To ask if you did / will you defer your summerborn child?

[Chillisauceboss]

I feel hugely passionate about deferring my summerborn child - research led / emotion led and I just think they have so many years in education / work life that they should have another year 'at home' (nursery play based informal learning)
But... most people around me think I'm absolutely barmy to consider going against the norm.
What did you do / plan to do?!

DD is late July, as was I and DH is August born.

She's only 15 months but I don't imagine we'll choose to defer her, she will have been in full time nursery for 3 years by then and judging her as she is today, I think she'll be more than ready. Adding to DH and I having not had issues starting school at the same age. So unless something huge comes to light in that time, no.

Of course, you're the only one who knows your child and you just need to understand your reasons, leave other people to their opinions. Our personal circumstances and needing to use full time nursery already, I think starting school will be no different as it is for those born in the year before.

Our school is all play based learning for the first 3 years, it doesnt seem that different to nursery (just cheaper!)

We have 2 DDs, both August born and have deferred both. No SEN just not emotionally / socially ready.

At first when I raised it with the LA they said it was a No if no SEN, based on a misunderstanding (I suspect wilful) of the admissions code and summer born advice. I sent them a full written explanation of the rules and explained why it was in DD's best interest to be deferred and they agreed. Did the same thing with DD2 but by then there was less of a battle to be had!

Girls are now in Y3 and reception respectively, and it was absolutely the right decision for them. DD1 was able to read already when she started Reception but has never complained of being bored - the novelty of the classroom environment and getting used to the independence needed (although she had been at nursery for a year before ). DD2 also is so much more confident and independent than she was a year ago and is thriving rather than 'coping'...

School is a big step up from nursery and , importantly, Y1 is a big step up from reception - they're expected to spend a lot more time sitting at tables concentrating and reading / writing. While a summerborn 4yo might be fine in Reception which is mostly playbased, they may struggle when it comes to Y1. If they were born just a couple of weeks later in early Sept, no one would be suggesting that they'd be bored, held back, etc. I think a lot of people who haven't deferred their summer norms get over-defensive about this - but you just have to do what's right for you.

I would have loved to delay my summer born But my LA makes it very difficult and we plan to move next summer to an area which haven’t approved any requests yet. We decided rather than have him miss the whole of reception to send him part time. The school aren’t happy but it’s not their decision. He is doing well so far and enjoying school, he’s in the top half of his class ability wise but we live in a very deprived area with typical class profile low attainment on entry. I suspect in most schools he would be slightly below the middle of the class in most areas and slightly above in maths skills. He is very tired and noticeably less emotionally mature than the older kids in his class. He will ultimately do well this year but I suspect he will struggle hugely with the move to year 1. It irritates me that even elsewhere in the UK he would have had another year at hime as if we lived in Scotland he wouldn’t have started till next year.
I was a September born child and had a huge advantage at school, in all fairness even if I’d started the year before I’d have been ahead of most of the class but emotionally there is no way I’d have been ready and would have struggled a lot. I wish it was easier to get a reception start at CSA everywhere or that we would just start school later.

I did not defer my July baby. Totally ready as far as brains were concerned but suffered a bit socially.

Just because a primary school defers, does not mean a secondary school will. You have to apply in Y5 (in the year your child is the chronological year to be applying), then once you have been allocated a place you have to ask for a deferral.
The exceptions to this are academies, private schools and if your child has an EHCP. If your child has an EHCP and it is written in there that they should stay in their ‘out of year cohort’ right through school, then they will automatically move up to Y7 with their current year group.
Another thing to think about is that a child can legally leave school/college at 18 which is a year before deferred children will take their A levels. Be prepared for them to want to leave before you want them too!

Mine was more than ready socially but probably not from an educational pov. However his reception year was very relaxed and all about play so it worked well. That said, when the class got into year 1, a letter was sent to all parents pointing out that the class didn't know the key words they should have done at that point! I think the reception teacher went off piste and left not long after. So my son might have struggled if the curriculum had been followed.

We didn't defer DS who is a late Aug born.
He was absolutely fine in infants school both socially and academically. Fast forward 3 years and he's just started junior school. I so wish we had deferred now. He's finding it a really hard transition and socially is struggling as he is quite emotionally immature. Whereas it wasn't noticable that he was summer born at infants, it is very noticeable now that he is the youngest in the school.
If only I could turn the clock back

Ds is a 31st August baby though he is now 15. Didn't defer and have had no issues at all, apart from me worrying from time to time. I think it very much depends on the child

Reading some, but not all previous comments, it would seem there is no perfect answer, but that it depends on the child, and the LA. I would add my experience as follows:

DD1, in nursery from 6 months old, from 8am until 6pm. She was a July baby, but because of that semi- "formal" setting all her life, was very ready for school at just 4 years old. Our LA however, wouldn't start her at all in Sept, and then only half days from January, so unfortunately we had to go private to get her full time straight away. She was already reading and writing from her Montessori, so would have effectively been going backwards. She always thrived, and we never had a problem with her being youngest in the class. She was both socially, and academically ready.

