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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to have expected information from birth mother?

248 replies

FeetZelet · 24/10/2019 16:36

Lurker & grateful beneficiary of advice, first time poster...

Looking for thoughts or experiences to help me understand the response I have received from my birth mother. Background - adopted at 8 weeks in 1970's, legally no access to identifying information from my adoption file but publicly available birth records & internet have led me to my birth mother & her family, they have some public profile. As was the norm, my father's name is not recorded on BC. It is on file but not available under data protection.

I am seeking genetic & medical information and wrote to a business address to seek to engage with BM 7 hopefully to progress to corresponding & exchange of info. My first very brief letter received no response for months so I wrote a second in which I asked for the name of my birth father and nothing else information wise. Gave some background info about my own life in the hope that this was a more human approach and that the details might have been of interest or of comfort but did not outright state she was my BM in case someone else read the letters.

Have now received a short reply, no name, no address included, some weeks later, stating that there was no information to be given and questioning my incorrect approach & the information I had illegally! I am shocked that a mother (she has multiple other children) could be so harsh and accusatory about something she knows to be true. I am also ashamed of having made contact after many decades to be rejected and made feel that I caused the problem. There is no possibility of mistaken i.d., also, some family members are physically very similar to me.

AIBU to expect that she should have replied to my first letter to state 'do not contact' me rather than risking a further approach? Also many months later, to basically tear me a new one for persisting? Feeling lost in this and would welcome other opinions.

OP posts:
ChuckleBuckles · 25/10/2019 08:51

@FeetZelet I am also Irish and adopted in 1980 so similar age to you, I traced through the adoption authority for health info and despite the horror stories you find online about them they were helpful (but slow!) and had a great deal of empathy for my situation. Like yourself they made contact with my birth mother, a letter to her asking her to contact them and she rang them back surprisingly.

She spoke to them and decided that she wanted no contact, I did find out that her relationship with my bio dad was a happy time in her life, but she gave no other details. Sadly she wants nothing to do with me, she said she was not in a position to tell people about me then, and they were not going to find out now either, I am to remain her dirty secret. She said her priority was her daughter, that was how I found out I had a sister, I felt her phrasing of that was particularly hurtful, and underscored me being on the outside of that.

I think it may be worth it for you to contact the Adoption Authority and make it know that you would be open to contact from other relatives, on the off chance that your birth father or his family make contact too the AA will match you up with them. I would also advise checking out Barandos, as they provide a post adoption service that helps adopted adults navigate anything they may be feeling, they host them around Ireland.

This is the sad thing with adoption, that the adoptee is always treated as a child, with others deciding what information that they can have about their own life. I wish you well whatever you decide to do going forward, and please pm me if I can help in any way.

Pomegranatepompom · 25/10/2019 08:54

How unkind to call the OP cold, so unfair.
I’m adopted and you’d probably call me cold too, but how exactly are we supposed to behave towards the people who abandoned us? I lived my whole life feeling unloved (until I met my DH and had my own family). The decision the BM makes and in most cases there was some choice, have really difficult consequences for the adoptee.

Pomegranatepompom · 25/10/2019 08:59

Ederson I have had some contact with my BM in recent years, I have absolutely no connection. I still visit every couple of months as I feel it would be cruel not to.
I don’t know why I feel responsible, wish I didn’t. I don’t have a positive experience of her and she doesn’t seem to feel responsible for my sad childhood.

Pomegranatepompom · 25/10/2019 09:02

I’m sorry for your experience chuckle

AwkwardFucker · 25/10/2019 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AlternativePerspective · 25/10/2019 09:32

For those having a go at the OP and others on this thread, the thing is that these are not cases in isolation. Hundreds of thousands of children were given up for adoption back in those days, and not all of them were given up as a result of rape. Yes there would have been societal pressure, but many of these women did still have a choice. And if they felt they didn’t, they still had a choice as to whether to tell their subsequent families about the adoptions. In fact I would go so far as to say that yes, they do owe their subsequent children those explanations because those subsequent children now have the means to find out that information for themselves.

As for the OP and others, they were abandoned at birth. They didn’t make that choice, and while for the birth mothers it may have felt like they had no choice, for the product of those adoptions, i.e. the children, they were abandoned. So why should they owe anything to anyone else? They don’t owe it to a woman who says that she doesn’t want to know and threatens them with legal action to keep her secret for her.

They don’t owe her any kind of privacy at all. They may choose to allow her that privacy, but actually, that is as much their choice as people on this thread say the birth mother has about whether she responds in an unkind manner.

yes, women were told then that their children would be given up for adoption and they would remain anonymous. But times have changed. What they were promised back then is no longer guaranteed, and as hard as that might be, they have to learn to live with that or face potential consequences.

