@macblank
Yes. I used to get my dc a gift when it was their sibling's bd.
They are responsible young adults now. Not perfect, but hardworking and kind.
I actually don't remember making a big deal out of winning games on anyone's bd though.
Their grandmother used to beat them at all board games; she was competitive and loved for some things, but teased for that foible.
SHE also sent a along small gift to other child along with bd gifts.
I don't have a point really. Just that it's all going to "wash out in the end." We try to do what's best for our children and then they become us; adults. With personality quirks and craziness just like everyone else.
By now, my dc know peers who have died, been paralyzed, harmed by others and suffered all manner of horrid adult traumas and tragedies. Giving parents a break for however they treat their children is kind. Because we don't know why they did it.
I was once unexpectedly left with an autistic child at dd's party. It was stressful and pretty awful. But looking back, even though I think the parents were jerks, i think that they were afraid I would uninvite their dc.
Nobody is perfect. And those that seem to be perfect are either lying or in for a rude awakening.