To ask if you did / will you defer your summerborn child?

[Chillisauceboss]

I feel hugely passionate about deferring my summerborn child - research led / emotion led and I just think they have so many years in education / work life that they should have another year 'at home' (nursery play based informal learning)
But... most people around me think I'm absolutely barmy to consider going against the norm.
What did you do / plan to do?!

I think Dandelion isn’t completely wrong. I have two summer borns and they were ready for school. They had friends round. They were not tired. They did activities after school.

Some parents don’t prepare DC for school. However Teachers shouldn’t have to cope with DC who cannot cope. We will just end up with the school year being April to March. Then the spring term born DC will complain. Where will it end?

Long time ago (he’s now 22 😊) but DS started reception aged just 4 (24 August) he was fine in reception (it was mainly play based back then) but by Christmas of year 1 he was crying every morning and hiding under the coats at school.
His school said he just wasn’t ready, so he went back to do reception again, it felt like a wrench at the time (for me more than him as I’d made lots of friends in his class) but it was a really good thing for him, he ended up being very dyslexic and being the oldest in the class helped him a lot. He stayed in that year group all through school, I don’t regret it a bit, every child is different and some are more ready than others, so I think if you can now choose, then you need to make a choice based on your child and if you think they are ready, not what date they were born on.

I didn't even consider it for my August born DD. She was, however, the youngest of three and consequently wanted very much to 'keep up' with her older brother & sister.
I do think it depends very much on the individual child. Mine was (and still is!) very much the dominant child (at 19).
I wouldn't rule it out at all if a parent felt their child wasn't ready for school.

DD is 5, Year 1, end of July birthday.

I considered deferring but her Nursery said she couldn't stay for an extra year (private day Nursery) so it would have meant the school Nursery and the head wanted us to try her in the Reception class.

So glad I did, as she likes school and is doing well. Her friend is born 31st August and was deferred and it was the best thing for her, she's in Reception this year and is thriving she's also one of the oldest but only by 2 days so it's not made a difference in terms of her friendships.

I think there are a number of considerations. Firstly in my experience, making the decision at 2 or 3 is far too early, children come on massively in short periods of time.

Sport and other activities managed by age - child wont be with friends.

What happens at senior school? Certainly here, in an 11+ area, a deferred child would either have to take it a year early (according to his school year) or a year late depending on age. Getting a commitment from a school when your child is say 2 as to how it might pan out by the time your DC is 10 is a bit meaningless.

Anecdotally, my DC's school (2 form intake) split the classes by age - 1 form for Sept-Feb birthdays, 2nd form for Mar - August birthdays. My summer born DC was in the younger class. More children in that class passed the 11+ than in the older class.

I would in a heartbeat. I don’t get the argument that ‘they are ready’ or they are able and raring to go. Later is always better IMO and even more so as they get older and the curriculum more formal.

I’m in Wales where it isn’t a right. I sent my Summer born to Reception part time and she started yr1 full time at CSA. She isn’t even a late Summer born. Had she been born in August, I’d have fought and fought to delay her.

My other dc are all September born and academically able. Already reading on starting Reception etc etc. I still think they would benefit from a slower, more gradual start and from more play based years. They are still exhausted when they start school at nearly 5.

Absolutely defer if it is an option for you.

Also, an extra year of maturity before having to navigate secondary school / sit exams / go to uni can only ever be a positive thing

@Chillisauceboss

He just wasn’t ready, he’s been able to keep up intellectually but emotionally he really struggled, he’s quite imature for his age anyway and when he started school I would have put him socially and emotionally a year behind. socially he could have done with another year at nursery in the informal environment where he could develo his confidence.
When he started school he developed quite a lot of tummy aches and he came out in warts which the doctor thinks was stress related. He’d cry a lot and was very emotional. He had quite a lot of aniexty anyway which was amplified when he started school, he needed a lot of help to make friends and join in.
At one point I did consider home schooling but the school did help and put some plans in place.

I felt another year hold have been good to help him be on a similar level in regard to maturity but who knows maybe we would have had the same issues if he’s started a year later.

Tbh I can’t see any reason not to deferer

It's interesting reading people's reasons. I'm considering deferring my August born son. He goes to nursery 30 hours so it's not about me not letting go as some poster said! 🙄
I didn't grow up here and where I grew up (and trained to become a teacher), children are in an Early Years class until the age of 5 going on 6. Now, some might say that Reception is Early Years and play based. Unfortunately, as a teacher, as play based as they are, I've seen the emphasis put on reading and writing in some schools.
Now, from a parent point of view, I'm not worried about my son academically. I'm more concerned about maturity and emotional well being as he grows up. Someone said there always has to he an oldest and a youngest, which is true but if I can give my summer born an extra year of play based learning in a nursery, why shouldn't I?

I think only certain children, when there is a genuine need, should be aloud to defer. otherwise there will be children some 16 months older than their peers in the same year group and the only reason they are there is because there parents wanted them to have the advantage of being the oldest. I think exams will have to be adapted for age if this becomes a thing otherwise it just won’t be fair.

