Aibu to want to be a Mrs even though I'm now divorced?

[flirtygirl]

I kept my maiden name and used my married name for the years I was married (13). The married name I've been changing over now but for years I was Miss C Smith or Mrs C Smith Jones (both show on my credit report, passport is in one and driving licence in the other) .

I now want to be Mrs C Smith instead of Miss.

No idea why but it hurts me for people to think I'm a single mum who has never been married, is it my internalised misogyny?

I know it shouldn't matter to be but it does.

You were right in your OP with “internalised misogyny”. Labelling women (not men) by marital status. No thanks!

I was
Miss Single.
Miss Married.
Miss Divorced.
Miss Remarried.
And if my husband pre-deceases me, I shall be
Miss Widowed.

I’d use Ms, but personally it sounds like a give enough of a shit about people attributing something to Miss.

So Miss it is.

Laughing at the idea that Ms isn’t hard to pronounce - what, two consonants instead of three? (Mrs)

You have hit on something that I would like to see changed.

In France you become Madame, regardless of marital status, once you reach maturity. This used to be the case in the UK too in some circumstances. An unmarried woman who remained at home with her parents continued to be Miss, but a woman who worked became Mrs even if she was a spinster. Mrs Crocombe, the 19th century cook at Audley End house, was an unmarried Mrs.

Legally you can do what you want. If you want to be Mrs, do it.

It's "Miz" in the US but it's not said like that in the UK. And actually why would it be? There's no "i".
Anyway you are right Seneca Thats why Ms is used most of the time in the US and just hasn't taken off here. Saying a word with no vowels is awkward. I still use it but I hate saying it. Also I am asked "is that Miss or Mrs?" and I go "It's Ms" there's that smirk and eyebrow raise every blooming time!

I really can't see why Ms is difficult to pronounce. I mean Mrs is actually pronounced Missis. It has no vowels easier.

I think some people are afraid that saying you're a Ms means you're a feminist. Shock horror. But in reality we don't have to label men as maiden or married so why women? We aren't chattels.

“ Saying a word with no vowels is awkward”
I presume you also struggle with Mrs? And Mr?

Laughing at the idea that Ms is hard to pronounce.

Is that the best reason you can come up with for not wanting to treat women the same as men?

No I don't. Because Missus and Mister are how they are said phonetically.
It's not a value judgment. Just a fact that I find saying Mzz awkward.

What are you on about Barbara?? Read my post. I use Ms. I don't need an excuse to opress women ta for asking.

“Saying a word with no vowels is awkward”
“I presume you also struggle with Mrs? And Mr?”

And ‘rhythm’

You never say ‘hmmm’ or ‘brrrr’ ?

I’m divorced and I’ve stayed as Mrs (exH’s) name. I found it a PITA to change the names on stuff first time round and sort of wished I hadn’t, so I really can’t be bothered to do it again. It’s easier to keep the same surname as my children too.

Sometimes when I fill in forms I use Ms but mostly I stick to Mrs. It really means next to nothing to me and not enough for me to go through the hassle of changing it back again. I might do when the kids are older. Luckily I work in a place where everyone uses first names only and I’m addressed as Mrs X maybe once a month anyway. It’s not due to any attachment to my marriage, it’s just my name and I’m used to it.

I have kept my married name and still use Mrs because I prefer to and wish to have the same surname as my young son. I don't like the title "Ms", that is just personal preference. @IfNot I find it awkward too.

Call yourself what you like!

It’s odd how the baby name threads are full of the most bizarre spellings and pronunciations, and the reply is always “people will only need to be told once, it’s fine!” But somehow even 50 years on people still seem to be struggling with saying “Ms”.

If I didn’t know better, I would suspect something more complicated than simple linguistics was going on.......

Germany's like the French system. Nobody uses Fräulein any more (in fact there was a recent court case about whether its use could be considered an insult). There aren't even really specific titles for children, which means I have received post for my very young children adressed to Herr/Frau MiniCatte, which is kind of odd, but no more than that.

I've mainly lived over here since being married (and have been Dr for most of that time), but in the odd interactions I have with the UK I find it weird to be referred to as Mrs. I can't warm to it at all.

I think English should go the French/German way and have Mrs as the general title for adult women. (I find a lot of Germans use it this way because they think it must be and can't wrap their heads around the UK system).

That Ms implies you were previously married/are divorced is a common misconception .

While we're discussing this, staff in shops/banks/opticians etc. assume I'm a Mrs because I'm an older woman. I have always used Ms as an adult, read the form, use the title I have given myself, not that you think I should have. Thank you...

I'm a Miss - for me it was erasing the fact from my mind I'd ever been married to such a vile man as my ex!!!! I'm now engaged, pregnant, and still very happily a Miss 😊

“This may be generational”

I’m 58. All my friends and family use Ms , the vast majority did not change their names on marriage, and many have given their children their own surname or double barrelled.

“ I think English should go the French/German way and have Mrs as the general title for adult women”

Why do you think it would be easier to completely change the meaning of a commonly English word than to expand the use of a word meaning adult woman we have already?

Yeah it is just the linguistics.
Rhythm is said "Rithum."
I don't ever say hmmm or brrr, no.
I wouldn't call a child a name that didn't feel nice to say. I have an almost physical reaction to language e.g I love to say Italian words, hate speaking French.

Its literally just the way it feels in my mouth to say Mzz. Hence wishing we could have something different.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. HTH.

I think English should go the French/German way and have Mrs as the general title for adult women

Or we could just go with the more commonly held English custom of Ms and copy another dialect instead of a whole other language. Take the simpler option. And in any case, Mrs is a term referring to marital status and is thus unacceptable to many of us.

But look how many people object to Ms because it apparently signals a divorcee or 'can't pronounce' it.

It's "Miz" in the US but it's not said like that in the UK.

So how is it pronounced in the UK?

(Posted too soon) And (I would guess) Mrs is more widespread than Ms, currently, so it would simply be widening, rather than changing the meaning. As with Madame/Frau and presumably comparable terms in other languages.

SenecaFalls, I was taught Mz (had a teacher at secondary who went by it).

I'm married. I use Miss Ms and Mrs. Because I give not one merry fuck about this stuff.