Just seen my first 'spag bowl' on FB. I feel like I belong here now

[omikron]

I'm honoured.

Remember not to eat too much spag bowl if you're trying to loose some weight....

@Byerley

Of course you can say 'yes I do' in response to a question about whether or not you 'have' something!

The use of was instead of were eg we was running down the street...aaaargghh!

@Byerley

Yes, as in short for, ‘Yes, I do have that thing...’

@johnlennonsglasses , you might want to rethink 'rewinded'.

@CatteStreet it was me who put 'yous lot' in an earlier post. I'm not mocking regional dialects. I live in SE England and it's not part of the spoken vernacular here and yet it is part of the Facebook irritants. It's a bit of a strange affectation from people who speak in a broad estuary accent.

I hate lay instead of lie. I went for a lay down. What's wrong with lie down?

Yes weans, Scottish children. It's often seen spelt waines, Wayne's, wanes. This is really odd as I'm in Scotland so we should know better! It might just be autocorrect. I often spell my own dd's name the wrong way in texts!

Sorry not just Scottish children, it's used in the North East and Northern Ireland?

KitchenDancefloor, I didn't read your post as mocking - was just making a 'yous' appreciation post :)

I assumed 'wean' had developed from something to do with weaning, i.e. a baby soon to be/being weaned. But obviously (now I think about it) it's wee'un.

Oh yes, lay instead of lie really bothers me.

I was sat/stood. No! You were sitting/standing.

Your making me loose my mind.

I think the bought/brought thing is very common. I’ve known the difference since primary school but I still have to catch myself to say the right one.

When I was in hospital there was a nurse who said brufen instead of ibuprofen. I had to assume he knew what he was talking about, maybe a medical shorthand. Brand name makes sense. (I’m willing to bet the PP’s colleague who says it all the wrong ways just can’t pronounce it properly.)

@LadyMonicaBaddingham I love your acquaintance/ acquaintaince typo. Reminds me of naice ham.

Only this morning....

'I know I stick out like a SAW thumb'

When referring to their outfit for the day

I hate lay instead of lie. I went for a lay down. What's wrong with lie down?

Even worse is 'I was LED on the bed'

What is this? Surely you were LYING on it

Oh and people who say 'jamp' when they mean 'jumped'

Jamp is not a word ffs. No matter what anyone in Scotland says. It drives me insane when my kids bring this shit home from school and I have to go over basic words again.

It's not the Scottish past tense of anything others than bollocks.

I think someone mentioned “photo’s” up thread. Some people seem to think it’s necessary to add an apostrophe when pluralising a word that ends with a vowel.

It bothers me, but with photo’s there’s a vague logic to be had, in that the apostrophe could be denoting that photo is short for photograph. But I think photo has long been accepted as a word in its own right, therefore the apostrophe is UNNECESSARY AND WRONG.

I’ve really given myself a headache overthinking this!

Oh and 'can you higher the volume?'

I think there's a difference between something that's widely understood to be a regional variation (like 'yous') that might annoy you but is part of local dialect, and a phonic-style transcription that is just plain wrong in any dialect (e.g. 'in some near' for insomnia, which was a gem I saw on Twitter once).

'Yous' makes me wince - and I'm married to a Geordie who grew up using it and has never stopped - but I understand that it's part of Geordie speech so accept it's my problem, whereas things like 'bomb fire night' and 'hampster' are just...no.

Mind you, we say "damp squid" as a deliberate family joke and I'm bound to have said it to someone else without thinking, so there'll be people walking around thinking Tit is too thick to know it's 'squib'...

did we have mashines yet?

"They've always put her on a peddle stool..." PEDASTEL!

This thread has left me totally dis- orientated.
I need a lay down.

Whatdayisit2 you might want to check your spelling? Prime example of Muphry's Law! Also, any chance that the people getting it wrong are making IT Crowd references? See also 'damp squid'.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=XnXKVY-_i2c

Slightly different as it's not written, but if I have to hear my mother call Matalan 'Mataland' one more time then I might just claw off my own face!! It's not a LAND OF MATS!!!!!

I am so going to start calling Matalan "Land of Mats" now!