Will A&E call social services??

[YouDoYou18]

This morning I propped my 4 week old daughter up on some pillows right next to me while I got dressed. She lunged forward a bit and rolled off the bed and knocked her head on the bedside cabinet. I know this is my fault, I should never have propped her up, I’d just given her a bottle and as she has reflux she often vomits a lot so I didn’t want to lay her flat, honestly I never even considered she’d be able to lean forward enough that she’d fall forward at this age.

I’ve brought her to A&E, she seems totally fine but I wanted to be on the safe side as she’s so small, and they’re keeping her in overnight just in case.

They questioned me about how she managed to fall as she’s non mobile and I explained that I’d (stupidly) propped her up with some pillows to avoid her reflux causing her any pain and vomiting and she lunged forward and I just didn’t catch her quickly enough. They’ve said that they’ll have to inform our health visitor and ‘everyone’ to make sure there are no concerns.. are they going to call social services??

Rationally I know social services aren’t anything to be worried about if you have nothing to hide, but I so scared. What if they take her and her sister away? What if they don’t believe it was an accident? I’m sat in the A&E waiting room on the edge of tears absolutely terrified, and I’m too scared to ask anyone.

Please don’t have a go at me for propping her up, I stupidly though I was doing what best for her so she wouldn’t be in pain and it just made everything worse.

It happens to most of us at some point, please try not to panic.

Within the first five weeks of living with me (adopted toddler) we went to A&E four times.

1. Button stuck up his nostril
2. Head injury, due to my excellent parenting skills I managed to hit him on the head with a radiator.
3. A suspected dislocated shoulder after I grabbed him when he rolled off my bed.
4. He tripped over at a friends and hit his head on the corner of the skirting board.

I only received a phone call for number 3, I just had to explain what had happened, but my HV and social worker were told about 2 and 4.

My husband was changing the baby at 2 weeks and baby wiggled and hit the back of his head against a shelf on the way to the changing table. I was having kittens about whether the baby was ok and also whether SS were going to take him off me. Two HVs and three doctors have seen it (the mark has lingered on the back of hiss head for 9 weeks despite being mild) and none of them have even said anything.
It's easy to catastrophize when you feel guilty (I do it all the time), but try not to beat yourself up over it. I know that's easier said than done.

Anti-reflux milk is incredible, btw, and it's available in the supermarket. If you're bottlefeeding expressed milk, there's carobel which can thicken the bottles instead.

You’ve done nothing wrong - you won’t prop her up again on pillows- but you didn’t intend to hurt her and have done the right thing taking her to A&E.

SS isn’t going to take her or your 18mo away unless there’s a lot you’re not telling us!

For social services to take children it’s the very last resort. This will not happen Op! Don’t worry and focus on your BaBa everything will be okay x

I completely agree with you all about stopping children fall through the net, I’ve said on so many occasions that I’d rather everyone was checked 100x over than one baby gets missed, it’s just something about it being us that has sent me in to panic mode. I’ve been considering going to the GP more than once since birth but sometimes I feel so normal that it feels silly too. I had a sepsis scare at 3 days PN and honestly I think that’s where everything got bad, I’ve just been trying to wait it out

As everyone else has said there is no need to worry.

One of the reasons this is done is because it occasionally happens that a child that has been neglected or abused by one parent is taken to different hospitals by the other parent, trying to get care without raising alarm. If everything is reported back to the HV she has an overall picture. This is clearly not the case with you.

I don’t think there are many babies that have not slipped from the grasp at least once. The fact that you took her to A&E is a good sign, you did not try to cover up what had happened. Informing the Health Visitor is standard procedure. SS are chock a block with neglect cases and a mishap like this will not trigger a visit.

I know how awful it is to suffer from anxiety. There is no logic to our thought processes.

Sorry op I hope little one is fine. The nurse called my HV because she didn't agree with me cosleeping... My HV was laughing as I was safe had the cod attached to my bed I don't drink or smoke etc lol

One of mine fell off the bed at 5 weeks. We were actually in hospital for other reasons at the time. So he fell from a high hospital bed into a hard hospital floor. When we got out the health visitor called to ask what happened, I told her and never heard anything more about it.

Don't worry, they may just want to check your child safety knowledge and that will be it.

My DD had a seizure and fell down the stairs while staying at my mum's when she was little and DH and I were out for my birthday, and I got a call from social services. I wasn't too surprised.

They asked about things like why there wasn't a stairgate and I explained DD was 4 and didn't need one anymore, and her brother still wasn't able to get out of his cot, so we didn't use one at the time at home or at mum's. I think they just wanted to check my mum wasn't a doddery 92-year-old with an unsafe house where I was leaving my kids all the time to go out on the lash or something!

So they're just being cautious and checking it's not a worst case scenario, not trying to prove you're a bad mum

They said they might be back in touch if they needed to know anything else, but they never were.

Hi Op, I’m a social worker and even if this came through to us we’d definitely not be removing your children. You’ve done the correct things both in going straight to A&E and in discussing your anxiety with your HV.

