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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Will A&E call social services??

135 replies

YouDoYou18 · 27/10/2019 15:19

This morning I propped my 4 week old daughter up on some pillows right next to me while I got dressed. She lunged forward a bit and rolled off the bed and knocked her head on the bedside cabinet. I know this is my fault, I should never have propped her up, I’d just given her a bottle and as she has reflux she often vomits a lot so I didn’t want to lay her flat, honestly I never even considered she’d be able to lean forward enough that she’d fall forward at this age.

I’ve brought her to A&E, she seems totally fine but I wanted to be on the safe side as she’s so small, and they’re keeping her in overnight just in case.

They questioned me about how she managed to fall as she’s non mobile and I explained that I’d (stupidly) propped her up with some pillows to avoid her reflux causing her any pain and vomiting and she lunged forward and I just didn’t catch her quickly enough. They’ve said that they’ll have to inform our health visitor and ‘everyone’ to make sure there are no concerns.. are they going to call social services??

Rationally I know social services aren’t anything to be worried about if you have nothing to hide, but I so scared. What if they take her and her sister away? What if they don’t believe it was an accident? I’m sat in the A&E waiting room on the edge of tears absolutely terrified, and I’m too scared to ask anyone.

Please don’t have a go at me for propping her up, I stupidly though I was doing what best for her so she wouldn’t be in pain and it just made everything worse.

OP posts:
Disneycrazy · 27/10/2019 20:46

Try not to worry too much! We all make mistakes and the main thing is you took her to be checked, at 6 weeks old I popped my little boy on the bed turned to get his nappy and clothes and he’d managed to roll off the bed, took him straight to the hospital had an x-ray he was fine, they kept him in over night as a precaution. Due to my mental health issues they got social services involved as a precaution... (typical) however I had a quick 10 minute phone call with social and they didn’t even want to open a case. They asked if I needed any support or if I’d like them to come out etc but were quite happy to close the referral. Try not to worry! And glad little one is fine. Hope this helped x

EKGEMS · 27/10/2019 21:02

I once stumbled going down the steps outside my home carrying my toddler and fell breaking his glasses and cutting him and giving him a black eye-rushed him to the emergency department convinced I was the worst mother in the world and would be arrested-none of that happened

nocoolnamesleft · 27/10/2019 21:41

This really is normal procedure for such a young baby. The most common outcome is that there is nothing to worry about, but they're so vulnerable when they're so little that people can't take the chance, and have to look into things properly.

Be honest and try to stay as calm as you can.

Butterbeeeen · 27/10/2019 21:45

I had an accident with ds1 at a similar age. The car seat fell off the travel system and landed upside down on the concrete. I was devastated. They asked lots of questions and health visitor rang a few days later as pp have said but no as involvement.

MintyMabel · 27/10/2019 23:34

DD had a broken leg which nobody could explain. About 6 months later she had a suspected broken leg but turned out not to be. A few months after that we thought she broke her wrist- again no actual break. I was actually a bit annoyed SS were never called. I wonder how many times a child has to have a visit to A&E with suspected breaks and nobody checks.

Heaboosh · 28/10/2019 05:31

God! The amount of times I phoned nhs 24 or took wee man to a&e for an accident I could've prevented. It happens. Please don't beat yourself up. You were doing what you thought was best at the time and that is all you can ever do.

Her0utdoors · 28/10/2019 05:40

I hope you all are home, together now OP? What a distressing time for you all. Flowers

Pixxie7 · 28/10/2019 06:04

It would be far more worrying if you hadn’t taken her to hospital. Also I doubt their are many of us who haven’t taken our eye off the ball with a new born at some time.

JustAnotherMammi · 28/10/2019 06:13

How are you OP?
Once they've checked her over and see no other injuries, who knows there night not even be a trace of this one, you'll be off back home.

Fightingmycorner2019 · 28/10/2019 06:46

Any social workers knows the difference between battery , abuse and neglect and this situation
They HAVE to check you know that . But have a chat and it will be over with Flowers

Original poster
YouDoYou18 · 28/10/2019 07:01

Sorry for the radio silence overnight, baby girl went to sleep quite happily so we got as much sleep as we could ready for today. I’m nervous for the tests at the moment more than anything, her head seems fine and she’s had no adverse symptoms from that at all but she has to have eye drops to dilate her eyes, be sedated for a CT scan and xrays, and possibly have a blood test, all because I propped her up. She’s going to have the worst day of her little life so far and none of it would be happening if I hadn’t propped her up. I feel awful. We will see social services and the police today, and apparently the health visitor has been notified. I’m feeling much more clear headed today, I know they won’t find anything on any tests, I know our health visitor has no concerns as I see her a lot for both my newborn and my 13 month old due to their allergies. They’ve both met al their milestones and have never had any injuries that require hospital apart from once. And I know that had this happened to my baby on someone else’s watch and the hospital suspected foul play and didn’t investigate I’d be raising hell, so I can’t expect them to take my word just because I’m her mother. I just can’t wait for this all to be over so I can go home and be with both my girls. Thank you everyone for your advice and support, it’s honestly part of the reason I’m managing to cope

