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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Will A&E call social services??

135 replies

YouDoYou18 · 27/10/2019 15:19

This morning I propped my 4 week old daughter up on some pillows right next to me while I got dressed. She lunged forward a bit and rolled off the bed and knocked her head on the bedside cabinet. I know this is my fault, I should never have propped her up, I’d just given her a bottle and as she has reflux she often vomits a lot so I didn’t want to lay her flat, honestly I never even considered she’d be able to lean forward enough that she’d fall forward at this age.

I’ve brought her to A&E, she seems totally fine but I wanted to be on the safe side as she’s so small, and they’re keeping her in overnight just in case.

They questioned me about how she managed to fall as she’s non mobile and I explained that I’d (stupidly) propped her up with some pillows to avoid her reflux causing her any pain and vomiting and she lunged forward and I just didn’t catch her quickly enough. They’ve said that they’ll have to inform our health visitor and ‘everyone’ to make sure there are no concerns.. are they going to call social services??

Rationally I know social services aren’t anything to be worried about if you have nothing to hide, but I so scared. What if they take her and her sister away? What if they don’t believe it was an accident? I’m sat in the A&E waiting room on the edge of tears absolutely terrified, and I’m too scared to ask anyone.

Please don’t have a go at me for propping her up, I stupidly though I was doing what best for her so she wouldn’t be in pain and it just made everything worse.

OP posts:
annie987 · 27/10/2019 17:02

I managed to shove my baby off the sofa onto a wooden floor the day after he came home from hospital! Got a phone call from HV or it could have been Ss 2 days later just to ask if all was ok. That was it.

Lovemusic33 · 27/10/2019 17:02

It’s normal practice for A&E to inform health visitor, I wouldn’t worry too much. My dd fell off the bed onto a hard floor when she was a couple months old, she was on the bed with her half siblings and one of them let go of her. It’s normal to be questioned at the hospital, it’s their job to access if there’s any concerns and to inform the appropriate people. Accidents happen and I’m sure you have nothing to worry about x

Bluerussian · 27/10/2019 17:06

I don't know, I think they will just tell your GP and health visitor. It was a one off mistake, your daughter is fine and you're not likely to leave her propped up and unsecured again.

We all make mistakes. Don't worry.

pelirocco123 · 27/10/2019 17:11

My daughter fell off her changing table when she was just a few weeks old .i turned to pick up a nappy ...and she rilled off the bed when she was a few months old .So it is perfectly possible for pre mobile babies to move when you least expect it ....this was over 30 years ago and no ome batted an eyelid...I was constantly at A&E with one or the other, right up intil their teens
My daughter is now going through the same thing with hers ....karma

Drabarni · 27/10/2019 17:13

A friend of a friend dh dropped their newborn downstairs. SS were involved for about a week, neither parent was allowed to look after baby, her mum stayed in the hospital with baby.
After the week they were allowed to take baby home and that was the end of it.
They both had to have parenting classes on how to care for baby for about 6 months. Absolutely no idea why, when others are given a quick chat and all is well. I think it depends on the social worker tbh.

formerbabe · 27/10/2019 17:17

I think they always inform the health visitor if a baby goes to a & e. When I took my baby ds there, I got a phone call about a week later from the HV just checking he's ok. Don't worry.

trinity0097 · 27/10/2019 17:19

It’s really really hard for a social worker to take a child from a family. Things have to be so severe and they need to have tried to work with the family first, in most cases. So rest assured they won’t be taking your kids for one lapse in judgment!

Trafalger · 27/10/2019 17:20

Our daughter broke her leg earlier this year. It was a spiral fracture and apparently one of the signs for abuse. The a&e dr asked how it happened (it happened at nursery), we explained, showed the accident report and he was satisfied it had happened the way it was reported but said he still has a duty to report to the HV and SS. We had a phone call and nothing more came of it.

Every child will fall off the bed at some point. Both of mine have!

Sweetpeach3 · 27/10/2019 17:21

Mistakes like this happen to the best of us! It's a simple mistake and you'll find yourself in a and e a lot more as your children get older. It is a standard procedure now so they may come visit you to make sure your DD is okay but other then that don't worry.
My Ds fell of the sofa when he was 6 months old ish. He was propped up as I ran to get my work shoes from the front door (2seconds away) he's gone to grab something am gone off the sofa. Luckily it was a low sofa an their was a huge fluffy rug underneath so he didn't harm himself but wow iv never ever ever felt so shit as a mum! I went to work crying my eyes out and all my clients told me their story's an it's supprising how often these things stupidly happen.

Hope your okay, go home get a nice relaxing bath an a cuppa in bed x

PineappleLumps · 27/10/2019 17:30

They’ll likely phone you for a chat, it’s an accident they happen don’t beat yourself up x

WTCT · 27/10/2019 17:31

I have two adopted children.

