To ask if you did / will you defer your summerborn child?

[Chillisauceboss]

I feel hugely passionate about deferring my summerborn child - research led / emotion led and I just think they have so many years in education / work life that they should have another year 'at home' (nursery play based informal learning)
But... most people around me think I'm absolutely barmy to consider going against the norm.
What did you do / plan to do?!

@Welshwabbit the OP states it was for "research led/emotional led" reasons. And like elbowedout has said its impossible to know further down the line what your childs time at school as a summerborn will be like, so for some people (like me) it's more weighing up the research against the risks and finding the lesser evil, to me I'd rather give my daughter some breathing space to thrive at school rather than risk her just managing and scraping by.

It's all well and good assessing if your child is ready for reception, which thankfully now theres the option for those that are not ready. But the option of just being summerborn alone should be enough because it's not all about reception , it's about the impact of being summerborn later on in the school journey which is where evidence suggests summerborns do struggle.

God no I won’t defer my August born DD- I don’t think it’s beneficial to have her miss reception, miss making friends and miss getting to grips with school. It’s why I was also adamant DD would go to a nursery and not a childMinder so she could get to grips with the concept of a place of learning early on.

Wasn’t an option when my summer born were little but I would have absolutely done this for my July born son. In the end we went down the home education route through infant school years. If it had been an option I may have sent him to school that year later when he was more mature.

My August born daughter was ready to go to school at the right time and enjoyed it. However I think a deferral would have benefitted her more in the GSCE years. She wasn’t quite ready to focus on exams and take them seriously. By collage a year or so later she was much better at organising her time. She also found it frustrating being last of her peers to start driving - also a shame as transport to college from home (rural) would have been made easier if she could have driven herself sooner.

We have had a couple parents do this at the nursery for end of August children and it is the right decision for those particular children.

My DD was born at the end of August and we didnt defer, although we thought it through. She perhaps took longer to get the hang of reading and writing than the older kids in her class, but now (year 4) she is excelling and is not behind at all. If you think your child needs to defer then it is worth having that discussion with the school, but dont do it just based on age as that alone won't predict how they will cope with school.

@Onlyfoolsnmothers
Where did you get missing reception from? We are talking about starting reception a year later at compulsory school age.

No I haven’t. My just three year old is in the pre school attached to his primary and he will start reception next September.

He loves it, and other than height there is no noticeable difference between His peers and himself. My eldest sons best friend was so born 31/08/2019 and you absolutely wouldn’t know in terms of academics, or social interactions.

To be honest, I have to go back to work when my child is one anyway so either way they are in full time childcare/education - at least education doesn’t cost me £900 a month.

No, my father, brother and me are all summerborn (end of july or august). My brother and me were also brought up bilingual. We all did really well in school. Now I think of it my niece is summerborn too, she is top of her class in math.

No didn’t hold mine back (mid July born)

She’s year 11 now and doing really well

@Welshwabbit there's a couple of days difference between DD being in the year below naturally. If she'd have had the Sept 1st birthday there'd have been no thought process about stretching her etc or it being 'wrong' her being in that year group. I have to make a judgement call and apply just as she turns 3 so I have to decide whilst she's 2.5 years old how I think she will cope ina school setting. I can see no rational evidence that deferring could harm, but see lots of evidence that summerborns can fall behind. Even if I thought she was bright and emotionally capable the extra year of play based learning can only benefit her. It also plays all the way through to going to Uni, accessing driving tests, sitting exams and coping with stress. An extra year of emotional experience can only benefit so why wouldn't I make that choice. Very hard to decide and base on the child when I have to make school applications just as she hits 3

What happens when they go to high school? I don't know of any children (teacher) born in August who move up the year after.

One of my DC started school only days after their 4th B'day. They were in the top bands throughout and got high grades (7/8/9s) at GCSE. It depends on the child how well they cope academically.

They do plan to defer University & take a year out after 'A' levels though. Many people do that I think?

Its almost as if every summerhorn child is different and has different needs. Wow what a concept.

This!!! Exactly!

It's a tricky balance. I was confident DS was ready academically and socially but was concerned he would struggle with tiredness and self care, which proved to be spot on. The main challenge was problems with toileting (he'd been in pants for over a year before starting school but in the school environment he stopped drinking and started withholding which caused problems). But even so, I think on balance it was the right decision not to defer - he's thriving socially, reading y2 books and absorbing knowledge like a curious sponge. Part of my thinking was influenced by being old for my year and always being bored academically so I never got used to stretching myself.

It comes down to the individual child and I wouldn't judge any parent who decided to defer. What does worry me with the current system is the impact on kids who would have benefited from being deferred but aren't for childcare cost reasons, particularly if they're not getting support with their learning at home - widening the age range in a class does amplify the scope for such children to be seriously disadvantaged compared to their peers.

