To ask if you did / will you defer your summerborn child?

[Chillisauceboss]

I feel hugely passionate about deferring my summerborn child - research led / emotion led and I just think they have so many years in education / work life that they should have another year 'at home' (nursery play based informal learning)
But... most people around me think I'm absolutely barmy to consider going against the norm.
What did you do / plan to do?!

I live somewhere where it's a lot more flexible.

And kids start school a year later here too.

DS started when he was almost 5 (in the 'correct' year) but almost went a year early as he was ready then. I also wouldn't have had a problem keeping him back a year if he'd needed it. Most people with summer kids do that here.

We deferred our son. He’s just started reception in September, having turned 5 in August. Really pleased with the decision, and so far nobody else has had an opinion.

He probably would have coped last year but he was far more ready this year. Last year would have been hard for him. And I think that the jump up to year 1 will be a lot easier for him at 6 than it would have been this year. He is most definitely amongst his peers where he is.

My summer born started school at just over 4...she was put up a year mid-primary and then decided to get her exams in secondary over and done with a year early too. She got straight A’s and was accepted in to university at 15. She got a first, a Masters, professional accreditation and is extremely driven, much more than her autumn-born siblings have been. I guess I’m trying to say every person is different and age has nothing to do with social/intellectual maturity or emotional well-being. Do what feels right for that individual child.

I think the "bored with another year at nursery" depends a lot on the nursery. My September born child was initially quite upset when she realised that a lot of her friends were leaving for school and I did worry about what she would do in nursery for that year. If she had not been overdue she would have been in that year and actually would probably have been fine - I doubt I would have looked for a deferral for her.
But the nursery staff were great and gave her bigger challenges, worked on her reading and writing etc. Likewise she always tended to have extension work at primary school, though things seem to have balanced out somewhat now. (Though that may be because she prefers to play sports rather than study these days )
I think the real message is that there needs to be a bit of flexibility. Being born between ANY two arbitrary dates doesn't make children the same.

I think it's dependent on the child.

My birthday is August 31st, obviously deferring wasn't an option when I was at school but I did well, I got the best GCSE results in my friendship group and was in the top 25% for my year group.

My DS is June born and the 3rd youngest in his class. He would be too old to defer anyway but he is thriving.

You know your child best and how they will cope.

I didn't. I'm glad it wasn't an option for us, though I don't think I would have seriously considered it even if it had been.

I have a December born, a May born and a July born, so fairly well spread. Even the July born was raring to go by the time she started school. She'd have driven us all round the bend if we had deferred her. She is 17 now and has been top of every school year ever since she started school.

It depends a lot on your child I suppose, and also on the schools and their admissions criteria where you live.

Not deferring my late August born ds school place. At his new school they have the option of half days until after the Christmas hols (or by agreement longer). Since the school are flexible and keen to adjust to how he copes in school I see no need to keep him home for another year. His dad was a summer born August child too. Brightest man I know and all round high achiver at school.

My premature, summer born was more then ready to start school at just turned 4 - holding him back would of been a disadvantage. He is now top set's for everything and still the youngest in his year group.

My June (so still summer born) 2nd child, born at full term. Although struggles a little more academically, would of been really bored with the children in the year below.

Only you know your child well enough if you should defer or not. Not all summer born's need to be deferred.

I am trying to ... I think it's a bloody hard process. It seems easy in theory, but then you get schools that have to have governors meetings just to discuss it as an option. And I'm in one of the easier counties for deceleration, but only IF your school is a community school. But unfortunately some of my nearest schools are church aided and they make it hard.

To me if it is presented as option it should be offered, not subject to ridiculous criteria or endless meetings, because we all have better things to do and it becomes a big stress. Then you start thinking why am I doing this, especially when everyone else thinks it's crazy

Nope. Born July 31st and will go into her year. Load of codswollop.

No we didn't defer. At the time we could have done but he would have had to start in Year 1 the next year not reception. We didn't think that wouldn't have worked either. He never struggled with the work but he did struggle with confidence - things like sport he wasn't so good at because he was nearly a year younger than a lot of the kids. He still thinks he is no good at sport and has only just got the confidence to start doing a musical instrument now at 15. At 15 I think things have levelled off. He has good friends and is academically very able. I am starting to fret that he might not be ready for university when the time comes though...

The evidence is very clear that summerborns struggle and continue to do so (to a decreasing extent) all through school. Anecdotes of individual children being fine starting school at just four yrs do not change the evidence of the effect on this group as a whole.

We start school earlier than almost any other country, even in the US they start at 5/6. So for me it was a no brainer to defer my August born. He started reception this year and it was definitely the right decision. He loved his extra year in preschool.

Ideally I think children should all have three years of really high quality preschool before starting formal education at 6/7.

I'd say go for it and defer. I don't get what the hurry is to pack them off to school too young.

