Who is a CF, me or them?

[Bear2014]

I have £70 of theatre and cinema tokens we can't currently use as we are exhausted with young DC. I texted my parents who go to the theatre and cinema all the time to ask if they could use them. They said yes, thanks. I said great, we can use the cash for something else. They then replied that they didn't realise I wanted money for them so thanks but no thanks. WIBU? I'm really doubting myself now but for context they are well off and we have massive outgoings with nursery fees etc

I don't think either party is being cheeky, it's just a misunderstanding. I don't think it's weird or awkward to give them the vouchers for Xmas - that's a good idea.

I can't believe you expected any money from your own parents for something you got for nothing, let alone the full whack! That's so mean.

Sounds like just a simple misunderstanding. You didn't say so you want to buy £70 worth of cinema vouchers for x (a reduced price so maybe £50?). You offered them, do you want them, I'm not using them. That sounded like you were gifting them. Just forget it and move on. Ask if they'll babysit and you guys go and watch a movie?

If I had tickets to the theatre etc... and I was unable to attend I would certainly offer them to parents if they, like yours, often attend these events. I wouldn’t ask for money for them as I would prefer they went to good use. It would be nice if my parents offered a few quid for them but I certainly wouldn’t expect it. They’re your parents. Let it go. If you really wanted money for them you should have said so... or else sell them on.

I would’ve assumed you were giving them away for free too, especially when you haven’t even bought them yourself!!

Glad to see you admit you’re the cf.
The ship might have sailed gifting them to your parents but you could always gift them onto someone else for Christmas.
Or if you want to sell them reduce them a bit so it’s an incentive to buy them.

You could have sold them on FB or something. You are being mean.

What's wrong with wanting to sell on gifts that aren't actually suitable?

Asking them to babysit while you use them yourselves sounds like a runner! Or if it's just too awkward, sell them on Marketplace.

One potential problem though, what will you say to the friends who gave them to you in the first place?

neither are cheeky. Breakdown in communication.
FWIW, I would have assumed it was a gift too, but i would have offered money

Jesus you're a tightwad!!

I would have offered to family do free if I'd received them as a gift and couldn't use them myself

Wouldn't dream of asking for money off family!

I assuming you were giving them to them at first. To be fair none of you are CFs, they don't want them unless they're free and you don't want to give them away for free. Fair enough on both sides. I would give them to my parent without charging, but to be fair my parents do lots for us so I'd see being able to do something for them as a bonus. If you're not in a similar situation you're entitled to ask for money and they're entitled to say no.

I can't think of any reason why I would expect my parents to pay me for something I couldn't use.

Being clear and communicating clearly, stops issues in their tracks.

HI Mum, we have £70 ... would you like them for £40? I am giving you first dibs (I would say, and a special rate - I am a CF). We are selling them for nursery fees, are you interested in them?

Assumptions and unspoken wishes are guaranteed to create problems, I have learned the hard way.

The way you said it it sounds like you were gonna gift the tickets to them. I would also be surprised and a bit upset if you ask for money after.
I bought my niece tickets once for xmas to see a disney show. Her mum bought tickets for my DD and the plan was to take the 2 girls out as a group of 4. They then went on a short weekend trip exactly the week of the show. They booked the trip short notice about 2 weeks before the show, because they forgot. They didnt realise it was the weekend of the show until like 2 days before when we were talking about it. My SIL 'oh dam ots gonna be way too late to sell the tickets now! Would you want them so you can go with both kids and your DH?' I said sure, but then she asked for the money and i thought that was really cheeky. She basically tried to sell me the gift i bought for my niece It would have been nice to go with the whole family, but i was so put off that i declined the tickets.

Apart from that i would never ask for that amount from my parents, but they do a lot for me and i vite us often out to eat or babysit for free, so i couldnt ever take their money.

Jesus I wouldn't charge my own parents for vouchers. They raised you! Paid for all your treats as a kid and dealt with all your tantrums etc! No, they didn't do it for repayment once you're an adult but for goodness sake!

The tokens cost you nothing so it would have been a nice thing to pass them on for nothing too. Especially to your parents.

I would say you were the CF.

Well I think it's fair to say I've been put in my place. Genuinely grateful for the insight, have a good evening all

You definitely

If I offer tickets to someone on the grounds that I can't use them then I wouldn't expect payment.

I’m not a grandparent, but, if I try and imagine your scenario, I would think you were hinting at me babysitting so you COULD use the vouchers.
I would immediately offer to do that. ( I think ... but not being at that stage of life, who knows?)

You’re the CF. I would never expect my parents to pay for them.

If I was well off and my daughter was exhausted and skint I'd be offering some money anyway, never mind in exchange for something.

I wouldn’t charge my parents but appreciate not everyone can afford to do this, do the vouchers have a time limit on them? I would maybe say you’re the CF for trying to sell them as you probably could go to the cinema when tired but as you said the cash would be handy...

oh my God just read you got them as a gift! You wanted to charge your parents for something you for for free!????

Its been miscommunication on your side, if it were me I'd of said hi mum me and dh have decided to sell our tickets as we are to tired so I thought I'd give you both first offer to buy them as I know you enjoy theatre / cinema before I advertise them? Maybes me being me I'm soft and would say mum they cost £70 but how about £50?

Oh you got them as a gift ? Well unless your having financial problems then you are a cf indeed unless you are going to drop feed that you are donating the proceeds to charity?