Because there are potentially consequences of a child finding out through social media that their parent gave up children for adoption and that they have siblings they never knew about. And for that child, they could choose to cut that woman out of their lives completely, and that would be their choice as well.

Choice is not a one-sided concept.

AlternativePerspective · 25/10/2019 09:36

In fact the new rules on sperm/egg donation are a case in point here. The donation rates have dropped since the rules have changed to allow the children of those donations to make contact when they’re eighteen.

That just shows that people are happy to give up their cells, their potential children and not have to be accountable for those decisions.

I think these whole reunite type shows on TV and so on have a lot to answer for. Because they romanticise the idea of tracing your natural family. About how there will be a wonderful, emotional reunion and how you will have the family you always wanted. So when a child traces their birth family and is told to do one or face legal consequences it leads to just more feelings of isolation on their part. Because it’s not how they thought/hoped it would be.

Olliephaunt4eyes · 25/10/2019 09:38

adoption was absolutely about lies and denial

I think that's unfair. I don't think it always was. In my case I genuinely didn't believe (and don't believe) that keeping her was a fair option. If I had kept her I would have been tied to her father for life. He would have had rights to contact us, or at least her, when he was not confined anywhere. We would have had no money, nowhere to live, she might have spent time in foster care, and then come back to me, and gone back into foster care if I wasn't able to look after her, and I wouldn't have been for chunks of her childhood. I was scared she'd have had a terrible dysfunctional childhood in a world I wouldn't wish on anyone and end up trapped in a cycle of abuse. I don't remember a lot of her birth and the little bit of time I had with her, but I remember looking at her and just being completely convinced I'd hurt her if she stayed with me, no matter how badly I wanted not to.

It wasn't about lies. In her case, she was born in the UK and not so early as OP so would have access to some of this, I guess (whatever the social worker put in it) although my name has changed since then and I'm not contactable through any old addresses. You're right. She could contact me through a DNA test or something and I worry a lot about that, especially as the world has changed and there aren't the large numbers of babies from single mothers being put up for adoption anymore. I think younger adoptees are mostly going to find shit show stories like mine. It's a whole Pandora's box.

FeetZelet · 25/10/2019 09:39

To share some of my own life experience that might either resonate or shed some light on a 70's Irish adoptee:

  • up unit a few months ago I did not know where I was born, could not answer security questions about place of birth without saying 'City' and when probed having to make up a specific hospital or out myself as adopted, cue awkward exchanges with randomers.
  • being bullied through school for being adopted, I was always upfront about it as don't remember a time when I didn't know.
  • feeling I am the dirty little secret.
  • being physically unlike any family member which was difficult in a family with strong genetic similarities.
  • having a sense of not being equal or liked from childhood within my adopted father's family, always trying to be liked and developing a complex as a pleaser.
  • having this verified post my Mother's death as she had tried to protect me from this her entire life, my paternal GM had stated I would never 'be one of them' when I was adopted and I felt this unspoken treatment, which no one acknowledged to me, damaging my sense of self worth.
  • zero sense of family medical history, once adopted is mentioned medical professionals stop the line of questioning re genetic issues and as posters have noted it takes additional time, effort, energy & pain to get answers.
  • having no medical/genetic information to pass down, this is a serious problem.
  • being a curiosity once adopted is mentioned, having to justify this and justify knowing nothing of your birth families.
  • as the truth of the treatment of unmarried Mother's in Ireland became public understanding that you were one of the fortunate babies who lived, I was born in a Mother & Baby Home, and stressing about what your BM may have had to endure to deliver you.

To the poster who mentioned the Adoption Authority, I am registered for contact from any birth family since my twenties. They will not progress tracing for me until a decision is made on the responsibility for the agency's files once it closes at the end of the year.

Also thanks for the suggestion of Barnardo's - I intend contacting them.

OP posts:
DriftingLeaves · 25/10/2019 09:44

@AwkwardFucker A "heartless bitch speaks" - the child I am talking about is the product of incestuous gang rape. So a choice of fathers, all related to the mother.

My friend has every right never to disclose that to anyone. The child will never learn anything from her. Some secrets are best kept but carry on being judgemental, so wonderful in your ivory tower, eh?

Apples78 · 25/10/2019 09:48

What a nasty attitude

Personally I think threatening your biological child with legal action is the nasty attitude Confused

Serin · 25/10/2019 09:58

OP you state that BM has business links. If she has money then be aware that could be a reason for the extended family not to welcome your presence.
I was shocked recently when a very close friends family refused to have anything to do with a newly discovered half sibling purely because they felt she would be a potential threat to their inheritance.
Please get some RL support for yourself. The issues you are dealing with are massive.

AlternativePerspective · 25/10/2019 09:58

@DriftingLeaves neither party is wrong though. Yes, your friend may feel that to be contacted by her child would wreck her life, but equally the child may feel that her life was wrecked because she was abandoned and denied any information about her heritage.

