To ask if you did / will you defer your summerborn child?

[Chillisauceboss]

I feel hugely passionate about deferring my summerborn child - research led / emotion led and I just think they have so many years in education / work life that they should have another year 'at home' (nursery play based informal learning)
But... most people around me think I'm absolutely barmy to consider going against the norm.
What did you do / plan to do?!

No, I didn’t. Someone has to be the youngest in the year, and my daughter seemed capable of coping with school.

My parents actually had the option of me being one of the eldest in my school year and decided to send me early. Partly because they thought I was ready and partly because it suited them at the time.

It was FINE.

Are you serious? You think 30 odd replies on mumsnet is representative of the current population? The summerborn guidelines have been in place since 2014, there was 11 applications accepted in last years intake across the entire borough here where I live with summerborn being reason alone for deferral, other reasons being medical/sen.

Let me speak from the place of someone who didn't make the cut by 2 weeks. My mother could have deferred me but chose not to, so I struggled massively for years to just keep up, despite having a relatively high IQ. It affected my peer relationships and made me detest school until the competitive stage kicked in, where I was really at home. I always swore to defer any child I have if at all possible and give them that extra time of fun before all the pressures kick off.

I have for my August born - no SEN, was the best decision ever made with the support of a wonderful large primary and a switched on private nursery. It will always be a controversial decision for some, especially those who.feel the need to endlessly brag about how ready their summer horns were but I have no regrets and he is utterly thriving

We are (born prem in August). DC may well have 'coped' with school, but we want them to love it and thrive.

So it seems like from the replies of actual summerborn people on this thread that some people really struggled being summerborn at school (for different reasons) and some people excelled and were glad to have been sent to school when they were.

Its almost as if every summerhorn child is different and has different needs. Wow what a concept.

@Crazy i get you're passionate about this but your reply was quite rude. No I'm not seriously suggesting that MN is representative of the population, just that there are several replies saying they'd defer in a heartbeat. My point was that the deferal potentially just makes another group of children the youngest.

I think the month of birth is just one factor that may impact on a child's readiness for school - others might be older siblings, nursery attached to the school, nursery in general, personality. I think theres a certain angst about first children going to school which, with the benefit of hindsight, is not warranted.

As i said before, my personal experience of summer born DC and from the summer born DC in their class is that they outperformed the older children in their year group at Yr 6.

We did defer DC1 (premature August born with ASD). It was the right thing for him, he was completely unready for Reception at just turned 4.

But the problem we’ve had, is with having to move schools. We moved schools to a different LA. The new LA refused to back up DC1’s deferment as they hadn’t agreed it when he started Reception. They said it that the individual headteachers could choose to educate DC1 in the year below, but none of the schools with spaces had head teachers willing to do this (all of them claimed that deferral wasn’t allowed by the LA).

So DC1 has ended up back in the chronologically “correct” year group. I think, even so, the deferral was still for the best, given how unready for Reception he was at 4.

The experience has made me a bit more cautious about the idea of deferral, it all seems too much like a postcode lottery. I think ideally it’d be consistent throughout the country, so that once a child has started Reception in a particular year group they should be allowed to stay with that cohort regardless of where in the country they move to.

@Africa that may be your own personal anecdotal experience of summerborns but statistics universally show otherwise.

The school system needs completely restructuring so that no child no matter when they were born is disadvantaged for the time of birth in the academic year. Until that time (which is obviously not going happen) parents of summerborns who believe their child would excel starting school a year later should have the option of doing so, and they do.

Its almost as if every summerhorn child is different and has different needs. Wow what a concept.

Radical

I have two June babies. One was OK going to school at 4. The other would have struggled massively. Luckily we left the UK just as she turned 4, and moved somewhere that doesn't start them till 5. Even so she had an enormous amount of anxiety about school for the first few years.

Responding to the needs of summerborn children makes sense. Some might need to defer. Others might not.

I would also say to go and visit the school where you’re going to send your child. Do you know what they will be expected to do in reception compared to a private nursery or staying at home? You might be surprised. I’m an end of August baby I’ve been fine and achieved academically. I was however disappointed that I still legally couldn’t drink to celebrate my A level results!

DS1 is 14 now, so it wasn’t an option to me to defer for a year in those days. I deferred for a term which was all I was allowed. His birthday is late August. Should have been late September but he was prem.

If I’d been able to I’d have definitely deferred for a whole year. Whilst he is academically comfortable, he has struggled with being emotionally less mature than his peers.

@holdmylobster the issue I've faced is that my daughter would currently be absolutely fine in reception (apart from the fact she cant wipe her bum properly but I suspect this isnt rare!)

My issue is that there is a risk in sending your summerborn in not knowing the future and how they will cope once the pressure is on further down their schooling journey which is primarily why I deffered my daughter. You dont know if they will breeze through or struggle being summerborn so I figured another year of playing wouldnt do any harm but it's very hard to make others see my point of view.

But isnt the point, as you say, that every child is different? Some are ready, some arent. Why does a child born on 1st April get the option to defer, but a child born on 31st March doesnt?

