To think my work are trying to penalise me for not wearing makeup or dresses?

[Name1Changer123]

I work in a large office, there is no official dress code or uniform but men are expected to wear suits, and women 'to look presentable and buisnesslike'. I'm not girly and I don't like dresses or skirts so I usually wear just a blouse and ordinary black trousers. I never wear high heels or makeup because I don't feel the need to alter my face every morning and I can't walk in high heels.

A couple of times comments have been made about making sure we look presentable, seemingly directed at everyone in general so I just ignored them as I presumed I did.

Well this morning I was called in for a chat with my manager who said there had been a few comments that I didn't seem to be putting any effort in to look presentable and could I make sure I'm following the dress code (which is just to 'look presentable). Yes I basically just wear a blouse and trousers every day, but surely that is business like? The only reason I can think of why I'm not 'presentable' is my lack of make up. I'm literally the only one who doesn't wear any. There are ladies in my office who wear a blouse and a skirt and they never seem to get told off so aibu to think my office is trying to get me to wear makeup?

If you don’t want to post a photo of yourself could you find a picture that’s similar to what you wear online? For e.g which shop is your go-to for work clothes?

I would do as others say and get it in writing by sending an email asking for clarity.

“Following our meeting on x regarding my appearance not being up to company standard, I would find it useful if you could clarify which aspects of my appearance do not meet these standards.

Once I am aware of the specifics I will obviously be keen to make the necessary changes to represent the company in the best light.”

If your standards truly fall below what they expect then a reply to that should be helpful. E.G. un-ironed clothes, attire not formal enough etc.
However if it is along the lines of sexism then you have it in writing.

(Photo obviously not me- I'm not that attractive!)
Also shoes are just plain lace ups from the men's department. I have large feet so it's easier. I make sure they're polished though.

Did you actually ask whether it’s because you don’t wear make up?

Do the trousers fit properly? Blouse ironed? No bras on show? Tucked in? Hair neat and tidy? Clean?

My pet hates are messy hair and I

I think your manager needed to be clearer on their definition versus how you are lacking.

I'm a manager and in this situation I have always given very clear messages ie hair messy, not shaven, I'll-fitting clothes etc. This is especially important where the employee manual is not precise in expectation of what business like looks like.

Speak to your manager on Monday and say you are unclear on what they want you to change

ConfCall
I agree and often how someone dresses to work isn't anything to do with make up or heels.

Some of the most groomed and presentable colleagues I work with don't wear heels or heavy makeup.

They have nice, well fitted clothing, appropriate accessories and have dressed to suit them (Vs a fairly lazy, not that well-fitted shirt/bog standard black trousers that don't fit brilliantly)

Also shoes are just plain lace ups from the men's department. I have large feet so it's easier. I make sure they're polished though.

Men's shoes? I have large feet, too, but I don't buy clunky men's shoes because there's no reason to. I'm thinking the issue is that you look scruffy and are blind to it.

Ask him where your aren’t presentable. If he says no jacket fine. If he says no make up or high heels throw him to the lions.

Can you not post a picture of yourself with your head chopped off? , a picture of a model is no help, that blouse could look scruffy if it’s not ironed or tucked in for example, we need to see how you wear it.

@Aquamarine1029 by large feet I mean size 12. Impossible to get ladies shoes in that size without spending a fortune and why should I when I can get the same thing in the men's? My feet are really wide anyway

Men's shoes?

Are you 10 foot tall?

I'd add a blazer and then email as a follow up asking for any specific guidance they can give you in addition to the dress code.

What s wrong with men s shoes and unshapely trousers? It s sad people waste time judging people on appearance. As long as you dont smell what s the problem really ?

I'm sorry OP, but I suspect you look a bit shabby tbh.

And I suspect the shoes are pretty hideous on a woman.

You probably just need to look a lot sharper.

@Minorityreports i'm 6'1

My male colleague wears trousers, shirt and tie to work every day. But looks properly scruffy. His trousers are too big, he leaves his top button undone and the tie loose...

Looks like a teenager in uniform

I wear men's shoes, too. They fit better and give more support than women's shoes, but if you choose carefully they are not noticeably different from some women's flat shoes.

In every job I've ever had I've striven to fit in a bit, appearance wise. Simply by making sure I adopted the same semi professional look of everyone else around me. (Obviously on days off I wear zero make up and my running clothes).

Given that I now earn a really good salary and absolutely love my job, I think it was all worth it.

Up to you really - would it kill you to fit in a bit more, or is your independence/character so strong you need to express it in uncompromising terms, and tough shit if that means you do worse in your career?

Sounds to me as if your suspicions are justified. You wear fairly formal work blouses, clean polished shoes and black trousers. You'd have to be really scruffy for that to be considered less than presentable. I get the impression that you're not presenting as suitably or sufficiently feminine, and that's what your manager is getting at( but won't say, because that would raise all sorts of issues).
So yes, make him ( got the feeling it is a him) squirm by asking in writing for clarification and examples, with a copy to HR.

Would you say that perhaps your work dress appears more on the masculine side? It sounds like you feel like they want you to do make up/heels dress more feminine?

Do the trousers and shirts fit nicely?

Ask for specific feedback and in writing as to what their expectations are. Looking like you've made an effort is very open to interpretation unfortunately.

Long tall sally do size 12 shoes. www.longtallsally.com/shoes/c?q=%3Alts-favourites%3AltsShoeSize%3A12&isFacetMobileOpened=false prices start at £35 for a basic shoe.

If the men wear suits, I would wear a suit as well rather than just trousers and a blouse. Get clarification from your boss.

It s sad people waste time judging people on appearance. As long as you dont smell what s the problem really ?

By that logic you could show up to work looking like a homeless person, in pyjamas, or a stained track suit, just as long as you don't smell.

Don't be absurd. Your appearance MATTERS. No one is saying you have to look like you stepped out of a magazine, but if you look slovenly you will be judged on that in a professional setting. Just the way it is.

My male colleague wears trousers, shirt and tie to work every day. But looks properly scruffy. His trousers are too big, he leaves his top button undone and the tie loose...
I can think of similar over different workplaces too.
Some people look like they've not made the effort, and whilst I'm sure it won't take long for claims of "but nobody should judge if the clothes are clean / why does appearance matter", they do matter in the workplace. It doesn't mean being dolled up to the nines, but it's possible to tick the boxes and look less than presentable.

Your manager definitely needs to be clearer as that's all pretty subjective.

I wouldn't wear that shirt though personally. It looks like a cheap school shirt to me. Might be better under a fitted jacket?

You definitely don't need to go "girly" if that's not what you're comfortable with.