DD2, did start at nursery but later, at 1, and then only part-time. I then gave up work, and she was at home with me, although still doing some morning nursery sessions. She was an April baby, and although we did start her at 4+, she was never really interested in formal schooling. Her whole primary school experience was a nightmare, she just wasn't engaged. Having struggled through reception her teachers parting remarks were "at least she have left us being able to read". Poor DD2 really didn't find her mojo until secondary, but now is a top performer, and doing well. Should we have started her later at primary? Probably, but for her later would have meant 6 or 7........

So, my experience, very much child dependent, but we sadly don't have that much flexibility in the current system. It's a shame, because for DD2, that would have made her EY education so much more pleasant.

But mygrandchildren they'd have to show it was in the child's best interests to miss a year of school - why would any school want a child to do that and how would they make that case? I'm confident we'll be able to argue against any such attempt.

In addition, I think when you're looking at what's best for a child aged 3 or 4, yes you do have to consider issues that far in the future - but at the same time, I would never have decided not to defer 'just in case' something tricky may happen further down the line - we'll deal with that when we get to it.

Our head teacher refused to allow DS to defer. As an August born boy I thought he'd benefit from the deferral.

He's now Year 6 and on the SEN register but it's taken years of struggle to get support for a boy who struggled to cope with school. Defer if you can. Ignore head teachers who tell you their NQT in Reception can cope with a range of abilities in their class. DS made no progress at all academically in Reception.

My mid August DD hasn't been deferred. She's confident bordering on cocky anyway, right up there at Sports day last year and skips into school much happier than half of the September born children...

She is also very focussed when interested - has shot ahead in maths and her drawing has come on leaps and bounds in the first half term.

She's not the shortest by a long shot.

So far I think deferring her would have been a big mistake.

@Welshwabbit

Yes, I think my maths took off too at the point at which I just had a book to worth through on my own from about Y4, rather than being given table/stream-based activities, as the problem was that they had put me in the wrong stream. Did we go to the same school?!!!! Once I overtook the "clever table", my parents were not "those parents" any more. Once I got to secondary school, I got the chance to start again without the pigeonholing anyway and realised I was quite bright after all.

I don't think it affected me long term, but I do think that what gives summer borns many issues is a bit of emotional/social immaturity, combined with the fact that teachers and sports coaches etc can fall into the trap of pigeonholing based on who is good at what at a very particular early stage (and for sports coaches, it is often additionally complicated due to physical development as well as skills). Being the youngest is not always such a disadvantage in every setting - in many families the younger sibling plays catch up and develops more quickly as a result - Andy Murray, for example. I guess it is horses for courses. It is totally understandable in a class of 32 kids (in my day) that there is an element of pigeonholing of young summer born children, but I guess as well as parents deferring children, it would be helpful to ensure that there is flexibility in thinking in assessing children's progress as they move through their lives. This is not intended to be an attack on teachers btw - I am only basing this on my own experiences and those of other summer borns that I know, such as my DH.

HildaSnibbs We had a little one who deferred at a local school but then moved and the new school refused the deferment, citing all sorts of reasons why they could and would meet the child's needs. Everyone involved was really surprised, given that one school had already agreed this was in the child's best interests. Who knows why schools make the decisions they do!
I think you are right not to worry too far about the future, but people can't always make an informed decision if they don't have all the facts. It's a difficult decision to make and good luck to anyone making it!

We did not defer (in Scotland - daughter is late January-born) and I only know one or two people who did defer.

Academically she is doing just fine so far. She is bright and would have been bored rigid with a other year at nursery with kids a year younger. I don’t believe it would have done her any favours at all. However, some of the girls in her class do seem very grown up in comparison. She’s made friends though so it doesn’t seem to have held her back.

The only thing I would say is that she is self-conscious about being the youngest in her year, and about being four when most of her friends are either already five or just about to turn five.

A comment on sports as I notice a couple of people have said that deferred children would be separated from their school friends in sport. In outside of school clubs that happens anyway in quite a lot of sports. My September born child plays 2 sports, both of whom define their age groups on calendar year, not school year. Hence she is in the sporting year above many of her school friends. That said, most sports that I know of work in 2 year cohorts, U12, U14 etc so some years her school friends are in her group, other times not. I don't think a deferred summer born would be seen as odd by being in a different group to school friends as, in my experience anyway, the children in sports clubs are used to not always being with their school group. Most clubs have a mix of kids from different schools and probably some HE'd children too so different friendships are made anyway.
School sports might be an issue it is true, and I confess I had never thought about that. The child I would like to have deferred would never have been good enough or wanted to be on a school sports team whatever year he was in, so it hadn't really crossed my mind!

