To be nervous of friend's dog coming on holiday with us

[Yesanothernamechange]

We've mentioned to a few friends that we have just had a great holiday in a particular holiday park in Europe and that we are returning next year, in case they were interested in coming along too. One of the group, who is absolutely lovely and who we have known for 20 years, has expressed an interest in joining us but have said they would like to bring their dog along.

DD is terrified of dogs, having had a nasty experience with another big dog. Even if she were not, my friend's dog is a rottweiler, and to be absolutely honest, I'm not very keen myself on this breed of dog hanging around with my DDs (one of whom is a toddler and the other of whom can herself can get a bit over-excited when playing and sometimes has to be told to stop shrieking etc).

I appreciate that my friend is perfectly within her rights to have this dog and to take him to anywhere which allows dogs, but I also feel that I would probably avoid encounters with this breed when out and about, in parks, etc I have explained to her that DD is very nervous of dogs and asked whether it would be ok if we were to get houses which were not directly next to each other. Was I rude? She hasn't replied and I am wondering whether I've caused offence, but even if I have, I'm not sure what else I could reasonably have done. What would you have done? I appreciate that the unknown occupants of the cottage next door might also have a big dog, but DD wouldn't be playing with the kids there, so we probably wouldn't encounter it that much.

Well OP can’t stop her friend from going on this holiday with or without the dog. This family are entitled to book holiday accommodation wherever they like. And OP can’t demand they leave their dog at home, they were clearly looking for a dog friendly holiday so they won’t want to leave their dog behind. It’s possible that now the OP has made them feel very awkward they will withdraw from the holiday altogether, but that will possibly affect the friendship going forward.
I also think parents have a duty to help kids with any phobia and to not pass on their own phobias - I say that as someone who has had to address my own phobias.

Ugh, I hate this 'my dog is more important than you or your DCs' crap.

Of course you love your dog, but that doesn't mean we do or have to put up with them on OUR holidays!

Dogs need attention and aren't allowed everywhere, so the Op would be limited by her friend's doggie arrangements. Why should they have to do this?

Her DD is scared of dogs. That isn't going to change anytime soon.

The Rottie may be lovely at home, but in a strange location with new people, they will be stressed and unpredictable.

The biggest problem with Rotties is how they bite. Once locked on, they are very hard to break free. Why should the Op have to take this risk?

No, I can't see any good reason for the Op to say yes.

rotties is how they bite. Once locked on, they are very hard to break free. Why should the Op have to take this risk?

Oh for goodness sake!
ALL dogs are hard to break free when insistent on biting!
All.
Anyone who ever been unfortunate enough to witness a dog attack will tell you that.

Jaxhog what are you on about? People with dogs are just as entitled to their holidays as you are to yours surely?

And I’m not sure why everyone assumes OP would be restricted by her friends dog? Surely they would look after their own dog and do things with it? I can’t imagine these families envisaged being joined at the hip for the whole holiday, that would just be weird! And the way I read it they weren’t going to be sharing accommodation, they were just going to be staying in the same resort and perhaps meeting up for some activities/ meals?

@Yesanothernamechange I was petrified of dogs growing up like your DD is and this would have been my worst nightmare having a dog next door to me. Your are not being unreasonable at all. The bigger the dog the worse I was. Mine was also a bad experience with a huge dog as a toddler ( I don’t even remember it )

My dog phobia lead into my late teens but as an adult I got over it when I met my know husband and he had two dogs.

I’m quite confident now with them but it’s been at my own pace. However I’m still not a fan of large dogs and I don’t trust dogs full stop around children.

It won’t hold her back as other posters have suggested! All those people with spider phobias haven’t been held back in life have they?!

Let her deal at her own pace.... and don’t stay next door to a rottie!

I love a Rottweiler. But, I know that dog bites are statistically more likely to involve a person outside the dog's "family", and that the risk increases in unfamiliar environments. So unless you know the dog well enough to trust it, then no.

ALL dogs are hard to break free when insistent on biting!

All the more reason not to be around them then, whether on holiday or elsewhere.

But, I know that dog bites are statistically more likely to involve a person outside the dog's "family"

Not true.
Statistically it is usually the family dog and usually a child under 5 known to the dog.

