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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this unacceptable in a cafe

134 replies

ToodlesnOOdleSAR · 24/10/2019 13:03

DD and I are out having lunch in a nice cafe. Beautifully spacious with great facilities for baby, there are often mums with kids here.

We were just eating, I look up and there are baby twins, laid out on the table, one by mum and the other I assume to be grandma - changing their nappies.

Gross. As I mentioned there are good facilities, easily accessible...and it's not as if the mother was having a nightmare - babies were being quiet, not fussy and she also had grandma to help.

A worker here had a word with them, but seemed to just be laughing how cute they are...

AIBU? I'd personally never do this. I'm not a clean freak by any stretch but my god.

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 24/10/2019 13:53

YANBU. The only time I have ever seen this is in a Wetherspoons...

dayslikethese1 · 24/10/2019 13:54

Gross. If I saw someone do this in a cafe I would leave. It's gross whether there's a mat or not imo as I don't want to see shit when I'm eating. Why do people do this when there are facilities right there?

Butchyrestingface · 24/10/2019 13:57

Jesus. **

I hope they at least left a huge tip. Wink (TAAT reference).

flouncyfanny · 24/10/2019 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Idontwanttotalk · 24/10/2019 14:00

It is disgusting and you shoud have reported it the cafe's staff as a hygiene concern and/or to the person changing the baby at the time. If no-one calls them out on it that will further endorse them thinking it isn't a problem.

Perhaps you could tell the cafe's management that you weren't happy that the staff didn't find this an issue and say if you see it again you will refer them to Environmental Health Dept?

ParadiseLaundry · 24/10/2019 14:02

It's absolutely disgusting. I saw the same thing in a TGI Fridays in an airport a few years ago pre kids. It was actually also a grandma too incidentally. The toilet with changing facilities were right behind her! I was disgusted but did secretly wonder if I would feel differently about it when I was a parent.

2 DC now and I'm more disgusted at it than ever!

managedmis · 24/10/2019 14:04

This wouldn't have happened 20, even 10 years ago. Disgusting.

Mammylamb · 24/10/2019 14:05

Ugh. SIL used to do this and thought there was nothing wrong

Beautiful3 · 24/10/2019 14:06

Grim.

Ellie56 · 24/10/2019 14:08

Ew! Gross. You should report it OP.

1ColdFish · 24/10/2019 14:09

Digusting.

Try living in a refuge with a shared kitchen between 6 families. One always insisted on changing her TODDLER shitty nappy and all on the kitchen work tops.

MiniMum97 · 24/10/2019 14:14

If a mat was being used I really can't see the issue. Unless I was one of those poo everywhere changes of course!!

Gruzinkerbell1 · 24/10/2019 14:19

Appalling. Human waste and excrement should never ever be anywhere near where people are eating. I’d talk to management. It’s definitely an Environmental Health issue.

Abraid2 · 24/10/2019 14:20

But then either didn't put the nappy in the actual bin in the toilet or even in a nappy bag to dispose of in another bin outside (I usually stick it in my bag tied off if this happens). Nope, just dropped on the floor next to where they were eating.

That's rank. A delightful young woman who works in our village regularly throws a dirty, unwrapped nappy from her car into the hedge. People were trying to catch her in the act and I don't know if they've succeeded but she seems to have stopped or the baby has grown up a bit and doesn't need changing as much. Who does she think will clear it up after her? We don't have any road sweeping out here, so it's down to local people to pick up other people's shit. Literally. Even if it were a council worker or contractor, why should they have to do it, either?

Original poster
ToodlesnOOdleSAR · 24/10/2019 14:23

I think I'm going to go back and say something to the manager whilst I'm still in the vicinity.

No mat was used. But to be honest, if one were used, I'd still feel put off by it.

I know I'm a parent, but I don't expect people to sit and watch me wipe DD arse whilst they eat. And certainly don't think I have to watch others do it. And that's before we get into hygiene reasons.

Obviously anyone can have an accident or be in an emergency rush or something. But grandma, mum and babies were positively relaxes about it all. Took ages to fold the dirty nappies and kindly placed them on the end of the table. Disgusting I tell you!

OP posts:
Zebraaa · 24/10/2019 14:23

Disgusting Angry

Ketomeato · 24/10/2019 14:25

It’s horrendous how people can desensitise around their own little darlings.

My neighbour is normal and nice but when her kids were tiny, just lost all sensitivity, and changed the baby’s shitty nappy and then left it open on the table we were eating at! And let her toddler lick the biscuits and cupcakes!

Honeybee85 · 24/10/2019 14:27

That is digusting 🤢🤢🤢. It’s very antisocial behavior towards others besides that, what about washing hands after nappy change?!

Reminds me of a friend who changed her baby’s nappy on her couch whilst I was sitting next to her without a changing mat. After changing, she handed her husband the used nappy and as she handed it over, pee was dripping out of it on the couch 🤢. She also did not wash her hands nor cleaned the pee of the couch.

I also have a baby but really can’t understand this lack of hygiene standards in some parents

ArthurtheCatsHumanSlave · 24/10/2019 14:27

Appalling how common this seems to be.

I had this in a Cafe Nero. Mum changes baby directly on table. I pointed it out to staff, who didn't want to make a fuss. So I made a fuss instead. I told her it was un-hygenic and discourteous to others around her, there was even another family on the end of her table. Her response was that he was only a small baby, and it was only wee, and he needed changing. I pointed out the changing room, but she didn't want her baby to have to wait. Self-entitled, ignorant woman.

ArthurtheCatsHumanSlave · 24/10/2019 14:28

Oh - And she didn't wash her hands either - bleugh.

TonTonMacoute · 24/10/2019 14:28

Definitely not acceptable, I'm surprised none of the other customers said anything! I would have.

Twillow · 24/10/2019 14:28

If I've ever been in the position of having to change a nappy in an emergency, I would use the pushchair and also do it discretely. On a dinner table is vile enough at home let alone in a cafe.

SellmeyourMLMcrap · 24/10/2019 14:29

I'd have loudly asked the staff if it was acceptable to have shit on the table. If they'd said that it was I would have shit next to the rude fuckers.

Funguy · 24/10/2019 14:32

Utterly revolting and against Health and Safety. The cafe could have their licence taken away. People are weird and disgusting at times.

W0rriedMum · 24/10/2019 14:32

I recently seen a toddler placed on a potty in a shop for a poo. It's the exact same. The mum then asked staff for access to their toilet to dispose of the contents.

The mum had other children and her mother too. Why not leave the kids with the granny and pop out to the shop?

Staff are too embarrassed to say anything I think.