There were pages and page of events (described on a written report) that occurred before the children were removed. Most of them were deliberate. Many were observed by third parties. But none, alone, met the threshold for removal until one particular horrific event.

PLEASE try not to worry about this... I know it’s easy for us to say, but honestly... courts (not social services- they have no power to remove children) are not queuing up to remove children from loving parents due to one accident. If they were, no one would be able to keep their children.

RageAgainstBojosHalloween · 27/10/2019 17:31

Sending you a massive unmumsnetty hug lovey Brew Cake

butterandbread · 27/10/2019 17:33

My 8mo recently threw herself off the sofa onto hard flooring when I turned my back for two seconds. We have a very deep sofa and she was sat right at the back playing and with the nappy bag in front of her as we were about to go about. It was completely unexpected and I felt awful, guilty, and embarrassed, but we took her to A&E, they were incredibly kind, assured us there was nothing to worry about, and to my knowledge, never contacted SS or even our health visitor, so please try not to worry, OP!

Andsoitisjust99 · 27/10/2019 17:43

I've had a HV call after going to A&E with my child, we talked on the phone and no further worries/action... I do sometimes think that given the huge, huge proportion of parents who get these sort of follow ups and the real stretch on public services that it would probably be better for these sorts of records to be available to HVs but not requiring their follow up unless their are other issues to be flagged.

My child injured themselves in a pretty standard way, but had I actually hurt them, a phone call would have achieved nothing really! So it is a waste of resource and cause of anxiety.

Anyway, hope all the messages reassure you that lots of small children get injured, you aren't a terrible parent and no one will think you are.

RosieLynn · 27/10/2019 17:46

Social services, if contacted, will quickly see that there's nothing to worry about.

But it's important that the system checks up in every case just to make sure that no child falls through the cracks.

GleamInYourEyes · 27/10/2019 17:58

All injuries to non-mobile babies have to be referred to social services - it's just a standard thing and no reflection of the A&E staff making a judgement.

You'll almost certainly be contacted by your HV and possibly by a Social Worker - but just be open and honest and explain how you will ensure it doesn't happen again.

No one will take your children.

Dieu · 27/10/2019 18:09

You poor thing - hope you and the wee one are ok. We've all been there, so don't worry Thanks

ProseccoIsTheAnswerHere · 27/10/2019 18:14

Even if SS were contacted, they may well not even get in touch. They’ll probably just leave it on file in case something else was to happen

RuthW · 27/10/2019 18:22

Yes they will inform the HV, gp and ss. Nothing major will be done though as they will see it was an accident. All bruises on non mobile babies have to be reported. I'm the admin safeguarding lead where I work. We would put baby on our vulnerable list, discuss at a meeting and then remove from the list as we realise it's an accident.

pinksquash13 · 27/10/2019 18:27

Please don't panic! If they are called (I'm not sure if they will be) they will not take your children away. They don't ever want to do that. Last resort! Often after heavy intervention from family solutions or similar. Tbh they haven't even got the resources to take away the children that really need to be removed. I'd very much imagine you will not hear from them.

dontcallmeduck · 27/10/2019 18:29

Please don’t worry. The HV will likely ring or discuss it when they next see you to check baby and you are ok after the accident. They will likely go over safety with you too. Social services in our area would just do background checks in that they’d ring, ask HV and GP if there are any concerns then case closed - that is if it’s even been referred in which I doubt.

EstebanTheMagnificent · 27/10/2019 18:31

I hope you’re feeling reassured, OP. SS do not take healthy, well-looked after children away from loving, competent parents. They just don’t. Anyone who tries to tell you an anecdote which purports otherwise is being very selective with the full story.

bigshiplittleboat · 27/10/2019 18:42

I had to take my DD to A and E twice in her first year - once due to unexplained shaking (she’s fine now) and once because she pulled my tea on her (totally my fault). HV rang me both times, sympathised and left me alone. I was terrified after the tea incident!

Dutch1e · 27/10/2019 18:42

You sound like a lovely mum, exactly the kind who will appreciate the processes in place to make a little village for all those babies, including yours.

You have nothing to worry about, you did everything right

Greyhound22 · 27/10/2019 18:43

Not necessarily.

My DS burnt his hand on my straighteners when he was 2.5. Totally my fault. He ran in so quickly and fell and got his hand caught in them as they were on the bed.

They didn't tell me at hospital but they contacted the health visitor and I got a phone call. She was lovely- told me off rightly - but lovely - they weren't concerned that it was anymore than a horrid accident but there are certain injuries that have to be reported - such as burns and I would think a baby of that age would also get reported.