Lurker & grateful beneficiary of advice, first time poster...
Looking for thoughts or experiences to help me understand the response I have received from my birth mother. Background - adopted at 8 weeks in 1970's, legally no access to identifying information from my adoption file but publicly available birth records & internet have led me to my birth mother & her family, they have some public profile. As was the norm, my father's name is not recorded on BC. It is on file but not available under data protection.
I am seeking genetic & medical information and wrote to a business address to seek to engage with BM 7 hopefully to progress to corresponding & exchange of info. My first very brief letter received no response for months so I wrote a second in which I asked for the name of my birth father and nothing else information wise. Gave some background info about my own life in the hope that this was a more human approach and that the details might have been of interest or of comfort but did not outright state she was my BM in case someone else read the letters.
Have now received a short reply, no name, no address included, some weeks later, stating that there was no information to be given and questioning my incorrect approach & the information I had illegally! I am shocked that a mother (she has multiple other children) could be so harsh and accusatory about something she knows to be true. I am also ashamed of having made contact after many decades to be rejected and made feel that I caused the problem. There is no possibility of mistaken i.d., also, some family members are physically very similar to me.
AIBU to expect that she should have replied to my first letter to state 'do not contact' me rather than risking a further approach? Also many months later, to basically tear me a new one for persisting? Feeling lost in this and would welcome other opinions.