To all Rottie defenders - I suggest you read this

cuddleyourdogs.com/why-rottweilers-are-dangerous/

I'm sure you think your Rottie is lovely and safe, but other people don't. Please don't inflict them on the rest of us.

It's not just her dog though is it ? Holiday lets usually state whether pets are not allowed: presumably you would choose a location where pets aren't allowed because of your DD. So in choosing a place that allows dogs, even if your friend is happy to have accommodation at some distance from yours, there's a high chance there could still be a dog next door. One that your DD has had no chance to get to know.

@DPotter that's a very good point. Maybe Op should just say she's booking at a dog-free place as her DD is scared of dogs. Job done.

The misinformation on this thread is very depressing.

Rottweilers are big and strong - that does make them more potentially dangerous than a smaller dog in that they are hard to pull off if they do 'go'

Rottweilers are a popular breed meaning they are likely targets for puppy farmers who will produce dogs who are unhealthy or unsound mentally.

But they are no more inherently dangerous than any other large, popular breed.

These bullshit American statistics I've seen quoted on here, rotties and put bulls are extremely popular in America hence they are at the top for bite statistics (as the bite stats reflect the most popular breeds)

In the U.K, dogs like labradors, spaniels and little 'cutesy' dogs like dachshunds are most popular for pets and would you believe it, they are consistently at the top in the UK bite statistics.
Because the bite statistics reflect the most popular breeds.

It's usually family dogs that bite and they usually bite young children known to them.
Stranger bites, especially bad ones are exceedingly rare.
In fact, dog bites full stop are exceedingly rare despite what Mumsnet and the Daily Mail would have you believe.

Rottweilers aren't even guarding dogs.
They are cattle drovers.
Herders in other words.
German Shepherds are also not guarding dogs.
They are sheepdogs.
In fact, almost all of the dogs thought of as 'guarding' breeds are not.
Very, very few 'guarding' breed dogs in the UK have any real guarding instinct at all unless they come from a specific line bred for police/IPO/KNPV etc

The 'real' guarding breeds like your bully Kuttas, Anatolians and the like are hardly ever seen in the UK.

ALL dogs are hard to break free when insistent on biting!

Can you link us to the reports of maulings by pugs, retrievers, King Charles Spaniels, Baset Hounds etc?

Are you honestly saying that the size of jaws, strength of jaws, sie of teeth, strength of dog, size of dog, size of dog relative to child, and the physical and mental characteristics a dog has been bred for are all irrelevant and that all dogs pose the same risk, or if you like, lack of risk?

@Jaxhog you realise that link is just clickbait... it goes on to describe perfectly normal traits many breeds have...

Rotties are no more dangerous than any large breed, broad headed breed of dog - a well socialised well trained Rottie is as lovely as any well socialised, well trained dog...

Going on holiday with someone and their dog, you do need to actively LIKE their dog though, so I think YANBU to have concerns, but YABU to ASSUME the dog is an issue without meeting the dog and seeing how the owner handles their dog.

In any case, it may be a none issue - Rotties are banned or subject to restrictions (which may mean taking one there on holiday impossible) in many countries, and even if they were not, if we do eventually leave the EU, the chances of being able to take pets on holidays to Europe easily are pretty much none existant.

*The fact a breed is banned or restricted does not necessarily mean the breed is dangerous, for example Ukraine lists Labradors, Fox Terriers and Welsh Terriers in their list of over 80 dangerous breeds!

I have been bitten by a young German Shepherd. It went for me when I was out running, broke skin and left a massive bruise. I kicked it to get it away from me (after it started biting) and was subject to a torrent of aggressive abuse by the owner.

I have also had a dog approach our picnic and piss all over our picnic bag. The owner laughed and shouted ‘what do you expect me to do about it’

I am not afraid of dogs but o am very about the attitude of some (many) dog owners who think the work should adapt to their dog-owning ways.

What I don't get here is that you are going to a holiday camp that allows dogs. Therefore you could easily get a dog next door so why restrict her dog. If you are that concerned book somewhere that doesn't take dogs.
I agree they are a hindrance to a holiday though in terms of what you can and can't do because everything has to revolve around places being dog friendly. That would be my issue not the dog itself

Yes, my friend does have a child. I haven't seen her child for some years, so can't say whether or not she is a boisterous little girl.

