it really is just something they so every time.

LatentPhase · 27/10/2019 15:32

If you sought medical attention appropriately, the story fits the injury, then HV will be informed but no more. You are allowed to make mistakes OP!

Disclaimer: if you are always attending or have a history with SS for substance misuse, neglect, DV, this may not be the case.

Hope all is well and you are home soon

ISmellBabies · 27/10/2019 15:32

Don't worry op, we've all done that sort of thing. They'll be informing the hv so that there's a record in case this was a pattern of events or combined with other areas of concern. It's not, so don't stress - I know that's easier said than done.

If you do find yourself worrying a lot about the children being taken away by social services, you might have post natal depression. When I had it I used to worry about this too, it felt like such a real fear.

Worriedmum1511 · 27/10/2019 15:40

I'm sure nothing will come of it. I had a similar incident with my biggest as a baby.

It might be worth getting an angled bouncer just so you can say you have done x to ensure it won't happen again but mistakes do happen. They know this x

Original poster

YouDoYou18 · 27/10/2019 15:40

Thank you everyone, I’m trying to relax after reading all of your replies. We have no history with SS or anyone else. We’ve been to A&E a couple of times with our eldest but only once for an injury, the other two were related to her allergies.

@ISmellBabies
I have been suffering with anxiety a lot since the birth of this babe and have mentioned it to my health visitor at both of the appointments we’ve had so far, but now I’m just worried that if they call SS that will actually look bad

OP posts:

ThisIsSamhain · 27/10/2019 15:42

I once had 3 different children in A&E within a fortnight of each other.

One broken arm. One cut head and my daughter had a massive blister on her leg which I thought was a burn but it turned out to be an allergic reaction to a bug bite!

I was terrified as I didn't know how she got 'burned' and I was so glad the Dr knew what it was.

I was sure my kids were going to be taken!

But they weren't of course.

ThisIsSamhain · 27/10/2019 15:43

BTW my DS1 had jumped off his playhouse slide to break his arm and DS2 was dancing in slipper socks on laminate flooring and hit the deck, knocking his forehead off the TV unit

CodenameVillanelle · 27/10/2019 15:44

What if they take her and her sister away?

100% not, on the basis of what you've said here

Original poster

YouDoYou18 · 27/10/2019 15:45

@Worriedmum1511

I have a poddle pod which props her up just enough while still having her as flat as possible and I usually take that all over the house with me, but I’d left it downstairs and my 13 month old was upstairs with me and she didn’t like being left alone in a room so I decided to just use some pillows, definitely never doing it again now

OP posts:

Confusedbeetle · 27/10/2019 15:46

The most important fact for health professionals is that after an accident you acted appropriately. If a bruise on a tiny baby is not acted on or medical help sought, there would be more cause for concern. You did the right thing after the sort of accident that has happened to many many parents

Biancadelrioisback · 27/10/2019 15:48

Postnatal anxiety is awful. It's not something you can shake either, you just need to get through it with love and support and possibly help from your HV or Dr.
I can't imagine they'd call SS for the accident.
I never spoke out about my PNA as I was too worried someone would decide I wasn't good enough (something I already felt) to be my DSs mummy. I battled through it and only with hindsight can I see that it was my anxiety speaking.
Also, don't blame yourself for the accident. These things happen. My DS had bad reflux too so I get what you were doing. I did the same!

Nousernameforme · 27/10/2019 15:48

You will get a phone call asking you to explain what happened and probably a reminder not to prop her up. I had to take ds to a&e after he bit a lightbulb off the christmas tree. I got a phone call

CAG12 · 27/10/2019 15:50

This is just standard safeguarding procedure

redchocolatebutton · 27/10/2019 15:50

every baby every baby falls down from a higher surface.
especially this age when they are suddenly develop new skills and catch us out.

imo it is a good thing that other authorities get informed.
just go to your hv for a weight check soon and all will be well.

Merryoldgoat · 27/10/2019 15:52

Almost the identical thing happened to me. My DS rolled off the bed which was a bit of a shock as he’d not rolled before.

Went to A&E, he was absolutely fine.

A few days later got a call from the local MASH and they asked a few questions. The lady was very nice and said it didn’t meet the threshold for further investigation and that was that.

It will be apparent that you child isn’t danger and it’s worth them checking up these referrals if they pick up even one child who might be in danger.

In terms of your anxiety, please see your doctor. Mine was so helpful when I went through PND and anxiety after having my baby.

funnylittlefloozie · 27/10/2019 15:54

It might be worth speaking to your GP about your anxiety.

FWIW, when my nephew was little, he was an absolute liability. He fell off climbing frames, fences, the banisters, he broke his wrist playing football, he rode his tricycle into the corner of the shed...My sister was in A&E at least once a month, and she was convinced that they were going to think she was abusing him. She did get a SS referral; a SW came to the house and saw them... and also saw a perfectly happy, ridiculously energetic boy zooming around. She had no concerns (DN fell out of the back door while she was there... my poor sistrr nearly died).

ISmellBabies · 27/10/2019 15:55

Post natal depression is so, so common, I think 1 in 4 mums get it. It won't be a red flag to social services at all, but it can feel like that because that's what PND does to your thought process. Do go to your GP, it's easy not to realise how bad you're feeling.
When I got some antidepressants they really made me feel like myself again. Suchba relief to be free of the worry/ anxiety.

Bracknellite · 27/10/2019 15:55

Please try to rest assured by all the above answers.
We have all had children hurt themselves ‘on our watch’ (mine was remarkable similar to yours).
You feel awful for a while but realise these things happen.
SS will have no cause to take any action.

Reastie · 27/10/2019 15:57

We took ds to A&E when he was 2 weeks because dd accidentally knocked him on the head by dropping something on it. It was us being overly cautious really and they were totally fine and understanding. I got a call from my hv a few days after to check everything was ok and she said they are informed as standard with head injuries. No further ss or follow up but I assume it’s written somewhere what happened. Tbh this is a good thing to make sure children don’t slip through the net with abuse. I’d happily have as chase things up with me if it meant other children didn’t suffer in a vulnerable situation.

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 27/10/2019 15:58

Hope you're feeling reassured. You have two close together - I did too and it's hard work. We've all had similar accidents/incidents, honestly!

As others say, ss are there to stop children falling through the net - it's a good thing there is some system in place to protect vulnerable children - it's not there to have a go at regular parents. Honestly.

If you're anxious, do speak to someone though - I don't mean about this! It can all get overwhelming x

nespressowoo · 27/10/2019 16:00

I'm a HV, OP. We get told about every hospital attendance. I would probable give you a ring to see how things are and nothing more providing there were no other concerns.

And for what it's worth - my son has done the same at the same age

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