To be nervous of friend's dog coming on holiday with us

[Yesanothernamechange]

We've mentioned to a few friends that we have just had a great holiday in a particular holiday park in Europe and that we are returning next year, in case they were interested in coming along too. One of the group, who is absolutely lovely and who we have known for 20 years, has expressed an interest in joining us but have said they would like to bring their dog along.

DD is terrified of dogs, having had a nasty experience with another big dog. Even if she were not, my friend's dog is a rottweiler, and to be absolutely honest, I'm not very keen myself on this breed of dog hanging around with my DDs (one of whom is a toddler and the other of whom can herself can get a bit over-excited when playing and sometimes has to be told to stop shrieking etc).

I appreciate that my friend is perfectly within her rights to have this dog and to take him to anywhere which allows dogs, but I also feel that I would probably avoid encounters with this breed when out and about, in parks, etc I have explained to her that DD is very nervous of dogs and asked whether it would be ok if we were to get houses which were not directly next to each other. Was I rude? She hasn't replied and I am wondering whether I've caused offence, but even if I have, I'm not sure what else I could reasonably have done. What would you have done? I appreciate that the unknown occupants of the cottage next door might also have a big dog, but DD wouldn't be playing with the kids there, so we probably wouldn't encounter it that much.

I've also had a Rottie in the past and agree that they are given an undeserved bad rap. Ours was placid and loyal and didn't jump up at anyone.

I would never have taken him on holiday in Southern Europe though. Imagine the temperature for an animal with such a thick black coat.

And I agree with PP about dogs charging the dynamic of holidays. You can't leave them in your room so you can't go to a nice restaurant for dinner, lots of attractions are off limits and many beaches ban dogs in high season. So what would you actually be doing?

Friend has got this wrong.

Frosted no one said that other digs were not capable of being dangerous. Obviously small dogs bite and can cause damage.

But if a dog was biting my child I would be far more confident in getting a chihuahua off him than a Rottweiler or Bull Mastiff, for example.

I could break the neck if a chihuahua for example.

You might as well say a grizzly bear and a chihuahua are both as dangerous...

I was just trying to make the point that Rottweilers are no more inherently dangerous than any other dog.

There are plenty of dogs a similar size and strength, show strain golden and Labrador retrievers for example.
No one seems frightened of them despite them being responsible for many bites to children.

@Yesanothernamechange BeesKnees4

What a load of bollocks.

DD was attacked by a dog when she was 2 and we are not "allowing" her to grow up with a dog phobia. The dog ripped her leggings before I had to scream and kick it off her. She was running as any 2 year old does and the owner was chatting.

Poor training and poor ownership - and the "just being friendly, won't touch you" does not cut it

OP - No Way. Have your holiday alone.

But they ARE more dangerous.

Not because they are more fierce or aggressive (I believe you when you say they aren’t) but just because they are big and strong.

I think that they have suffered from their ownership. I remember in the 80s they were the choice of dog for those trying to look hard, much like Staffies seem to be now. Lots of bad owners positively encouraging them to growl and guard.

I love dogs, my friend had two rotweillers, they were lovely, nothing but licks but I was still terrified and left as soon as I could. No idea why but I couldn't get past it.

Fair enough don't go on holiday with a dog if your daughter is scared but the breed of the dog has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Every single Rottweiler I have ever met (and I have owned four of them myself) has been a complete softie. The breed is known for being loyal, silly, loving and lazy.

Just adding that in there to help shift this ridiculous, outdated stereotype against a beautiful breed.

Now pomeranians; don't trust the little fuckers.

No such thing as bad breeds, only bad or incompetent owners. Dogs are very much individuals and need to be assessed on that basis. If this dog is well socialised around children and has a responsible owner then this could be a good opportunity to help your daughter to overcome her fear.