As I've mentioned up-thread, we do encourage DD to feel more comfortable around dogs, but for her own benefit. Honestly, I'm not an idiot. Obviously, we encourage her to get to know friends' small dogs and show general enthusiasm for dogs when we're out and about. She's still very frightened.

However, this idea that I must somehow "prevent" her from being afraid is a bit baffling. Firstly, as I say, I think her reaction is probably quite a sensible one in evolutionary terms. Secondly, the fact that other people are not afraid of something doesn't necessarily mean that you cannot be. I'm not all that fond of heights. I can feel my heart race a little bit when I see those photos of people standing on surfboards hanging off the end of cliffs etc. It's just an instinctive physical reaction. The fact that those people are not afraid of heights, and that they were ultimately safe and were not hurt doesn't make me feel any better. You telling me that you think it's safe doesn't stop my palms sweating slightly. You can't force someone not to be afraid, no matter how many small dogs you introduce them to, and the idea that it is poor parenting to "allow" them to be afraid is a bit odd, frankly.

I've checked and unfortunately, this isn't a country where Rottweilers are banned. I don't know much about their local laws. I would assume that they are similar to those in the UK - that public spaces belong in the first instance to humans and that dogs can only enter those public spaces if they are kept under control - but I'm not certain.

Can you link us to the reports of maulings by pugs, retrievers, King Charles Spaniels, Baset Hounds etc?

Pug.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.mothering.com/forum/347-pets/1288892-6-year-old-daughter-attacked-weekend-our-dog.html%3famp=1

Retriever.
Oh by the way, retrievers are consistently at the top in the YK bite statistics and a similar size to Rottweilers.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-takes-down-mirrors-home-20333269.amp

Cavalier King Charles spaniel.

www.cavaliertalk.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-13202.html

Basset Hound.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dogforum.com/dog-training-behavior/basset-bit-my-young-sons-face-306378/%3famp=1

OFF TOPIC:
Mauling By Pug would make a great indie band name

Chihuahua kills baby
www.google.com/amp/s/www.mixedmartialarts.com/forums/amp/OtherGround/Family-chihuahua-mauls-baby-to-death:2554385

Jack Russell mauling
www.google.com/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/news/5847548/dog-attack-horror-injuries-girl-grans-jack-russell/amp/

If a dog wants to bite you are not going to have an easy job getting off.

The slating of an entire breed here is vastly unfair. Every rottie I’ve ever met has been a total sweetie.

There are no bad dog breeds. There is bad breeding, bad training and a bad understanding of how to behave around dogs. These are the factors that contribute to most dog bites.

I was very afraid of dogs for most of my childhood. I grew up with a boisterous collie until he was run over in front of me at the age of 4. Something in my little head tripped and I was petrified until as a teen I got to know a friends very docile lab.

Being so afraid was hell for me. I wish my parents would’ve persevered in trying to help me overcome my phobia earlier.

If you have never met the actual dog YAB a bit U in my opinion. My ds is scared of dogs but with some gentle encouragement can tolerate some quite well.

I think however that practicalities need to be considered Eg holiday parks may take dogs but I don't think they're allowed everywhere eg the swimming pools. A bit unfair on the dog perhaps.

And with Brexit it is not certain at all that you will be able to take dogs abroad.

Okay so I've just realised that the chihuahua story I posted was not in fact a chihuahua.

That'll teach me for not reading thoroughly before posting 😂

But to prove my point that all dogs can be dangerous and all dogs are hard to remove if they are hell bent on biting here is an actual (I've fully read and checked!) report of a dangerous child attacking chihuahua

komonews.com/news/local/vicious-chihuahua-terrorizing-wenatchee-children

Ps a pp is correct that a bigger concern would be being restricted by the dog rather than dog himself. Unless you do your own thing and other family fits in when they can.

The slating of an entire breed here is vastly unfair.

Unfair to who? To the dogs? How many rottweilers have voiced their concerns on this matter to you? Did you advise them to write to their MP?