After all, you don’t know what kind of life that child had growing up. Not all adopted children grew up in loving homes, so if e.g. the child had an abusive upbringing then she may feel that being placed for adoption did actually ruin her life. And without knowing the background she’s not wrong for thinking that.

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 25/10/2019 10:10

As if you could know your BM was out there and not look

I'm really taken aback by this comment.

My mother has spent her entire life knowing her birth mother and at least one half brother were 'out there' and has never wanted to look.

Not all adoptees want to find their biological parents and it is incredibly rude to assume they do.

My mother knows who she is. She knows who her parents were, the ones who loved her and supported her. She knows who her family is. She does not 'lack self esteem'; or any of the other assumptions that have been made on this thread. She thinks the best thing about being adopted is not knowing any medical history and the worst thing is patronising people assuming she's lacking something in her life because she wasn't brought up by her biological parents.

Some adoptees feel the need to find their biological family. Other do not. They are individuals.

AwkwardFucker · 25/10/2019 10:21

My friend has every right never to disclose that to anyone. The child will never learn anything from her. Some secrets are best kept but carry on being judgemental, so wonderful in your ivory tower, eh?

And the child can just get fucked, eh?

contrary13 · 25/10/2019 10:24

"It was completely her choice to have the baby adopted, she had another option she chose not to take. That decision has affected quite a few people’s lives, and not in a good way."

Conversely, my grandmother chose - in 1951, as a single mother - to keep my mother, with the additional support of her parents. My mother was essentially raised by her grandparents until she was 6 and my grandmother married my (adopted) grandfather. Because, here's the kicker - not only is my grandmother my mother's biological mother, she's also her adoptive mother. Yet in all my mother's almost 70 years of life, not once has my grandmother told her the truth about who her father was. And that has damaged my mother considerably. She was, by all accounts, a rebellious teenager who had a baby at 14 and another at 17. Both of my older brothers were raised by my grandparents, from birth. My oldest brother has no idea who his biological father may be/have been, as our mother refuses point blank to divulge. She says (and this is one of the main reasons DB1 went NC with her as soon as I turned 18) that as my grandmother refused to tell her who her biological father was, why should he need to know anything about his?

DB2 traced his biological father when he was old enough to do so, because my grandfather helped him. Turned out that he and mother were engaged to be married, until she suddenly broke it off and hooked up with a pilot in the RAF when DB2 was maybe 2 or 3 years old. Childhood sweethearts, if you will. He'd known about DB2, but didn't want the aggravation which he surmised would occur, and hurt both of my brothers, if he stuck around. DB2 has 4 more half-siblings littered around the country, whom as far as I know, he doesn't have any relationship with and may actually, not even know about his existence.

And then... a few years ago, I was diagnosed with a neurodegenerative disease which will, one day, carry me off this mortal coil. It also happens to be somewhat genetic (although random mutations obviously can occur) and... a known "family friend" also had it. Said "family friend" was always in my mother's life - there are photographs of him, my grandmother, and my mother as a baby and small child, on day trips to the beach in the summer, and playing catch in my great-grandparents garden. Happy fucking families, right? Except... "family friend" (whom my mother resembles more and more the older she gets, and whom I can see in my son's face as he matures) was almost 30 when my mother was born, married, and the father of 3 children. Even when faced with the information that I have this genetic disease, and oh!, look, "family friend" also had it...!!!, my grandmother holds her tongue. It's no matter to her if she tells us whether he actually is my biological grandfather, or not. He's been dead for over 20 years, his wife is deceased, and as far as my brothers and I're concerned, the man she married was very much our adored grandfather. But medically, we do need to know if this is where my condition stemmed from, because all three of us have children and DB2 has grandchildren (although we're erring on the side of caution), and DB1 would like to know if his son is best friend's with an actual family member, not just "family friend"'s great-grandson. We're all pretty certain that "family friend"'s children wouldn't have known about our mother - and that they still don't. But it's weird for DB1 to be friends with, to know his son is best friends with, people who may well be our cousins. I can understand that. I can empathise with that.