I would have 100% done it for ds, summer born boy with hearing issues.
It would have been the right decision at the time.

Now he's at secondary I can see it would have been totally the wrong decision long term.

When my summer born son was starting school there was no option to start in Reception a year later, only to miss it out and join year 1. I thought that was an absolutely ridiculous idea that would have made a bad situation worse. But if the option to delay entry and begin in Reception had been available then I would definitely have taken it.
The evidence that summer born children, particularly boys, are, as a group, disadvantaged at school seems quite compelling to me. Obviously that doesn't mean that every child in that situation will struggle - population statistics cannot predict individual outcome - but I think parents should be able to make a choice based on a combination of population data and an assessment of their own child. I have never seen any convincing evidence that deferred entry is harmful so I am unsure why anyone would object to the idea.
My own experience is of course scientifically meaningless, but for what it is worth, my summer born son has found school life a lot harder than his sister who is one of the eldest in her year group. He has done well academically so far, and we hope he will achieve good A levels too, but socially he has always struggled a bit. It probably doesn't help that he is small for his age and started puberty later than average. It is hard to explain, but I have always had a feeling that most of his friends are kind of strolling through life at a steady pace whilst he is running like crazy to just hang on to the back of the group. He is always the last to do things - the first couple of his friends have now passed their driving tests but he won't even be able to start lessons til the summer holidays.I am encouraging him to consider a gap year between A levels and University, which will put him into the year group that I have always felt he belongs in. It is a shame we have had to wait so long to be able to do that.
My youngest has an early Sept birthday and so far has sailed through things that have been difficult for big brother, such as the transition to secondary. Obviously it is not all down to birth date as they have very different personalities and interests, but do think the added maturity of my September born child has made things a bit easier all round.
If anything, I notice the difference more now they are teenagers than I did when they were just starting school. It isn't just about how they settle in the infants, it is something that potentially influences them all through their school lives and beyond. If I had my time again, and the rules were as they are now, I would definitely fight for deferred entry into Reception for my summer born son. Obviously there are no guarantees that it would have made things better for him, but I can't see that it would have made anything worse and I suspect he would have been happier. I am also a summer born, and I excelled academically. I couldn't have got higher grades if I had started school later, but again, I never really fitted in socially and I suspect being one of the older ones rather than the youngest might have helped me.
Aside from anything else, adulthood lasts for a long time, and in my opinion it is vastly over rated. Why rush to get there any sooner than you have to? If you have the option to defer and it feels right, then go for it. If other people choose differently then that is their business - they have no right to interfere in yours.

Because it's based on evidence of children born in the summer not performing as well as their peers born later on in the academic year and ecause they are the parameters set in place by a schooling system that places August borns as the youngest in a year and September borns as the eldest. Against that, being born end of March places you in the middle of the year group. The guidelines we are talking about here are relevant to summerborn children. If the tables were turned and the school year started in April it would be called the spring born campaign. Compulsory school age is the term after a child turns 5, so in any case a child born in March wouldnt be legally obliged to attend school that year anyway.

Again, like I said it would be amazing to have a total restructure but it's not going to happen.

elbowedout I absolutely agree, you’ve described it perfectly.

OP, forgive me if I've missed it but from my reading of your thread you've not said anything about why you think your own summer born child should defer? I think it is wrong to base a decision on an individual child on statistics. I was born in late August, wasn't deferred (don't think it was a thing then), got 10 A*s at GCSE, 4 As at A-level (at a comp) and a first class degree from Oxford. You have to consider your individual child. I was very ready for school. Other kids maybe weren't.

Welshwabbit being summerborn alone reason enough in the admissions guidelines so OPs reasoning shouldn't need to come into it. Read elbowedout's post a few posts up, particularly the last two paragraphs, she puts it perfectly.

I didn't but wish I had with my DS who is now 17. He was premature July born but due Aug/Sept. He always seemed to struggle in primary school and was unhappy a lot of the time. He was diagnosed as dyspraxic when he was in year 6 and 10 years old. I felt terrible that as well as being one of the youngest he had also had an undiagnosed SEN.

As soon as he had his diagnosis his academics improved but he always seemed immature compared to his peers until he was a teenager. He didn't really begin to flourish until secondary school when he was about 14.

Crazyoldmaurice, but elbowedout specifically makes the point earlier in the post that you should assess your own child as well as looking at the statistics. Deferral wouldn't have been good for me; it probably would have been good for elbowedout and her (am assuming!) son.

My DD is end of August born and I chose not to defer. She's 6 now and truly thriving in Year 2. Every child is different so maybe reassess closer to the time?

My summer born is 4, non verbal autistic and has muscular dystrophy. I deferred. It isnt fair on the child or the teachers to send a child who isnt ready.

I know what you mean OP but I didn't defer my summerborn DS's school place as his nursery teacher said from her experience it's not so great having that extra year in nursery where all their friends have moved on to school and they have to make new friends, some of them almost a year younger than them. So that made my decision and you know what? He's developed his skills so fast since starting school. His teacher said he has shown the most progression in his class (at the last parents evening). This might not be the case for every summerborn but just wanted to share my experience.