To ask if you did / will you defer your summerborn child?

[Chillisauceboss]

I feel hugely passionate about deferring my summerborn child - research led / emotion led and I just think they have so many years in education / work life that they should have another year 'at home' (nursery play based informal learning)
But... most people around me think I'm absolutely barmy to consider going against the norm.
What did you do / plan to do?!

Yes we have with ds1 (July born). I felt he wasnt ready, still napping, very shy. He's now in reception and settling in fine. I worry a little about whether he will become self conscious about it as he ages, or if he'll be bullied (or I'll be shunned by other mums!), but overall happy with the decision. Bit undecided about dc2 - he's also July born but more confident and boisterous and wants to start school like his older brother. But i feel I'll be robbed of an extra year with him and stats for summer born boys make me think i should delay.

Also had lots of others question me and say 'they'll be fine'. Interestingly, all people with kids out of the system said they think its a good idea to delay, whereas parents of younger children, esp summer borns who havent delayed, think its a bad idea/ ridiculous.

So if you defer do the children skip a year later on in primary so they’re in the correct year group for high school?

@Pinkypurple35 whilst there's no cast iron contracts - the 'rule' is that a school would have to prove why it is in the best interest of the child to skip a year of school. I can't understand (and haven't seen any evidence) of a secondary school proving that it's in the best interest of the child to miss year 7 and go into year 8. I find it highly unrealistic a secondary school could prove that a child would be better suited entering yr 8 straight from primary school (language lessons etc, yr 9 exams)

I wish I had, but I didn’t. She struggled all through primary and I regretted it. But she is doing very well in secondary and really caught up

No. If a child starts reception later at compulsory school age and out of original cohort they should not be made to skip a year. Everything boils down to the childs best interest and completely skipping a year of education can be argued as never being in a childs best interest... hence why now children can go into reception after deferring instead of year 1.

DS1 was born early July. Academically he may have benefited from starting a year later. Socially and based on personality? Nope, he needed to go when he did. He's a juggernaut. Has been since he could crawl. He would have flattened the children in his class had I kept him back a year. From a social skills POV, he does well being one of the younger ones. He's extremely articulate and when he was younger, got frustrated with conversations with younger children. That's settled now he's older. His boisterous nature means that he's able to bounce around with friends that are almost a year older than him, and as such a bit hardier.

From an academic perspective, well he's not really, so I think that he would have always struggled. The school are amazing, and he gets support where he needs it.

It's worth noting that if you defer, they will usually go straight into year one, which was the case with a girl in DS1s class. For me, that's too big a jump from a preschool environment. Reception acts as a bridge between preschool and the National Curriculum. Reception still comes under the EYFS, which is the curriculum used by preschools. It's in this year that they get the chance to learn how to be at school and to be honest, they spend most of the day playing. Year one is much more academically focused.

From personal experience, I'm a late late August baby. I started a week after my 4th birthday. Apparently I was ready, so off I went. Any struggles that I had through my school life were unrelated to my age.

Ultimately, you know your child best. Would you consider part time reception? Your child may surprise you by wanting to do more.

@highheelsandwitcheshats

"It's worth noting that if you defer, they will usually go straight into year one, which was the case with a girl in DS1s class. For me, that's too big a jump from a preschool environment. Reception acts as a bridge between preschool and the National Curriculum"

No they wont. The summerborn guidelines we are discussing in this thread is all about deferring reception by a year. Children do not now have to go straight into year one they go into reception at compulsory school age.

Ds isn't summer born he's January born but when he started mainstream school sept 2018 he had the development age of a 16-26 month old - he was 4yr 8m. (Autism / learning difficulties) he was still wearing nappies / struggling to use a spoon etc.

He is in yr1 now and has made good progress, I was adamant I wasn't letting him start being that delayed but I'm so glad I did. He is still delayed given his diagnosis but he's come on so much in the last year.

All these comments saying that you need to make the decision as your child is 2.5/3. You can just decline the place you know. Doesn't hurt to look at schools, apply and then decline. You could also speak to the school about part-time hours. A child doesn't legally have to be there until the term after their 5th birthday, so there are options to play with.

If they can’t be made to skip a year, I would absolutely do it. I wish it would have been around when my dd started, she’s late june born and has struggled academically and has generally been less mature than her peers.
My only concern would be if they made you miss a year from top end primary to jump to yr7 or yr8, but as you explained, it’s to be proved it’s in the child’s best interests, it absolutely wouldn’t be - in my opinion it would be downright unfeasible. I think it’s an excellent idea.