Fear of dogs can put children at greater risk from dogs as it can lead them to behave unpredictably around them in a way that excites them further. The Dogs Trust runs excellent education programmes for children who are fearful of dogs, it might be a nice activity for your daughter to participate in: www.dogstrust.org.uk/news-events/news/is-your-child-frightened-of-dogs-dogs-trust-is-here-to-help

You should also talk to your friend about overcoming your own fear too, it's clear you have a prejudice but it would be great for you to meet the dog and to assess it for yourself, it'd be a good opportunity to be proven wrong on an assumption and to make a new friend in the process.

I've known Rotties who are excellent family dogs and dangerous spaniels - just because a dog has a soppy or tough face or reputation doesn't mean it's accurate!

I have a very gentle greyhound, they are not exactly renowned for being aggressive. Even so, when I made the decision to adopt a dog I knew I would have to be mindful of other people, especially those, children and adults alike , who are frightened of them.
I would always be checking with friends if they are happy about my dog coming along, and I am surprised that your friends haven't thought of this!

Bloody hell the amount of sanctimonious people who insist on educating the OP about the harmless nature of rottweilers, and of those who lecture her about the need to cure her dd's fear.
Why on earth should she educate herself about rottweilers? ( newsflash you can never be 100% sure about any dog , and to someone who is terrified the breed is not relevant)
Why should she see this as am opportunity to treat her dd's phobia?
How is someone else's decision to adopt a dog and take him/ her on holiday her problem to solve?
Us dog owners should accept the responsibilities that come with out choices and not expect others to deal with it.

Well said @Bodyposiftw. All of this talk about needing therapy because someone else owns a dog is crackers.

As for this:

No such thing as bad breeds, only bad or incompetent owners.

I'm sure it's true but I'm equally sure it makes no difference to someone being confronted by an aggressive dog while walking down the street minding their own business - they'll just be concerned about the effect it has on them. It doesn't matter.

I used to be terrified of all dogs.
A few years ago I managed to tolerate some. I own a small one , but cannot tolerate a few of the larger breeds including the one you mentioned, especially if off lead.
Don't pressure your daughter, let her find her way in her own time .
You did the right thing, your daughter has to come first.

I'm a dog owner and I am embarrassed about the nonsense people are writing on here going on about their breed of dog or that the girl needs to get over her fear. They either haven't thought about what they are writing or are crackers.

So what that your breed was mentioned. The girl is terrified of dogs for good reason and so no body in their right mind would insist on the child go on holiday with their dog.

Honestly your making dog owners sound unhinged.

This would be a no from me. I'm ok with some dogs but no way to a rottweiler on a holiday! On my own I could may be manage it but it wouldn't be relaxing and a definitely would not attempt it with DC's.

Even staying in different accommodation the dog is going to be coming along (understandably) on days out, which wouldn't work for us.

Apologies if I'm repeating anything
I personally do not think you are being unreasonable at all. You go on holiday to relax and have a nice time. Not to be worrying that there's a huge rottweiler going to be around your child. All the people in the world can tell you how they know/owned rottweilers and how wonderful and gentle they are, however they can also be very dangerous because of their size and power and what they have been bred for. I would not want a big dog of any breed around my child. I own a dog myself and NEVER leave him alone with my child. Although he is a small dog I would not expect to take him on holiday with friends with small children of they were not comfortable with it.

My daughter was bowled over by an overly enthusiastic dog at the beach when she was just under two. She developed a crippling fear of dogs as a result. It took us about six months of careful exposure to other dogs to get her over it. She's three now and doesn't have a problem with dogs anymore. It's so worth the effort!

I have yet to meet a Rottie that wasn't a total gentle sweetie. The two dogs that bit me as a child (mostly my fault) were a golden retriever, a collie and a german shepherd.

Still.. OP you're not unreasonable to want another villa to your friend and her dog, but I would gently encourage you to use this as an opportunity to help your daughter past her fears by controlled exposure to your friend's dog. You don't ever have to leave them alone, simply exposure and reassurance should go a long way. It's no way to live a life, dogs are simply everywhere.