@UnaOfStormhold I agree with you on the summerborns that could benefit but due to nursery prices or even parents not being educated on the deferral process could leave some summerborns behind. I recall a thread in which parents of deferred summerborns were referred to as 'pointy elbowed / educated / middle class / financially privileged etc. So a poster pointed out that the raining summerborns not deferred could face even more disadvantages

Sorry, meant to say that's in year 1 - he seems to have taken to the more intensive teaching well.

I have 3 summer born children. Now aged DD1 (18) DD2 (15) and DS (8). Didn’t have the choice with them to defer. Had I had the choice I think I would have done with DD1 (PFB!). It would have been the wrong choice. She was very very advanced socially and academically for her year despite being one of the youngest. And then in year 11 she got very sick and missed a year of education and it means she is still not yet 19 even though she is still in school. So she doesn’t feel she stands out so much for being ‘back’ a year.

DD2 struggled a bit in infants (tiredness mainly) but by the time she was in year 3 she was absolutely thriving where she was. And is set (hopefully) to do really well in her GCSEs. She has always made friends easily.

DS is quite a young 8, the youngest in his class and just diagnosed as dyslexic. I wish I had deferred him. Though sociable and friendly he would have been better with a peer group a bit younger.

All this means I suppose is that it is so child specific. Not one size fits all. It’s great to have choices but as a loving parent it can sometimes be a burden of responsibility too to make the right decision. Good luck.

I wish I had but sent my 4yr old to an independent school in September. Are you a member of the FB group flexible admissions for summer born? Loads of good advice there.

For me, it is the right decision to defer DS. He is a summerborn (June) who has ASD, is currently working with a 2 year developmental delay and has a around a 2 year speech delay, but is mostly no-verbal. Our decision was guided by his nursery who are happy to keep him for this year and in reality he is working much closer to the year below his age group. Luckily our LA have agreed with the defferal and have said that this will extend throughout his schooling into secondary.

@Spaceman101 yes it's a brilliant source of information!
Thanks :)

No, my July born DS went to school nursery at 3 and school 4. He is doing great and was so so ready.

Mine is a 15th Aug and I am 25th. Both of us went to school v young emotionally and educationally. I found that the primary difficulty was socially NOT educationally. If you do defer remember you go into the correct age year for the child so yr 1 not reception so in terms of when they leave it makes no difference. I came round to seeing it as having a year in hand in case things did go tits up at some point. She struggled for maybe 2 yrs (she was a preemie as well as August - should have been October!!) but then things fell into place and she does well and certainly in top 20 percent of year at age 14 with a mature head on her shoulders

From reading posts from the FB group it varies wildly depending on where you live and the opinion of the HT. I chose the option for my son because I knew I'd have a fight on my hands and I wasn't ready for it. If I had been in a more accommodating local authority I wouldn't have even thought about it and waited until he was CSA

I never deferred my summer born. Someone has to be the youngest. Fwiw she excelling academically along with her best friend also summer born. I am also a July baby and was in the top band for everything. My October born however is speech delayed. Lots of non summer born children also struggle too.

@Chillisauceboss actually I know a few people who had September birthdays and were moved up into the next year, so I think not being stretched in your year group because you're the oldest in the year can be a concern.

Would you not be making applications in January, when your daughter is 3 and 4.5 months? My eldest is a late April birthday, so was 3 and 8.5 months when we were making applications, and although he is a shy child, I felt with my own assessment and input from his nursery that he was ready for school.

I understand the points about later life - although I have to say that, as a late August born child in a rural area it was quite nice that everyone else could drive before me and gave me lifts back from the pub I wasn't legally allowed to drink in.

All that said, it's entirely your right to request deferral and I understand your reasoning. I am not up on the current law and process, but is it still the case that it's the school's/LEA's decision as to whether your child gets to start in reception, or whether they would go straight into Year 1 after deferral? If so, and they decided your child should go straight into Year 1, would you then decide not to defer?

Finally, found this interesting article, although I haven't read the study it reports:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-44155068

No I did not defer July born ds. Yes some things he finds hard (writing / some friendship stuff) he is in year 1 now. His school is big (120 in his year) in his class around 1/3 are July or August birthdays so he is not in a class or year where everyone is 12 months older.

I don't believe that extending the age range in a class is a good thing. Evidence suggests that it is an issue being the youngest im the cohort, not the age you start so if March / April became the youngest the issues would remain. If everyone started at 7 again the issues remain.

It's not something that can be solved collectively by allowing defferals.

That said as a parent we all want the best for our children and I can understand why some people would defer, and if they think it is best for their child like OP then so be it.

@RB68 you can now go into reception at 5 not 4. There are challenges but it is in theory an option. It doesn't have to be yr 1