Children do not now have to go straight into year one they go into reception at compulsory school age.

It’s worth remembering that this is completely dependent on getting the agreement of your LA and the head teachers of your chosen school.

Parents have the right to ask that their summer born child be deferred so they start Reception at compulsory school age (the term after their 5th birthday).
LAs and schools are not obligated to agree to this. And it seems that some LAs are much more flexible than others, there’s not consistency about how easy this is across England. If the LA and school refuse to agree to a deferral, then a summer born child starting school at CSA would be forced straight into Year 1.

I have both extremes... DS was born at very start of September, DD at the very end of August. If DS had been born on his due date (he was two weeks late) we may well have deferred him as I don't think he would have been ready emotionally. He has gained a lot in terms of confidence by being the oldest in the class and excels academically. We didn't defer DD as she is a totally different character- very confident and gregarious, and was raring to go. She was exhausted to start with, literally falling asleep on the floor, but soon got used to it, made loads of friends and is progressing well. So I echo what many other posters have said... it totally depends on the child.

And when we moved between LAs, the new LA refused to accept our DC’s deferral as he’d been deferred in a different LA.

The primary school we moved to, and an educational psychologist the school brought in, both insisted it was in my DC’s best interests to be put in his “correct” chronological year group, despite this meaning he skipped a year.

(Our choices of school were limited as it was an in year admission and most schools near us were full)

I’m applying for schools at the moment but I think my summer born will be ready. There are a few of the August boys at nursery that seem like they might struggle though. You can just see (at this point) they don’t have the same social skills and can’t concentrate.

It is such a big difference at that age and you can see the advantage autumn born children have. On the board, there is a display that the children have done. Two of the autumn born children have written their names beautifully on their work (one boy, one girl). Some of the summer born boys, have just about managed mark making on their pictures. There is a spectrum of ability across the other birth months and you’d be hard pressed to guess month of birth other then the extreme ends.

My summer born can concentrate and share nicely. She recognises all the letters and can count and subtract up to 20 and is starting to write and recognise words. I’m not worried about the academic side- she’s ready for that. The aspects I’m more worried about are self care. Over the next few months we need to work on wiping her bottom herself (she just can’t do poos), and she still gets very tried (while she refuses to nap, she conks out in the car).

No they wont. The summerborn guidelines we are discussing in this thread is all about deferring reception by a year. Children do not now have to go straight into year one they go into reception at compulsory school age

Taken from the actual guidelines themselves

School admission authorities are required to provide for the admission of all children in the September following their fourth birthday, but flexibilities exist for children whose parents do not feel they are ready to begin school before they reach compulsory school age

Where a parent requests their child is admitted out of their normal age group, the school admission authority is responsible for making the decision on which year group a child should be admitted to. They are required to make a decision on the basis of the circumstances of the case and in the best interests of the child concerned

There is no statutory barrier to children being admitted outside their normal age group, but parents do not have the right to insist that their child is admitted to a particular age group

OP, why not go and look at your preferred schools and talk to them? Only then will you really be able to make an informed decision as you can read and research all day, but until you've seen the environment and spoken to the staff, you can't be sure what you're deciding against. Unless you've got older children and already know the school and I've missed that.

It definitely depends on the child. My DD is mid August and she started school a fortnight after she turned four. She was definitely ready for it and has flourished within the school environment. She loves the social aspect and the structure I think. She’s in year 3 now and has always been incredibly academic.

Crazyoldmaurice oh sorry my understanding was kids who deferred went straight to year 1. Either way Id think id rather my child just starts in the correct year group, and starts learning as early as possible / save me some nursery fees.

I haven’t yet, Dc2, 8 years old is May born but was premature & had the usual delays as well as another condition (that can sometimes mean sen). He is doing amazingly well & works at “greater depth” in all subjects & has made some very good friends. Dc4, 4 years old is a late June birthday & has been trying to break in to school since he could walk. He loves it & is exactly where he should be academically, he’s emotionally doing very well with it too, far better than Feb born Dc3 did in reception.

Dc5, currently 2 is a late July baby. At the moment we have no plans to defer as although our school will let him stay in the same year group throughout the secondary schools he could go to don’t support it, meaning he’d likely have to skip y7 which I think would be more harmful overall (local Grammar school do but obviously the 11+ would need to be passed first & I can’t exactly ask him at 3/4 if he fancies taking it)

@Welshwabbit
I have identical educational attainment to you - mid August born.