I am in Ireland, where many children wait until are 5 to start school.
One wise head mistress gave me the following advise when trying to figure out when to send my bright but shy firstborn to school.
Think ahead to the teenage years. It is usuallly easier socially for a 14 year old in a mix of friends 13-14 years old than to be the youngest in 14-15 age group.

DD1 and DD2 now mid to late teens and I found this to be very true.

every person is different and age has nothing to do with social/intellectual maturity or emotional well-being

@MrsTeaspoon your DD clearly didn't inherit her brains from you - anecdotal evidence based on a single individual is ridiculous in this case. There are always outliers. It has been proven time and again that summer borns perform consistently worse at school that other children. Just because some summer borns perform very well it doesn't mean there isnt an issue here

My summer born joined their Reception year group at Easter, so deferred to then and missed a couple of terms.

No SEN, totally academically ready, but we were moving house, so it just seemed to make sense.

I wouldn't have done it otherwise, but I actually think it was much better emotionally for my daughter to have that few months extra time.

To the extent that, if I had other children I would absolutely seriously consider deferring or even starting them at Year 1.

Depends on the child.

My brother and I are July (late) and both excelled at school, me more in the early years as I was reading newspapers at 3 and a Chatty Cathy according to my mother (before I rebelled 😂).

My summer born male twins were at a speech therapist when they started school at just 4. Their language was behind. They were behind their classmates in many areas until...one day they just seemed to catch up around the end of reception/y1 and were among the top of their classes academically (one was given differentiated Maths work as that was his 'thing). Socially they met a lovely group of friends (all summer born boys coincidentally) although even at 13 this group are far from mature!

I'm not sure what I would have done had there been an option to defer. The girls were way ahead and mine were very little physically too.

My friend's boy was deferred but now he's bored at school in year 2 because he was already advanced. He's unhappy unfortunately. Now they're thinking of moving counties but not sure what will happen there.

Nope. Dd1 did not need or want it.

at the risk of stating the obvious - it depends.

e.g. in the following hypothetical circumstances i'd certainly defer:

(1) child was born prematurely in late August;
(2) the plan is for the child to eventually sit an 8+ exam or whatever they call it for admission to some kind of fancy school;
(3) child is showing signs of being slightly 'behind' in physical, emotional, congnitive or whatever terms;
(4) there's no financial or other imperative whatsoever to get the kid packed off to school asap; and
(5) you're super-confident that deferring wouldn't cause any problems in terms of getting a place at the school you want.

but if a kid seems to be thriving & none of the above applies then i wouldn't bother.

@MrsTeaspoon you surely recognise that your child is unusual and that you cannot extrapolate from her experience? "My child is summer born and is a genius who sailed through her education" is no more a rational reason for others to avoid deferral than "My grandfather smoked 60 a day from the age of 13 and lived to be 95 with no cardiorespiratory disease" is an argument in favour of smoking.
There is a considerable body of data that suggests that the youngest pupils in a year group, taken as a group, are at a disadvantage throughout their education, especially the boys. I have absolutely no issue with parents looking at that data, looking at their child, looking at their family situation and making an informed decision to start their child in school at just turned 4 - most of them will of course be ok.
There have been some sensible and reasoned arguments on this thread around things to consider when deciding but "my summer born child is a genius so it is stupid to defer" is not one of them.

Loving some of the stealth bragging here. Fine work people.

We didn’t defer my mid-August born DD and she is thriving at school - has made lots of friends and is just starting to read. She was definitely ready; it’s entirely down to the individual child though. Our friends whose son was born two days before DD decided to defer him, which was absolutely the right decision for them.

She is thriving at school Is this the actual key to success. The girls generally do ok academically despite being being summer born. I think the issue is the summer born boys readiness.

I'm an August born and so is my brother. I did much better at GCSE than him, but then went into the arts. He's actually a secondary teacher now !

My summer born is a boy. @Camomila I can't even get him to colour or draw, he due to go to school in September. I'm trying to decelerate him. He likes sharpening pencils or stabbing holes in paper, with a stabbing grip

As others have said, it very much depends on the child. My DS is September born so missed out on starting this year but is so ready for school. Yet my friends DD is 3 weeks older, so August born, and most agree she isn't ready for it. You just need to do what you think is best for your child. I think it will all even out in the end either way

We didn’t. Even though I wasn’t convinced he was ready, the school we found has a very ‘open play’ way of learning in reception. It was very similar to the way he spent his time at pre-school.
Very early days as he only started in August but he loves it and has learnt so much. He’s amazed me to be honest. He’s confidence is growing on a pretty much daily basis.

My dd was born in July. I didn't defer her starting school. She started off far behind where her February born big brother was when starting school. But she soon 'caught up' and her teachers have always said she's where she should be or ahead in all areas.