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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who is a CF, me or them?

181 replies

Bear2014 · 26/10/2019 17:15

I have £70 of theatre and cinema tokens we can't currently use as we are exhausted with young DC. I texted my parents who go to the theatre and cinema all the time to ask if they could use them. They said yes, thanks. I said great, we can use the cash for something else. They then replied that they didn't realise I wanted money for them so thanks but no thanks. WIBU? I'm really doubting myself now but for context they are well off and we have massive outgoings with nursery fees etc

OP posts:

frogsbreath · 26/10/2019 17:40

When I read the op I assumed you meant they could take them off your hands so they wouldn't go to waste, as a gift.

I agree that if you want money for them then you can't ask for full value.

I think there's a website where you can sell gift cards & vouchers, maybe another poster might know it's name?

Joerev · 26/10/2019 17:40

Oh my gosh?!? They were gifts?!? You didn’t even pay for them

Then yes. I think you’re being very cheeky.

RhiWrites · 26/10/2019 17:41

No one is cheeky fuckers. Everyone is confused fuckers.

You need to offer the stuff up at a discount or what’s the point? It’s just creating hassle for them in return for cash for you.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 26/10/2019 17:44

That wording did make it sound like a gift to me and if you got them for free I think it's definitely fair enough to think you'd want to pass them on for free.

If I was your mum and knew you were struggling for cash I'd offer some money, but the text doesn't sound to me like that was the expectation.

Original poster

Bear2014 · 26/10/2019 17:46

Fair dos, seems IABU. If the tables were turned I would offer up some cash in a heartbeat and they are not tight people so I'm a bit and it is awkward but I'm sure we'll all get over it.

(I never said how much cash I expected. in my head i thought they might offer it all and i'd accept some but not all of it).

OP posts:

GPatz · 26/10/2019 17:51

'If the tables were turned I would offer up some cash in a heartbeat'

Sounds like you resent your folks a bit.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 26/10/2019 17:51

Are these vouchers actually worth £70 cash? That would only be true if they could be fully offset against any production which your parents would want to see. If it's something like £70 off four tickets to see The Mousetrap for Tuesday matinees in February so long as you eat in Pizza Hut, then that's not "worth" £70!

Original poster

Bear2014 · 26/10/2019 17:52

It's £40 of theatre tokens that can be used for anything and £30 of gift vouchers for a major cinema chain

OP posts:

Boysey45 · 26/10/2019 17:52

I couldn't charge my own parents for these tickets. They brought you up and didn't charge you. I think its shameful.

PralineCookies · 26/10/2019 17:53

Personally I can't imagine asking my parents for money for vouchers that I'd received as a gift. They might possibly offer money but I'd refuse it, unless in absolutely dire straits. They didn't cost me a penny after all. There are sites where you can sell vouchers(though not usually for full price) so that might be a better bet for you in future if you have any unwanted gift cards.

Boysey45 · 26/10/2019 17:54

You sound tight, to be honest OP.

saraclara · 26/10/2019 17:54

It would never have occurred to me that you wanted me to buy them from you. "Can you use...?" implies a freebie to me. I would have said no to buying them, because it's a lot more of a faff to spend theatre tokens than it is to just book direct with cash or card. That's assuming there was even anything I wanted to see.

thethoughtfox · 26/10/2019 17:55

Everyone would have assumed they were a gift

Andsoitisjust99 · 26/10/2019 17:55

I would be surprised if someone asked for money in those circumstances. Your wording doesn’t imply you are selling them.

diddl · 26/10/2019 17:59

You say that you would have offered money, but wouldn't you also have expected your parents to say no to the money if the vouchers/tokens had cost them nothing?

Isn't there a site you can sell them on rather than trying to make money from your parents?

dottiedodah · 26/10/2019 17:59

I think it was a little bit presumptious to expect them to pay the full £70 TBH ,Maybe best to offer them at a discount say 40 or 50 pounds ? Then they would be getting a bargain ! You dont say how old DC are ,but what about a Panto trip for you all at Christmas .They have matinee shows as well and it would be nice for you and DC/DH to go out for a break

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 26/10/2019 17:59

Sorry, OP but I think YABU. If you'd paid for them then perhaps it would be different but as they were gifted to you I think it is a wee bit cheeky-fuckerish to try to charge your DP's. You'd be making a profit from them essentially, which I appreciate wasn't your intention but it's still cheeky.

SilverySurfer · 26/10/2019 17:59

Ask yourself how much your DP spent on you over the years. I'm trying to imagine a similar scenario with my DP expecting them to pay for the tickets and totally failing. I think you are the CF especially as they were gifts so you didn't even pay for them in the first place!

LL83 · 26/10/2019 18:01

They might have offered some cash or bought you a takeaway to enjoy when kids in bed or something as a thank you but you shouldn't have expected it.

"Could you use" suggests you dont want the vouchers to go to waste. Should have said "would you like to buy our vouchers for £50?"

ffswhatnext · 26/10/2019 18:01

I wouldn't charge my parents for something I got for free, and I don't like mine.
If my children needed cash I'd help.
Sell them on fb for under market price.
If someone sent a text like that I would think result, get you a thanks gift and think my birthday had come early.

crispysausagerolls · 26/10/2019 18:02

You got given something for free and are trying to make money from them? From your parents? Sounds swindly and not ok!

nothanksbyenow · 26/10/2019 18:03

Maybe ask for your Christmas gift from them to be a babysitting night while you go and use your vouchers sometime? Hopefully they’d love to help.

timshelthechoice · 26/10/2019 18:04

You sound like the CFer here. The way you worded it you didn't make it clear you wanted payment. They were gifts and you would have preferred the money, so sell them free and clear and be honest at the outset.

CherryPavlova · 26/10/2019 18:05

If you wanted payment you should have made that clear.
“Would you like to buy these cinema or theatre vouchers at say 50% of the cost price?”
That way everyone understands the expectations and isn’t offended. I too would have assumed you were giving them as a gift.

Blahdyblahblahblah · 26/10/2019 18:10

Why don’t you use them. Parenting is tiring but you are allowed a night off. Have a date night, ask your folks to babysit.

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