It’s funny how the argument often goes that a deferred child will be bored with another year in nursery. It’s so wrong. No 4 year old is going to bored playing all day in a stimulating environment. My daughter is extremely bright, but she wasn’t ready for school. There is a difference. And she was never bored.

Reception is not the same as nursery. The EYFS take a whole different path when school starts. They do most of their phonics learning in reception, learn to write and learn basic maths, numbers, mathematical concepts. They have to survive a formal classroom setting which is poles apart from nursery. I observed a reception class before making my deferral decision. Even if my child could have got through the day without a big sleep (which she couldn’t at 4), she couldn’t hold a pencil properly, couldn’t concentrate to the extent required or sit on a chair for any length of time, wasn’t toilet trained properly (no fault of ours, genuinely very late). We are, compared to most, very strict parents, so this wasn’t about soft parenting. It was about academic survival for our daughter. A premature start to reception can put even the brightest kids off school. In both my children’s classes, the ones who struggle (academically and socially) are summer born. It is a lasting legacy.

We will have to reapply to defer her secondary start at the time her chronological cohort goes to school (so when she is moving from year 5 to year 6). I’ve lobbied my MP, Parliament, DfE etc for more clarity on remaining with her adopted cohort throughout school but to no avail. However, the Rules say that the decision will be taken in her best interests at that time. I fail to see how making a child miss year 6 or skip year 7 could ever be in the best interests of an otherwise thriving child. I’ll take my chances, because seeing her thrive is all the evidence I need about our decision being the correct one.

Like a PP my eldest son scraped in to his year by a matter of hours (31st August born). He hasn't struggled and is flying academically.
It is less noticeable now he is at senior school (and is incredibly tall too) but he did look the youngest when he started reception three days after turning 4!
All depends on the child though I guess.

Interestingly there is quite a lot of talk in some youth sports circles these days about trying to group young athletes, especially at higher levels, developmentally rather than strictly by chronological age. The idea being to train cohorts with similar physical abilities together so you don't get the situation that can be very noticeable particularly in U16, and even U14 boys where some of the players are physically almost full grown men and others are still little boys. I think it is an interesting idea, but would be very difficult to objectively police.
Plus physical maturity does not necessarily tally with emotional maturity so a physically well developed but emotionally "young" player could be disadvantaged. Which I suppose just goes to show that however groups are divided there is never going to be a perfect system.

It’s funny how the argument often goes that a deferred child will be bored with another year in nursery. It’s so wrong. No 4 year old is going to bored playing all day in a stimulating environment. My daughter is extremely bright, but she wasn’t ready for school. There is a difference. And she was never bored

See I disagree. My daughter loved nursery but she outgrew it. She was desperate to learn to read and was already writing. Nursery can only take them so far.

There was no marked difference between her and the older kids in her nursery class. There was a big difference between her and the younger ones who would have become her peers.

If your child isn’t/wasn’t ready then that’s fine but it won’t be the case for every child.

Personally I wouldn't for two reasons, one is because I'm end of August born and would have been very angry as a teen if I had to wait an extra year to leave home. Secondly they won't be able to play sports etc for school, maths comps etc are all based on normal school ages - more importantly my DD's bursary is based on her calendar age she had to be born in the school year and not defer, it's worth £4K a year at university!

Go for it. Speaking as a ex teacher with 20 years experience (secondary though) I would say if you feel it's best for your child then go for it. They are a long time in education and your DC will either be young throughout (which isn't an advantage due to child development) or older and ready. OAMO.

I live in a country where you can opt to do this (or the school recommends it after 1 or 2 years to repeat the year.) my son is the youngest in his class and i agonised over this for about 2 years before he started school, but left him in the 'correct' academic year. What i have found is on his class there are 4 boys (and 0 girls) who deferred. It has made no difference academically to any of them, ie the older boys are not advantaged, they are just at differering levels in the class. My son is thriving, so having a good proportion of much older boys (half the boys in the class are at least 10 months older than him) didn't act as a disadvantage to him, which was a worry to me beforehand.

Ps how tired they are in reception is down to the individual, mine are two weeks (and 2 years) apart but one coped brilliantly and was ready to learn by 3, the other napped from 3.30-6 every afternoon until she was 7 and does at 19 given a chance. Just think of the long term rather than short term because once you defer it's hard to skip forward