Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you let your child win pass the parcel at their own birthday party it tells me everything I need to know about you.

281 replies

FastAway · 20/10/2019 19:43

Well, am I?

I mean, come on.

OP posts:
RHTawneyonabus · 20/10/2019 20:00

I think some people think the rules are that the birthday child should never win and that every child should have a turn. I’m in this camp.

However others on here seem to think that the rules are that the Birthday child should win.

Could just be that this mum was playing by ‘the rules’ As she understood them

QuietWalk · 20/10/2019 20:00

What was the star prize? Something decent or plastic tat?

If the latter I'd probably be glad that my child hadn't won!

Oysterbabe · 20/10/2019 20:00

That's bad form.
My DD has randomly won the last 3 parties we've been to she thinks that she'll always win now. At each one the parent turned round so they couldn't see but made sure every child got a layer before that.

LynetteScavo · 20/10/2019 20:01

I think it depends...no gift in each layer then it shouldn't be fixed, it should be random. Kids aren't stupid and they know if it's fixed. If there's a gift in each layer, then it can be fixed...that might me the birthday child , or a sibling or a child who wasn't keen on being left at the party, depending on the child's needs.

There is a lot of etiquette to pass the parcel.

msjrmesq · 20/10/2019 20:03

YANBU. The birthday child never wins at PTP.

ParkLife123 · 20/10/2019 20:03

YABU. Who on earth gives a toss about this?

Fillybuster · 20/10/2019 20:05

Ha! I so agree with you OP Grin. The birthday child gets loads of presents, they don’t need to ‘win’ one more....

imdoingfine · 20/10/2019 20:05

YABU I wouldn't have even thought anything of it and I bet the children didn't Confused

Cantsleeppast3am · 20/10/2019 20:05

Fuck me you must have a very empty life if this bothers you.

separatebeds · 20/10/2019 20:07

Birthday child is the only one who definitely does not win!!. Otherwise whats the point as you know the winner!!!

They have had enough gifts.

Original poster
FastAway · 20/10/2019 20:07

Grin I see the people who can’t bear to let their little darlings not win have joined the thread!

OP posts:
ClownsandCowboys · 20/10/2019 20:08

This happened accidentally at dd's last party, because DH is an idiot. He wrapped it all in newspaper, had no idea how many layers and did the last layer also in newspaper so I didn't know. Pillock.

I got dd to give it to a friend. Not easy as she has ASD.

user1498572889 · 20/10/2019 20:10

We played this yesterday at my grandsons party. It was made even more complicated by the fact that every child won a present but my daughter had picked individual prises for each child so she had to remember what was in each parcel and who it was for 😂 bless her it was her first kids party

LazyDaisey · 20/10/2019 20:10

“YANBU. The birthday child never wins at PTP.”

Amen, sister.

We make the adult holding the music turn around so they can’t favour anyone but still nudge discreetly once the bday child has been passed so the adult knows they can now stop music.

imdoingfine · 20/10/2019 20:10

@FastAway if you are really bothered about this, honestly you need to get a life

Original poster
FastAway · 20/10/2019 20:10

@ClownsandCowboys eek awkward. Heroic of you to push on through in that circumstance but at least you know all the other parents think you’re awesome.

OP posts:
LazyDaisey · 20/10/2019 20:13

“Fuck me you must have a very empty life if this bothers you.”

Fuck me, yours must be even emptier if you not only read stuff you have no interest in, but take the time to insult others just to make yourself feel better.

RickOShay · 20/10/2019 20:14

Same @Ginfordinner
Won’t anybody think of the children Grin

coffeeplease16 · 20/10/2019 20:17

I remember this happening at a party I went to as a child and thinking it was very odd!

Buddytheelf85 · 20/10/2019 20:17

I’d never thought about this (my DS is only 3 months so far too young for it to be an issue yet!)

It had never occurred to me that there would be such politics involved in PTP Grin but my immediate reaction is that of course the birthday boy or girl doesn’t win - they’ve already received a ton of gifts already haven’t they?

Original poster
FastAway · 20/10/2019 20:17

I mean sometime I don’t even invite my kids to their own parties!! The thought of them winning the main PTP prize makes me need to have a lie down....

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 20/10/2019 20:18

What was the prize? Just thinking if it was something expensive, mum probably had always intended for her son to win. If it was the standard colouring book, I think it very odd that she would want to add this to the mountain of presents her DS had already received.

CallieCat19 · 20/10/2019 20:18

This post is blowing my mind 😂 my dd is only 7 months so not been to any birthday parties yet but I remember when I was young it would always be that every child opened a layer and got a packet of sweets or something small and then the birthday kid would win the main prize. I just assumed this was how everyone did it!

Runningsmooth · 20/10/2019 20:19

I don't think you should do them the honour of accepting their hospitality again.

VashtaNerada · 20/10/2019 20:19

YANBU! Every child (inc birthday child) gets a sweet along the way and someone well behaved who is NOT the birthday child gets the prize in the middle. Tbh I’m so glad my children are now passed the pass-the-parcel age. The whole thing’s too stressful!