To say something to SIL?

[Linnylinn1]

First off I know it’s none of my business but...
SIL has had her first baby, we went to visit today (baby is a week old) and as we were there I came to realise they have the baby in its own bedroom! They sleep in their room down the hall. I asked if they used a monitor and she said no. So baby is sleeping in another room and they are down the hall with no monitor. PLEASE tell me I am not being unreasonable to say this is quite risky?? Or should I just keep my opinion to myself. I didn’t say much at the time as I was shocked but she said to me without prompt “ I wanted to start as I mean to go on with her (the baby) she needs to get used to her own room”
Have others done this? I had mine in my room until they were 4/5 months.

I looked at the NHS guidance on this...sleeping in parents room is something like no. 6 on the list for reducing risk of SIDs, after making sure baby not too hot or cold, ensuring feet are at bottom of cot, nothing in cot in terms of loose bedding, no cot decorations round the side, well fitting mattress etc etc ..then it mentions sleeping in parents room. So it's quite far down the list in terms of importance. It also states how babies are more likely to get sids if they have an underlying health factor, low weight etc.

I think the sister in law is being rubbish to do it so early. But with all the information given to mums by health visitors etc she will he aware of the guidelines. This is an informed choice.

The chances are the baby will be fine.

If you say something either of these outcomes are most likely 1) baby will be fine and you will look like an interfering

Oops posted too soon. I've forgotten what I was going to say, but in short I'd keep my mouth shut, they won't listen to you 🤣

Oh I would be worried too. Most new parents are told or read the advice and the science is clear about the benefits of sharing a room. Especially on regulating breathing. I always find arguments like ‘used to be the norm’ odd and unsystematic. After all it used to be far more the norm for babies to be in the same room/bed/cave!
The SIDs risk is minimal but higher for a FF baby in a separate room. Not to mention the lack of closeness and bonding.
Personally I would have found sleeping away from my newborn a pain as you have to get up and out of bed, lights on etc etc. Quite aside from missing the bonding, closeness and proven safety aspect. If parents I knew had done this I would have found it odd and weird to be perfectly honest.
Unpopular as it would make me I’d say something, even if you dress it up like, “has the midwife ok’d you sleeping separately from the baby? I thought they were really hot on room sharing because of the recent research” she/they then has the out of saying “what recent research?” And you can get your message across as firmly as you wish. I’m with you OP!

You asked if you should say something to her and I'm telling you if you were my sister in law and you advised me on my parenting I would tell you where to go.