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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this unacceptable in a cafe

134 replies

ToodlesnOOdleSAR · 24/10/2019 13:03

DD and I are out having lunch in a nice cafe. Beautifully spacious with great facilities for baby, there are often mums with kids here.

We were just eating, I look up and there are baby twins, laid out on the table, one by mum and the other I assume to be grandma - changing their nappies.

Gross. As I mentioned there are good facilities, easily accessible...and it's not as if the mother was having a nightmare - babies were being quiet, not fussy and she also had grandma to help.

A worker here had a word with them, but seemed to just be laughing how cute they are...

AIBU? I'd personally never do this. I'm not a clean freak by any stretch but my god.

OP posts:
cherish123 · 25/10/2019 18:40

Disgusting. Some people are so uncivilised.

sunshine11 · 25/10/2019 19:12

Completely unhygienic and if HSE saw that they’d be closed down for the day based on the assumption they’d allowed it (or at least not stopped it). I’d be complaining to management there that staff did nothing to intervene.

BumbleBeee69 · 25/10/2019 19:15

this is disgusting, I do hope you went back to say something OP. Flowers

Sleepyhead19 · 25/10/2019 19:16

Disgusting! I realise it’s not the fault of the cafe but I couldn’t eat there again!

Isitnearlyweekend · 25/10/2019 19:23

There’s nothing worse than some parents. Changing babies in the cafe, letting their toddlers whack spoons on a table making a racket, toddlers running around causing chaos. We have a local cafe we love to go to and my heart always sinks when a toddler comes in. What you say today is disgusting. The staff should have insisted they take the babies to the changing room. I don’t think any child or baby should be sat on a table but it seems to be something you see a lot. I’m not saying all parents are like this, it’s definitely a minority, but is very inconsiderate.

HungryForApples · 25/10/2019 19:41

I think most of the responses on here are OTT. They should have been using the baby changing facilities of course... but personally, as long as they were only wet nappies this wouldn't bother me if I saw it happening. Urine is sterile, if you wanna worry about germs I'd worry about whatever's on the bottom of people's handbags that they put on the table.

SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 25/10/2019 20:29

Urine is not sterile.

Mylifesadrama · 25/10/2019 20:43

That’s disgusting, it wouldn’t have even crossed
my mind to do such a thing. What made them think that was acceptable is beyond me!

FelicisNox · 25/10/2019 20:49

That's utterly disgusting and I would have complained.

Userzzzzz · 25/10/2019 20:53

It’s grim. And even more grim if the babies had had vaccines recently as some shed. It’s not bloody difficult to head to the changing area especially as there was at least one adult per child in the OP.

Original poster
ToodlesnOOdleSAR · 25/10/2019 21:08

I did go back - not really to complain.

Spoke to the manager and just said I'd noticed it and found it unhygienic and a bit gross...I mentioned it must be hard for staff to comment with a fear of backlash, but from a customer point of view I'd have appreciated staff kindly pointing them to the toilets and then cleaning the table.

The changing facilities they didn't use were about 10 metres away. And the table they used as a baby changer was the closest to the door where the food comes out...yuck!

OP posts:
AthollPlace · 25/10/2019 21:21

Disgusting. My neighbour sells kitchens and I remember her telling me about someone who came into her high street showroom with no intention of buying a kitchen, just to use one of the kitchen worktops to change their baby! And then tried to give her the pooey nappy to put in the bin! They had to get the cleaner to bleach the worktop because customers often stand there having free coffee and biscuits while browsing the brochures, and obviously they can’t use a surface that’s had shit on it.

Zoidbergonthehalfshell · 25/10/2019 21:28

@HungryForApples and others - but its not just about germs, is it? I dont want to see bare, possibly shitty, arses (not even baby ones) and wet and/or dirty nappies when I'm eating. And I certainly don't want to smell them.

Beansandcoffee · 25/10/2019 21:46

We flew back from Majorca on a TUI flight in August and the pilot asked parents not to change their babies nappies on the seats but to use the changing tables in the toilets. Had never heard a pilot announce that before.

tabbiemoo · 25/10/2019 21:59

I was on a long haul flight where a woman behind me changed her baby’s nappy, the smell was so overpowering the entire plane could tell what she was doing. The cabin crew then spent the next 5 minutes trying to explain to her (unsuccessfully as she didn’t appear to speak/understand English) that she should use the facilities.

tabbiemoo · 25/10/2019 22:01

Although I do remember cramped changing facilities in a plane being a complete nightmare with a wriggly toddler!

MrsBadcrumble123 · 25/10/2019 23:19

Members of the public feel justified to complain loudly about BF but happy to potentially have faeces on their dining table?!!

leomama81 · 25/10/2019 23:22

If a mat was being used I really can't see the issue. Unless I was one of those poo everywhere changes of course!!

No one wants to see or smell someone else's baby shit while they are eating! It is so inconsiderate and gross, mat or not.

I once saw a couple at a beach cafe on holiday, one of the cafes that is on the sand, allow their toddler to squat in the sand right by everyone's tables and just do a poo right there before tossing a thin layer of sand on it. I did say something to the staff, it was absolutely disgusting.

leomama81 · 25/10/2019 23:30

Once customers have the left, are the plates not removed and tables disinfected anyway?

No!! A quick wipe down with a sponge is not "disinfecting". And even if it was disinfected, seriously, would you eat out of your toilet bowl just because some dettol had been bunged down there? It is also just about general consideration to people who don't want to smell and see shit while they are eating.

You may not have done this, but clear majority opinion about something almost everybody would rather not experience in a cafe is not "hysteria".

DBML · 25/10/2019 23:39

About seven years ago a friend visited my house with her new baby. We were chatting when suddenly she starts emptying her change bag, then proceeded to change the baby on my coffee table. I was utterly disgusted. I haven’t invited her back since.

manicmij · 26/10/2019 00:00

Do people not have any common sense nowadays? Are they becoming so lazy and entitled they can't even be bothered to walk to a toilet. If course YANBU. Report to the LA which ever department deals with eating places and tell them they are allowing baby changing on tables. That would soon stop such a horrible practice being permitted.

caringcarer · 26/10/2019 00:38

You should have complained to manager. That is disgusting.

Peanutbatter · 26/10/2019 00:41

Seen this in M&S.

swelchphr · 26/10/2019 09:30

Eww, that’s gross and completely inappropriate (and this coming from another mum of young children).

Lizzie0869 · 26/10/2019 09:38

A changing mat doesn't stop shit from stinking the place out, however. I'm assuming it's that because why would anyone feel the need to do it right then just because their baby had done a wee.

No, changing mats would make it less unhygienic, but it would still be minging. Yuck.