Try to relax and not worry about it and I hope your little one is well and back home soon.
And if it makes you feel better, I walked into a door frame holding my two week old Ds. Just completely misjudged the opening or forgot I was holding him or something, but I banged his head against the frame. He was fine (also did a A&E trip) I was devastated.

They honestly won't take your children away from you for this one accident OP. There has to be severe and ongoing abuse and/or neglect for them to even consider that. You would honestly be amazed at how bad it has to get for children to be taken away.

It's possible they may refer to SS, I had that happen many years ago when we had literally just relocated back to the UK and DS1 (then 2) pulled a hot drink onto himself and sustained some minor burns. The fact that we weren't registered with a GP (as had just arrived in the country) raised some concerns with A&E but SS just rang us, checked out what had happened and why we weren't registered, and that was that. So even if they do refer please try not to be worried. The fact that you took her to A&E to be checked even if there was no visible injury shows your level of concern and your parenting.

Very likely someone will come chat with you. You will explain how it happened and that you immediately sought medical attention.

Nothing bad will happen from this.

After dd was born, my anxiety went through the roof. I worried about her getting hurt. I worried that if I wasn’t a perfect mother social services would come. Once she started crawling, I even worried if I left her on the other side of my child-proofed open plan living/dining/kitchen area that she would somehow learn to speed crawl and launch herself into the oven when I opened it to take out dinner.

Don’t be me and let it linger to the crawling stage. Go to your GP, tell the GP you have anxiety, and you would like to try meds. One low dose pill and my whole life changed.

They will inform the HV. They did when my son dislocated his elbow aged about 2 when out with his dad. The went in opposite directions at once and out it popped. The a&e dr was able to pop it back and ds was fine.

The hv phoned up, spoke to DH and was lovely. He was quite traumatised by it and she seemed more worried about him than DS!

These things happen. Please don’t worry.

Yep, you'll either get a call or a visit from the health visitor. I had two separate A&E visits with my first child, the first time my HV popped round, the second time I just got a call. No problems either time. It's almost always a formality.

A pre- mobile (and even pre rolling) baby who has “fallen off the bed” is considered to be a very big red flag when it comes to non-accidental injury. SS almost certainly going to be involved, you’re just going to have to tell them what happened.

No they won’t. They will inform your health visitor but that’s completely normal. Your child had an accident, it’s easily done and you done the right thing by seeking help immediately.

Honestly don’t worry. My 3 year old is a regular attender of A&E (even nursery claim she’s the most accident prone kid ever!) and we have never had SS involved x

This happened to my dh who turned round to get nappies and ds rolled off changing station. I was scared of ss intervention and made dh take him to A&E in a different hospital to the one I work in as I was so embarrassed and angry with him for leaving a baby unattended. DS was fine, the hospital were fine with him, the hv did phone but was happy it was just an accident. 8 yes on I realise dh was naive and I've forgiven him it was a mistake, we all make them rest easy

No ss involvement I meant to add, hv was satisfied with our explanation.

Social services might give you a call to go over what happened etc. Make sure you are aware why it’s not advised.

Nothing to worry about

My son rolled off the bed I'd put him on at 3 months. Totally my fault.

I called the GP asking to bring him in as it was during surgery time. They called me back but didn't want to see him which made me a bit hysterical!

Same thing happened at a tiny bit older to my 2nd son.

They will see it was an accident.

Please don't worry.

And as far as post-natal anxiety goes, again that's not a trigger for SS to swoop in on you :) so don't worry about that. I have diagnosed anxiety disorders and have been on and off medication and doing talking therapies for years. Have never had any contact from SS. I'm no risk to my dc (or anyone else).

It happens to everyone OP, don't worry. Far worse for you than it is for the babe. I dropped DN headfirst on a marble floor - still don't know how I did it to this day.

He is now 6 foot 5 and travelling the world.

Even typing this I still feel sick at the very memory. Between you and me, I took a very keen interest in his exam results over the years.

My DD fell out of her highchair at 6 months old and we were told that social services and the HV would be notified. Two days later I get a call from SS, they really upset me tbh, I have no issues with them doing their job but I didn't need to be patronised - I felt like shit as it was and didn't need them to make me feel worse. Anyway they said they wouldn't be taking action this time and I'd get a letter confirming. It will be 2 years in January and I'm still waiting for this letter. If you get a call don't worry, they'll just ask what happened, I presume to make sure it matches up with what the hospital were told.

Believe me, you will not have your children taken away! You made a small mistake that most times would have been fine, it was just bad luck your baby tumbled off. You then reacted appropriately by taking her to A&E. You did the right thing! Yes they will notify your HV, who may or may not get in contact. My (older) baby needed a deep cut in her head glued and I expected a call from the HV but heard nothing. There is a better chance you will hear from the HV as your baby is pre-mobile therefore injuries are more unusual, but don't be afraid, it is standard practice and just a safety mechanism. Actually, the HV knows that it is the baby not taken to A&E that is more of a concern. This is going to be ok, I promise!

It does sound though like you do need to see the GP regarding the anxiety. The sepsis scare shouldn't really be causing you to have anxiety now, especially if you weren't actually ill in the end. Yes it is scary, but lingering anxiety needs to be seen as something that needs looked at by your GP.