To think my work are trying to penalise me for not wearing makeup or dresses?

[Name1Changer123]

I work in a large office, there is no official dress code or uniform but men are expected to wear suits, and women 'to look presentable and buisnesslike'. I'm not girly and I don't like dresses or skirts so I usually wear just a blouse and ordinary black trousers. I never wear high heels or makeup because I don't feel the need to alter my face every morning and I can't walk in high heels.

A couple of times comments have been made about making sure we look presentable, seemingly directed at everyone in general so I just ignored them as I presumed I did.

Well this morning I was called in for a chat with my manager who said there had been a few comments that I didn't seem to be putting any effort in to look presentable and could I make sure I'm following the dress code (which is just to 'look presentable). Yes I basically just wear a blouse and trousers every day, but surely that is business like? The only reason I can think of why I'm not 'presentable' is my lack of make up. I'm literally the only one who doesn't wear any. There are ladies in my office who wear a blouse and a skirt and they never seem to get told off so aibu to think my office is trying to get me to wear makeup?

OP are your clothes laundered and ironed? Is your hair brushed and tidy? Do you shower regularly?

The issue could be more hygiene related than actual appearance. Given the vagueness of your conversation, I wonder if your manager was trying to be tactful and failed.

@loops2019 eye rolling into oblivion.

Pleased to work in an industry where my brain is valued and I'm not seen as some sort of prop.

Are you male or female ?

@billandbenflowerpotmen1 I'm a biological female.

@Glacecherrychops so any kind of nail colour is unprofessional? Don't be ridiculous 😂😂

I'd be wondering if the work environment suits you overall. This would never be said where I work based on your description. Most of the work world is becoming more casual.

OP is your level of smartness on a par with the men in the office? I understand you don't want to dress similar to most of the women in the office (I wouldn't either), but you just don't want to be the least smart. So look at the men.

Are they all in polished shoes? Are you?
Are they all in clean, ironed, well fitting trousers and shirts? Are you?
Are their hairstyles neat and clean? Is yours?
Do they smell clean and fresh? Do you?
Do they have clean smelling breath and clean teeth? Do you?
Do they all wear suit jackets and ties? If so, match them with a jacket of some sort and if you feel you want to, a neck scarf.

I've had gel nails (no extensions) for over a decade. It's just laziness because I only have to have them done once a month.

Lol at the idea that only having your nails done once a month is laziness.

A girl I used to work with absolutely stunk.
It was horrendous, she was called in and they spoke about hygiene etc but she just didn't care. Fair enough she didn't care but it made me feel sick working with her constantly smelling BO. She said there was no way she was going to keep washing her uniform.
Sounds harsh on my part but I just couldn't cope with the smell.
Her level of hygiene was appalling and often turnt up with very greasy hair etc. They called her in multiple times but she just refused to do anything about it.

To answer some questions:
I shower every day but wash hair every other day (it doesn't need washing every other day)
and don't think I smell

I brush my teeth twice a day and I think I have pretty good personal hygiene

There's some serious internalised misogyny on this thread.

IMAGINE judging other women as lazy because they don't want to get their nails done when it's "only once a month".

I say that as someone who wears makeup and gel nails. If you want them done for fashion / self expression / a treat crack on but ffs is has no bearing on how prepared someone is for work.

I don't think not wearing heels would be problem so you not get ladies flat shoes in that size from anywhere something like colourful brogues ? Do you ever wear other colours like navy trousers and a more feminine blouse ( IMO black trousers white blouse reminds me of a waitress)
I think its personal taste but I can not go out without makeup , making sure brows and hair is tidy , It can be very minimal - not a face caked with make up ?

There's a certain amount of focus/interest in your appearance that makes you look business smart and like you have made an effort. With a man they add a jacket and tie. With women it's often accessories/colour/makeup. If you wore a jacket and a scarf /belt or necklace in a colour it would instantly give your look a more professional finish.

I'm with you on the shoes though. I bought some brogues a couple of years ago and it was a revelation.

I'm very tickled to discover that my gel nails are both "unprofessional" and "chavvy"!

@VirtualHamster Lol at the idea that only having your nails done once a month is laziness.

True I can always do less. You've not seen my kitchen though!

Is there a particular reason you won't post a full-length shot of yourself with the head cut off, @Name1Changer123?

No-one here can guess without actually seeing what you look like in work attire.

I know you were probably caught on the hop at the time, but as PP have said, you need to ask your manager to be explicit.

since when did being dressed 'appropriately' mean full face slap, heels and dress/skirt which tbh i would/will never wear aka over my dead body would i ever wear a dress
Dressing appropriately for a workplace doesn't have to mean a full face of slap and being dolled up.

It does however mean reading the workplace environment and also being aware of how your attire compares.

E.g. the women I mentioned in my example with their black poorly fitting trousers and any old blouse and generally look like they've not made an effort are the same women who wear casual summer clothes in the summer and then complained when leadership did a memo about staff dress code. The bottom line was they didn't have to be dolled up, it wasnt a workplace obsessed with image, but they didn't look professional.

Many of us didn't do hair/make up/glam/nails etc and still looked professional and a comparable level of smartness to a man's suit.

rogue matilda are the sort of style I was thinking of .

Do you have a friend who could give you some honest feedback?

On what you've said, it strikes me that you could look more like you're wearing school uniform rather than office wear. Possibly ill fitting and a bit scruffy?

Women where I work have styles hair, make up, gel type nails, fashionable long dresses with matching jackets and flat shiny black ballet shoes or ankle black heeled boots

Sounds ghastly and clearly not somewhere I'd fit in.

I don't get how people manage to look polished, whatever I do, whatever I wear, I end up looking scruffy. I'm crap at makeup, crap at styling my hair, crap at skiing my nails, can't wear heels because of my knees... oh, and my knees don't like flat ballet shoes either.

I'm clearly doomed if I ever need a different job.

I think its personal taste but I can not go out without makeup , making sure brows and hair is tidy , It can be very minimal - not a face caked with make up ?

You're right. It IS personal taste. I get my nails gelled every few weeks because they are very weak, and wear lipstick. But that is it unless I'm going 'out' and even then. No way would I be wearing anything else to work.

Size 12 shoes is huge! It's bigger than most men's sizes. My husband took 12 and I had to carefully source shoes for him, not everyone goes up that far, usually stops at 10 or 11 for a man.

7-8 is considered big for a woman.

I'm sure you're hygienic and see nothing wrong in smart trousers for work.

As above poster says, you need to ask manager to be more explicit.

There's some serious internalised misogyny on this thread

There is. I'm feeling rather deflated after reading this thread.

You sound like you dress just fine for work OP.

If the reason they gave you was wishy washy, I presume it's about the make-up and people have been bitching about it.

They are probably jealous that they haven't got the confidence to go make-up free in the workplace.

They wouldn't notice if they were comfortable in themselves.

@smoresmores I think that's aimed at me? I would never call anyone else of either sex or tell anyone to get their nails done. I was calling myself lazy and comparing myself to my friends who seem to get their nails done or do them themselves at least once a week which is way too much faff for me.

I would never judge anyone as lazy or anything else for having naked nails. I like them on me painted and out of the choice of having it done weekly or monthly I just choose the easiest option.

I don't get how people manage to look polished, whatever I do, whatever I wear, I end up looking scruffy. I'm crap at makeup, crap at styling my hair, crap at skiing my nails, can't wear heels because of my knees... oh, and my knees don't like flat ballet shoes either
You don't need all of that to look smart though.

I rarely do more than brush my hair / tie it up, don't wear nail varnish, wear no make up or light natural makeup, don't wear heels etc but still look smart.