OP posts:
Candle1000 · 28/10/2019 07:06

Hope it all goes well today , Just know that we’re all thinking of you xx

MummyNeedsDisaronno · 28/10/2019 07:08

Hope it all goes well OP and you can take your baby home soon Thanks

MoodLighting · 28/10/2019 07:14

Oh my God I managed to tip my baby out of the buggy onto the road at the same age. It's horrifying! We all make mistakes, my heart goes out to you.

happyasasandboy · 28/10/2019 07:28

My three D.C. have rarely required A&E, but on the occasions they have it has always been reported to the HV, who has either phoned or popped round to check we're all ok. No further action has been taken since their call/visit.

The HV system is linked to the GP system, and the HV is community based and so is likely to have been in your home and spoken to you at more length than any other medical role. So they try to let the HV know of anything that could even be possibly suspicious, as it's likely that the HV is the one to connect any dots that need connecting. Unless there's more to it than your post, I'd expect a brief call/visit from your HV to offer support and ask you what happened.

Swimtobreathe · 28/10/2019 08:40

Hope it all goes well today OP

VeganCow · 28/10/2019 09:19

Mine fell out of bed at 6 weeks, when I fell asleep feeding. Luckily she barely woke up but it was a scare. You will be fine. A&e see this all the time, professionals do know the difference

Original poster
YouDoYou18 · 28/10/2019 10:26

Okay we’ve spoken to the consultant (along with various other doctors and nurses present).

She’s heard what has happened, looked over baby and said she can’t see any reason to be concerned. You can’t even see the mark on her head this morning, she totally understands how it happens and agrees with me that while I was trying to do the right thing it was just a silly mistake.

She asked about our history and said that she’s looked at her medical notes etc and she feels happy, but as social services have been called she’s not sure if they’ll still want to have all these tests performed and come in to speak to us.

The consultant last night said the consultants were going to push for tests and that we probably wouldn’t be out of here today so even the fact that they can clearly see this was an accident has made me feel so much better.

Please keep your fingers crossed that she doesn’t have to go through all these tests, I will understand if she does but I also just want to avoid any more discomfort and stress for her.

OP posts:
Swimtobreathe · 28/10/2019 10:52

I can imagine that feeling believed must be a huge weight off OP.
Ultimately the decision about the tests will be the paediatrician - police and social services would usually get to have a say, and offer any reasons for/against, but it's a medical decision that the paed makes. In my experience as a SW we used to have to push quite hard to get further tests done (even in cases of clear neglect). I presume there's guidelines for the medics for a threshold of 'neccessary'.
Usually though when as SWs we want further tests done it's because we've got worries but not evidence of them - eg when we've suspected DV or poor supervision/previous injuries that were assumed accidental. In my experience police tend to be happier to take a back seat on this bit but would push if their checks suggested something untoward/previously unknown. Neither of which sound likely from what you've posted.

Be prepared that (particularly if tests aren't done) SS may ask for you to be involved temporarily, or ask other people in your support network to be around, so that they can be satisfied about your parenting. It might not happen, but it may well be discussed.
Hope little one is ok and that you're able to spend time with them.

TulipsTwoLips · 28/10/2019 11:08

You sound like a lovely person and a lovely mum! 💐 Hope you are soon home and this unfortunate accident totally behind you.

nespressowoo · 28/10/2019 11:13

Oh gosh OP - what a worry for you. Fingers crossed they see sense

Sallyseagull · 28/10/2019 11:24

Please dont worry or blame yourself accidents happen.

My DS went through a phase of about 8 months when he was so accident prone and had to go to a&e twice. Neither time did anyone visit me.... however, had they they I do take the frame of mind that it's better for them to check up and be safe, not sorry, as another child may actually be in danger so it's best to review if they are concerned at all.

EmploymentIssues · 28/10/2019 12:23

That sounds promising OP. At least the consultant understands hopefully they will talk to social services and the tests can be avoided

Nacreous · 28/10/2019 18:18

Hope it's all okay OP and you are home with your little ones now Flowers

EmploymentIssues · 28/10/2019 18:22

Hope you are ok op x

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