I do wish I had been deferred in some ways. I think I was probably a bit young emotionally and lacking in confidence and it took until about year 4 at school before I was recognised as bright despite reading miles above my age - before then, I was scraping along in classroom activities and I was certainly pigeon holed for a lot of primary school as distinctly average, which became a self fulfilling prophesy because all the bright kids got the extension activities etc. I did catch up, but my parents had to be "those parents" for a while in demanding a bit more for me. If they hadn't worked so hard, I probably would have finished primary school being insufficiently challenged.

I also think because I have always been a bit socially awkward anyway, I definitely felt I struggled more as an August born. I do regret not having a gap year before university as I think that probably would have helped me to shake off the sense of being behind the curve!

My DD is 7 now and end of July birthday. I think at the time it was an option to defer summerborns but it was quite unusual. I remember having a conversation with my DH about it though as my friend who lives in a different area and had a DD who was slightly older had taken the decision to defer. So DH and I had the conversation of what would we do if it was a serious option. We both said that for our DD we wouldn’t defer as she was very bright for her age and we felt ‘ready for school’. However, what I hadn’t considered and hadn’t anticipated was the fact that although academically she was ready, physically and emotionally she wasn’t. That first year of hers was tough. She was that child that cried every morning because she didn’t want to leave me, the child that cried in class, she struggled to make friends because she didn’t want to be there, she came home from school and had a meltdown every day because she was so exhausted, I was the Mum who always had to have a chat with the teacher after school to see what we could do to help her settle. The following year was so so different, she had just matured that bit more and grown in confidence and although we had a few wobbles in the morning, she thrived in a way she had failed to do the year before and I remember thinking that if we had deferred like the friend did then maybe that first year of school would have been very different.

@thetoddleratemyhomework I do think the social aspect is important. I was quite an outgoing child and don't recall it being a problem but I can see it would be for others. I had some social issues at school that I think were cultural rather than age-related - although who knows!

Definitely important to have teachers who adapt to ability as well and don't pigeonhole based on age. I don't think my primary school was great at that, but they did do things like the Scottish Maths textbooks, which meant I could work at my own pace without having to stand out all the time and be "that kid". Not to say I wasn't "that kid" for much of my education, but that definitely helped.

I think it’s good that parents who suspect their child is not ready for Reception (and can facilitate an extra year at pre-school) can have that choice.

BUT I have noticed an evangelism around this subject (both on MN and in life) that it is an empirical fact that summerborns do badly in their chronological year, and only parents that aren’t educated/clued up or only those that ‘don’t care’ about the ‘evidence’ choose not to defer.

I know one child who definitely seemed unready and his mum deferred. She’s very vocal about it and it’s becoming an expectation that others in the circle should do the same.

My DD is July born. She’s our third child. At 2.5 I simply can’t conceive of deferring her. She’s highly social, vocabulary and counting well ahead. My DS’s best friend in yr1 has an end of August birthday and in all the top groups, it would have made no sense to hold him back.

It would cost us a lot to keep DD in pre-school another year (we’ll only get 15 hrs funding). It would hold me back another year from increasing my working hours. DD wouldn’t go to school with any of her friends (who are all in the school year). She’s showing all signs of being more than ready.

I think it’s important these discussions don’t turn into implications that parents that don’t hold their summer born back are disadvantaging their child. All kids are different.

My DD's birthday is 23rd July, so obviously she'll be amongst the youngest in her year.

My current feeling atm is to NOT defer her. My logic is that somebody has to be the youngest in the school year. However, I'm open to changing my mind as she gets older and starts at school

I didn't consider delaying for DS as he was more than ready for school. I think another year at nursery would have been torture for him.

He is very bright and independent, among the top of the class for all tests and behaviour so it was the right choice for us.

Yes I did with my son and very happy with my decision. He was due beginning of September but came a few days early so was born end of August. Seemed unfair that he should have to go to school a whole year earlier because if that. He had speech delay and is very little for his age and I felt he was not at all ready for full time school so I applied to the admissions authority and local schools to defer and they all agreed it would benefit him. He started Reception at age 5 and has done brilliantly. I did have negative comments, mainly from in laws who didn't understand and just saw it as holding him back or thinking he was missing a year of school. You know your own child and every child is different. Alot of people think the child will have to miss reception year and go into year one but that's not the case and I made sure I got it agreed by admissions authority and local schools that he would be accepted into reception and would stay with that year group. If it meant skipping reception and straight to year one I wouldn't have done it as they learn so much in reception and form friendship groups.