My mother has no compassion, no empathy, no structure to her comprehension of how a family ought to be. I had to train her to say "I love you" 10 years ago - when I was 34. Until then? Growing up? It wasn't uttered by her, or by my grandmother to either me, or my brothers. DB1 has come to terms - he claims - with the fact that he probably won't ever know who his biological father was. He suspects, given some of the gleeful stories our mother has always told about her exploits growing up, that it's possible that she doesn't know his identity, herself. Which is pretty awful, if you stop and realise that... had my grandmother placed her for adoption, or said "yes, 'family friend' is your father, but we can't tell his wife" at some point to her, it would have given her the identity that I suspect she was trying to obtain as a wild, rebellious teenage girl in a small village in the depths of rural countryside. If, in turn, she'd said to either of my brothers "these are your biological fathers", they perhaps might still be in contact with her, and I wouldn't be the only one left manning the fortress. My mother is bitter and angry - and that, I believe, comes from the fact that her own mother maintains a facade of "oops, suddenly I had a belly-ache and there you were..." about the whole thing. She didn't tell anyone that she was pregnant with my mother until she was giving birth... but she must have known. She is a highly intelligent, sharp, manipulative woman now, in her 90s... and she was, by all accounts, the same back then. Perhaps if she'd told the truth, my mother would have known to watch us for symptoms of the disease which killed the "family friend" (the children of his wife and their descendants are all asymptomatic, thankfully - so it may even just be a genetic quirk) and I could have done something about managing it, before it was too late to do so.

All because my grandmother made a choice against adoption.

ChilledBee · 25/10/2019 10:30

There is a document Netflix called "Tell me who I am" which isn't exactly about adoption but is very interesting all the same. It was made by the same person who produced Sugarman if anyone knows that docufilm. Both are really good.

beanaseireann · 25/10/2019 10:39

@FeetZelet
You might consider contacting Adoption Rights Alliance, which is an Irish advocacy group for adoptees. A relative found them very helpful.
@EdersonsSmileyTatoo I think you should contact your BM, you wanted answers and she wouldn't give them at the time but now, terminally ill she is willing to meet you. I really think you should meet to get those answers. Who knows why she wouldn't or couldn't meet you in the past.

AlternativePerspective · 25/10/2019 10:42

I think you should contact your BM, you wanted answers and she wouldn't give them at the time but now, terminally ill she is willing to meet you. I really think you should meet to get those answers. Who knows why she wouldn't or couldn't meet you in the past. see I wouldn’t. IMO it’s a one shot deal. If someone rejects someone more than once then they don’t get to withdraw that on their terms.

Pomegranatepompom · 25/10/2019 10:43

edersons I think that’s partly why I see my BM. She’s in 70’s and I wanted to see if there was potential for a relationship. Although, you need to be sure you want one. I wish I hadn’t.

DriftingLeaves · 25/10/2019 10:47

@AwkwardFucker

And the child can just get fucked, eh?

And never know the horror of her conception. Yes.

My friend's decision to make. Not yours, overflowing as you are with the milk of human kindness and empathy.

Katrinawaves · 25/10/2019 10:51

Except that I used an intermediary, OP, o had exactly the same experience as you had. Be kind and gentle to yourself and allow yourself to grieve the loss again. In time, you will feel better but it does hurt and will do for some time.

In my case, my BM decided about 6 months later to cough up the name of my BF to the intermediary. He had been looking for me for 50 years but never knew the name she had registered my birth in so had not got very far. When we were put in touch he was very excited - threw a large party to introduce me to his entire extended family and he’s very much still in contact with me and part of my life 4 years on.

I don’t think much about my BM now, nor my half brother who knows nothing of me. If she changed her mind now, I’d meet the half brother but probably wouldn’t bother with her. From what I’ve heard about her from BF and his family, and the intermediary who spoke to her, she’s a cold and selfish woman who had no empathy or care for me and I can’t see that knowing her would add any value to my life

LovePoppy · 25/10/2019 10:53

@pallisers I am an adopted child.
I have zero genetic history. I have sat in medical meetings explaining “I don’t know” and “no, I have no medical history past my own” and “yes, really, I’m adopted they didn’t send me with a medical history” all in one meeting with a very dim nurse.

Under the rules at the time , I’m not owed contact. Would a medical history be nice? Sure, but not required.

Katrinawaves · 25/10/2019 10:54

Edited to add, the intermediary made a complete family tree for me from public records including cause of death which she got from death certificates to try to fill the missing medical info gaps for me. I was also born in Ireland though the family moved to Canada and England afterwards.

AlternativePerspective · 25/10/2019 10:56

@DriftingLeaves but it’s no longer her decision to make. The only thing she now has control of is whether she has contact with the child. But because of newer means the ability to remain completely anonymous is no longer available to her or anyone like her.

If the child in question goes on to ancestry or similar and finds her and subsequent children that way there is literally nothing she will be able to do about it.

Does she have other children? Do they know that she had another baby and that she had that baby adopted? Because if they don’t then it’s entirely possible that her world could come crashing down if those children find out through ancestry or social media and stop contact with her because of the secret she kept from them.

Her reasons for doing so are understandable, and in an ideal world of course the child would likely be better off not knowing about the details of their conception. But given all the child likely knows is that they were adopted, and other children know nothing, those people will draw their own conclusions if they find each other and they are not wrong for doing so.

At the time your friend was promised it was possible to keep that promise. Now it no longer is, and your friend should probably think about whether she tells other children at the very least before they find out through other means. For her own benefit as much as anything else.

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