@Dandelion1993 its nothing to do with soft parenting. What utter total bollocks. My daughter has been at nursery since she was 2 years old; nothing at all to do with not letting her go. If you have the opportunity to do the best you believe possible for your kids you do it and sending a child to do 6 hours per day at school when they have just turned 4 seems like madness to me, hence for the summerborn campaign to even exist! Read up on summerborn children and the statistics and then come back with something intelligent to say; the statistics speak for themselves. If my daughters was born days later she'd be the eldest in her year and would automatically get another year of nursery. It's a birthdate lottery and why should my summerborn be the loser in the situation when the government are advising we can do differently if we choose?

@Chillisauceboss I have deferred my August 15 born to start in reception when shes compulsory school age and I've had a lot of looks from people and theres a huge lack of knowledge around the subject. Most people say I'm crazy for not wanting her at school all day as soon as possible.

It's a stupid birth date lottery and it's highly unfair that summerborns have drawn the short straw for so long. My daughter is so ready to start reception, shes very forward socially and in many areas and I know she'd get along ok in reception but its later on in year 1 & 2 when it gets so much harder that concerns me as that's when summerborns can really struggle. It's funny, if my daughter was born days later and was september born and eldest in the year there would be no concerns over her finding things too easy and "stretching her" academically but being a few days before september theres so much concern over her not finding it challenging enough. It stinks that if she was a few days latwe she'd get a whole other year of nursery to learn through play before doing the same in reception, I just dont get the issue people have with me wanting the same for my daughter.

It depends on your child. A bonus with my eldest as she was ready and capable and still sits comfortably in the top sets at GCSE age . But when I have done lesson support the summer months birth dates are unusually represented.
You say emotionally. I's that your reluctance to see her grow up or you feel she is behind her peers?

The thing is, as others have said, someone will always have to be the youngest. They have to be.

My child is a late July baby and has just started reception aged 4. To be honest I can't imagine having her at home another full year. She's loving school, getting wider stimulation than I could give at home and spending time with friends. If I'd deferred her I'd really feel it was holding her back. But every child is different. She was ready, others may not be!

Also; other countries that outperform the UK academically dont start formal schooling until age 7! 7!!!!!! They dont even focus on learning to read until then, peering to allow children to learn through play until they formally start school. I don't see the rush there seems to be in getting our kids into the schooling system so early.

One of the most academic students at my school (he passed 14 O Levels and 5 A Levels) was born at the end of August. He wasn't deferred - it wasn't fashionable at the time.

But doesnt it just make another set of children the youngest in the year? So lets say all the children born 1 April to 31 August decide to defer, and join the following year's cohort. Doesnt that cohort become children born between 1 April and 31 March? So, arguably, your DC could be born on 28 March and whilst they'd be 4.5yrs old starting school, many of their classmates could be almost 5.5yrs?

@eyedrops yes, some kids have to be the youngest in the year and proportionally most parents will want to send their summer borns off at 4. But some dont and the option of not sending them at 4 (compulsory schooling age is the term after they turn 5) is now there for the small percentage that feel their child would benefit from a deferred start.

My deffered daughter goes to nursery 4 days a week, 4 hours a day. She gets plenty of stimulation still.

I technically could defer DS (April bday) but he'll be off to school next year.

I'm not worried about him socially, but I do practise fun mark making with him a bit as summer born boys are most likely to struggle with it.

At the moment he loves all sport so I wouldn't want him to miss out on playing for teams due to age.

Lots of the DC in some countries are taught by the parents to read. Bright DC do not wait until they are 7. They read earlier. It suits some to wait but not others.

@africa2go be realistic, there is no concern over the masses of summerborns being deffered all of a sudden though is there? From what I've witnessed most people are desperate to get their kids off to school so they can work more hours/less paid for childcare. It's a tiny percentage that actively persue deffering.

Late August born DD here, deferred and just started in Reception. Definitely the right choice.
She’s doing fine at school. But struggling with after school club - too shy to join in etc. A year ago there is no way she would have coped. No SEN and is tracking slightly above average in academic achievement for age.

I gave her another year of jumping in puddles and playing. No one can ever take that away from her!

No one, and I mean no one at all agreed with my decision initially. Now a lot of people do.

Statistically it’s the best thing. Also I was the youngest in my year. Academically I was near top of the class. Emotionally there was a big difference.

Stand your ground OP!

Not judging by quite a few replies on here - why wouldnt you, without a doubt, definitely etc etc.

Havelock would you change your mind if your DS seems ready for school when they turn 4?

I am a summer born, I would have been bored if I had been deferred (not possible then). However, In DS's YR class there were some summer borns that might have benefited from deferred entry, however, there were also some September borns that didn't seem ready for school either. And the brightest and socially able child was also an August born, so it is not always that clear cut.